Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 7: Belarus, Finland & The Netherlands (2 Viewers)

Violence erupts in Frankfurt as VoR dies before confirming whether Sister was actually better than Is It Right.

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I could understand VoR mysteriously disappearing just before giving the Russian results but who would have tried to nobble him this week? My money's on the one with the crazed look out of Kuunkuiskaajat (without the accordion).
 
VoR said:
OK, sorry for the delay. Let's get this started and hopefully we can once again bring this train into the station before midnight :disco:
Click to expand...
Floella Benjamin had just offered to step in as an emergency presenter. Thank GOD you’ve come back to life, she’s notoriously foul mouthed and we’re trying to appeal to the masses here.
 
Once again the show starts just as I'm heading out. Still, I can't stay mad at VoR after the scare of losing him.
 
Belarus

10th: Teo - Cheesecake (38pts)

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According to urban dictionary, in sexual terms 'Cheesecake' is an antiquated term used to describe sexy ladies. Kind of like a feminised version of the term 'beefcake'.

According to this song, Teo is tired of being the sweet cheesecake in his relationship, to which I can only infer that it's actually a stealth anthem for exhausted bottoms who dream of being tops. Which, I guess, kind of sums up Belarus' relationship with mother Russia.

Anyway this song is patent nonsense, but decently performed and I have a soft spot for the lyrics, which are nonsensical even by Belarusian standards. "I'm not your Patrick Swayze, and you're not Jennifer Grey". Talk about summing up an entire relationship in just a few perfectly chosen words. Your move, Joni Mitchell.

1 x 8 (wurst)
8 x 0 (Dark Carnival, Raining on Me, David_5000, dmlaw, Ill Advised, Win The Game, Jacques, Buttertart)
 
Hooray.

For VoR being alive, not for Cheesecake, which is an awful piece of shit even by the standards of Belarus.
 
Poor brave Cheesecake :( I actually found it somewhat CHARMING as the proceedings went on. I'd have given it a 12 and a 0 if I could
 
9th: 3 + 2 featuring Robert Wells - Butterflies (48pts)

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For the first two minutes, this is possibly one of the worst Eurovision songs of all time. Utterly incomprehensible and painfully plodding, with a range of vocal talants that could kindly be described as 'mixed'. If anyone can successfully transcribe what the lesbian haircut guy on the right is singing during his solo bits, they have sharper ears than mine.

All is instantly forgiven, however, when it comes to THAT reveal. :D Exactly the kind of ill-conceived nonsense Belarus have made their USP at Eurovision. Shame the Noel from Hear'say looking one chooses the same moment to decide it's all about HIM - mate, nobody's listening to your queeny ad-libs when the woman behind you literally just SPROUTED WINGS.

I like to think they had to stay dressed like that throughout the results, before trudging dejectedly onto the rainy streