Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 12: Albania, Belgium & Spain

7th: Aurela Gace - Feel The Passion (80pts)

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Oh Christ, this one was hard work. :zombie:

I mean, look, usually I'm all in on a demented Cleo Rocos lookalike threatening to snap every tendon in her neck while engulfed in a smoke machine, but Jesus Aurela, has anyone introduced you to the concept of LIGHT and SHADE?

It really is just non-stop screeching for 3 painful minutes. No wonder the viewers at home recoiled. Why would anybody want to be shouted at like this? At least with Suus you felt like it came from a place of authentic trauma, whereas Aurela just sounds like she demands to speak to your manager RIGHT NOW.

With a better song, she probably had Kaliopi potential, but this wasn't the one. I seem to recall she was absolutely fuming after not qualifying. She certainly looks the type to have chucked a vase or two at a terrified underling in her time.

2 x 10 (Pingu, Madison)
1 x 0 (dmlaw)

 
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Every time I've opened these threads I keep expecting to find a country that's fared worse than the UK scoreboard-wise. There isn't one is there?
 
I am certain that I gave that thing my zero.

It's a prime example of the sort of song that you could listen to for several minutes without realising that it was in English, as well.
 
Raining On Me said:
Every time I've opened these threads I keep expecting to find a country that's fared worse than the UK scoreboard-wise. There isn't one is there?
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I've been thinking this. Did any other country fail to go top 10 once in the last decade?
 
6th: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive (80pts)

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Speaking of HARD WORK, here we have the closest Eurovision has ever come to a full-blown Jessie J song.

Elhaida was probably Albania's best chance at really contending, having already forged an international career by winning The Voice: Italy in 2013. Her victory at the Albanian national selection was essentially a coronation, and she swiftly ditched the rather run of the mill ballad she won with in favour of something a bit more contemporary.

In the event, she should have looked a bit harder as I'm Alive feels like something from that Anastacia album where she publicly claimed she didn't even particularly like music. It's just a horrible combination of being far too wordy AND far too shouty, resulting in a frantic mess that wound up as the definition of 'one song too many' when it closed the 2015 final.

She now stars in the touring production of Notre Dame De Paris apparently. I can't guarantee she doesn't play the Hunchback.

1 x 12 (Jacques)
4 x 0 (Suomi, Tischlampe, Penelope, Kevin)
 
Ag said:
I've been thinking this. Did any other country fail to go top 10 once in the last decade?
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San Marino and Montenegro. Of the regular contributors I think that's it. What GLITTERING COMPANY.
 
Croatia too, but they had a few absences. Also Finland haven't seen the top ten since Lordi, they did come 11th in 2014 though.
 
I couldn't help but notice that Albania had by far the best tits of this week's countries. If I'd been voting based on that, Elhaida would have gotten significantly more points.

It's possible that the lockdown may be getting to me.
 
dmlaw said:
I couldn't help but notice that Albania had by far the best tits of this week's countries. If I'd been voting based on that, Elhaida would have gotten significantly more points.

It's possible that the lockdown may be getting to me.
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Funnily enough I rated Albania as the third fittest woman in the 2005 rewatch yesterday. They may screech like their pubes are on fire but at least they've got their looks.
 
VoR said:
It's just a horrible combination of being far too wordy AND far too shouty
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:D

Albanian pent up distress all over then, but I'm quite partial to "I'm Alive". There's a contemporary melody in there somewhere and she at least manages to channel the misery into a vaguely pleasant tune.
 
5th: Lindita - World (111pts)

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For my money, the best of the 2014-2017 run of 'Oh for God's Sake these are all the exact same song!' At least this one has a bit of STRUCTURE.

Another one with connections, she had a bit of a run on American Idol and lived in L.A. for a bit. Sadly, none of this manifested in Kyiv, where she inexplicably turned up dressed like something that'd tap on the protagonist's window on a dark and stormy night during chapter three of a Bronté novel.

As ever, the lung power is impressive and she's doing her absolute level best to make a silk purse out of this, but the song underneath is still just a bit empty. All of these songs feel like over-sung thesis statements rather than actual expressions of human emotion so far.

3 x 12 (Suomi, Dark Carnival, Win The Game)
1 x 2 (Madison)
 
The bit where she holds the note for fourteen minutes towards the end is impressive. I mean, she's severely brain damaged now as a result of oxygen starvation but it made her a star.
 
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VoR said:
5th: Lindita - World (111pts)

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For my money, the best of the 2014-2017 run of 'Oh for God's Sake these are all the exact same song!' At least this one has a bit of STRUCTURE.

Another one with connections, she had a bit of a run on American Idol and lived in L.A. for a bit. Sadly, none of this manifested in Kyiv, where she inexplicably turned up dressed like something that'd tap on the protagonist's window on a dark and stormy night during chapter three of a Bronté novel.

As ever, the lung power is impressive and she's doing her absolute level best to make a silk purse out of this, but the song underneath is still just a bit empty. All of these songs feel like over-sung thesis statements rather than actual expressions of human emotion so far.

3 x 12 (Suomi, Dark Carnival, Win The Game)
1 x 2 (Madison)
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:(

You homophobic lot really are going to make that mall song win aren't you? :(
 
4th: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall (125pts)

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It really comes to something when the ROCK BLOKE gets this high. To be fair though, this is definitely in the upper reaches of its genre, and while Eugent Bushpepa's song is sadly nowhere near as silly as his name, he really is one of the more exceptional vocalists to take to the Eurovision stage in recent years.

I had a FEELING IN MY WATERS that this was going to be jury catnip once it made it out of the semis that year, so I put a fair old whack on him finishing top ten on excellent odds. Naturally he wound up in 11th.

2 x 12 (Buttertart, Tischlampe)
2 x 0 (Raining on Me, sewerynsven)
 
If it wasn't for face of hate Elhaida, we could have had Lindita in 2015 with what was her stronger song.

Love her Jessie J'ing her way through some CLASSICAL DRUM & BASS. Would have made a change from a decade of ballads.

 
VoR said:
4th: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall (111pts)

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It really comes to something when the ROCK BLOKE gets this high. To be fair though, this is definitely in the upper reaches of its genre, and while Eugent Bushpepa's song is sadly nowhere near as silly as his name, he really is one of the more exceptional vocalists to take to the Eurovision stage in recent years.

I had a FEELING IN MY WATERS that this was going to be jury catnip once it made it out of the semis that year, so I put a fair old whack on him finishing top ten on excellent odds. Naturally he wound up in 11th.

2 x 12 (Buttertart, Tischlampe)
2 x 0 (Raining on Me, sewerynsven)
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@Raining On Me and @sewerynsven have just made my list of enemies. I'm not angry, just disappointed. And angry.
 
It's probably for the best that Pen isn't here for the one country where there are almost no men to chase updated pictures of. I assume that no one needs to know what Adrian and Bledar are up to these days.
 
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