Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 6: Armenia, Iceland & Moldova

[Zu]

Svala FOURTH?

RUDE!

 

[dmlaw]

Hear Them Calling reminded me of nothing so much as a pound shop 'Of Monsters And Men'.

 

[Dark Carnival]

It's very much Lidl-value Margaret Berger.

Oh come on!

 

[Penelope]

Hear Them Calling reminded me of nothing so much as a pound shop 'Of Monsters And Men'.

It's ever more THRILLING than that nonsense! IT TAKES UP THE BPM AND GIVES THE WHOLE THING TO A METH ADDICT FOR HEAVENS SAKE

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Paper was fucking RIDICULOUS.

Sadly not the good kind.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Svala FOURTH?

RUDE!

I don't want you to start having a meltdown over it already, but I'm afraid we won't see our boys in the final Zu

 

[VoR]

3rd: Greta Salomé & Jonsi - Never Forget (135pts)

Greta's first, marginally less disastrous spin of the ole' Eurovision wheel, joined by scary-sexy 2004 veteran Jonsi for a rather stirring folk ballad that really does feel distinctly Icelandic. In the event, Loreen's vote-gobbling relegated all the other Nordics to the business end of the leaderboard, but this really is still VERY GOOD despite some shaky vocal work from Greta on the night.

(Sorry I'm rushing these last few, I'm nearing home)

5 x 10 (Pingu, Kevin7, David_5000, Ill Advised, dmlaw)
1 x 1 (Win the Game)

 

[Penelope]

I do still TO THIS DAY love to feyly walk down the street LIP SYNCING AND POINTING to Paper

LORD KNOWS how I haven't been gay bashed yet

 

[dmlaw]

I love Never Forget, but third was the best it was realistically going to do here.

 

[VoR]

So it's the QUEEN OF HEARTS vs those NAUGHTY LEATHER BOYS in the final two, and I can exclusively reveal that there's a mere FOUR POINTS in it

 

[Kala]

Are we in for an UPSET here?

 

[Zu]

I don't want you to start having a meltdown over it already, but I'm afraid we won't see our boys in the final Zu

Oh I’ve already adjusted my expectations regarding that. I mean it’ll be a disgrace but Mother Karma has a very beady eye and will punish everyone accordingly

 

[Dark Carnival]

So it's the QUEEN OF HEARTS vs those NAUGHTY LEATHER BOYS in the final two, and I can exclusively reveal that there's a mere FOUR POINTS in it

omg this is going to end up being another heartbreak isn't it?

 

[dmlaw]

I'm just going to assume that Hatari have won and will vote for them in the final regardless. It's the only fair way.

 

[Zu]

FOUR POINTS?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Are we in for an UPSET here?

Well not for everyone who votes for the winner.

 

[Penelope]

I'm just going to assume that Hatari have won and will vote for them in the final regardless. It's the only fair way.

Ah, also known as the @Suomi STATEMENTS strategy

 

[dmlaw]

In my commitment to avoiding tactical voting, I gave Fatty Hera exactly four points.

 

[Alla]

FOUR POINTS?

Breathe, darling, breathe.

 

[Dark Carnival]

In my commitment to avoiding tactical voting, I gave Fatty Hera exactly four points.

I gave her SIX, I hope I won't regret that

 

[dmlaw]

This would be a poor time for the train to pull into the station and us have to wait for VoR to get home.

 

[win_the_game]

4th: Svala - Paper (133pts)

Another one that wound up rather better in theory than in practice, by all accounts Svala was sort of Iceland's answer to Carola - only with more botox and bigger tits.

Brighter minds than mine have already thoroughly dissected the utterly hideous presentation of this, but suffice to say I think it had a mountain to climb anyway. It's very much Lidl-value Margaret Berger.

1 x 12 (Win The Game)
1 x 2 (Suomi)

While I loved Svala's attempts at budget electropop, I do much prefer her earlier incarnation as Iceland's answer to Mandy Moore.

 

[Zu]

I voted with my heart and also the poor love* did work night and day baking her lovely buns and flans to pay for the airfare

(*That’s Hera, not Klemens)

 

[AGinAg (37)]

This would be a poor time for the train to pull into the station and us have to wait for VoR to get home.

I'd hope he'd just stay on the train.

 

[dmlaw]

Newcastle is lovely this time of year.

 

[Zu]

OH THE HORRIBLE SUSPENSE

 

[Penelope]

A reminder that Hera has SLIMMED DOWN and now resembles an only faintly less evil Sharon Osbourne

 

[Zu]

Much nicer tubby

 

[ButterTart]

Hera really didn't understand Hatari. I seem to recall all the contestants being interviewed, and her looking at them like they'd just pissed on her kids.

 

[Alla]

I hate it when my fat girls slim down, no need.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Oh we will actually have to wait for VoR to get home? Does anyone know if he lives far away from the train station, I have to be in bed now!

 

[Zu]

Hera really didn't understand Hatari. I seem to recall all the contestants being interviewed, and her looking at them like they'd just pissed on her kids.

Oh she didn’t get them AT ALL! Wish I’d given her NOUGHT NOW

 

[Dark Carnival]

I hate it when my fat girls slim down, no need.

!!

 

[VoR]

2nd: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra (192pts)

Sorry Zu, DC - but hey! Getting a borderline unlistenable industrial punk dirge by a bunch of HETEROSEXUAL MEN this close to the finish line is an achievement in itself!

I jest, clearly this was utterly wonderful and just the ticket to shake Iceland from their half decade Eurovision stupor (albeit temporarily on the evidence of this year's flimsy selection ).

I foolishly convinced myself that this could actually WIN in Tel Aviv, which is clearly a ludicrous notion in retrospect and the exact reason why I should never place money on this thing despite following it more closely than most people care about their careers and children.

Still, a classic for the montages it remains. Winning popularity contests is so bourgeois anyway...

9 x 12 (Zu Klara, Dark Carnival, dmlaw, lolly, Ag, Penelope, Superstylin', Buttertart, Wurst)
1 x 2 (Win The Game)

1st: Hera Björk - Je ne sais quoi (196pts)

QUEEN! ICON! QUITE BIG TITS!

In a fairly flat Eurovision year, doughty old schlager warhorse Hera Björk was truly a SHINING STAR. The heroes welcome she got in the otherwise dreadful semi final is the stuff gay dreams are made of.

I hadn't quite graduated to blowing half my annual salary on attending back in 2010, so I watched this at home like a prole. I remember my then-housemate had some girl he was shagging around, and her look of abject terror when I did a full penalty shoot out scream of delight when Hera got the 10th envelope. (Based on the chanting, there would have been actual bloodshed if she hadn't).

Like all good gay heroines, Hera tanked the finals in a quite baffling 19th place. Needless to say she deserved better, but I doubt anybody's still listening to the poxy crap Ukraine went top 5 with that year, so let this win tonight be the cherry on top of what was already a clear MORAL VICTORY.

(sidebar: Hera Björk's one woman show is without doubt the most shambolic piece of live theatre I have ever witnessed. I was, naturally, eating it up with a spoon).

9 x 12 (VoR, Pingu, Alla, kevin7, David_5000, Raining on Me, Kevin, Ill Advised, Kalabaliken)
1 x 3 (lolly)

 

[Zu]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

[Dark Carnival]

Hera really didn't understand Hatari. I seem to recall all the contestants being interviewed, and her looking at them like they'd just pissed on her kids.

Oh what a silly girl! I hope they made her suffer.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Evrópa hrynja

 

[AGinAg (37)]

UPSET

 

[Penelope]

Wait, HATARI ARE STRAIGHT?!

 

[lolly]

I mean I know I ought to be eating that Hattie Jacques expecting a midnight caller chic shit up, but Je Ne Sais Quoi is a migraine to these ears.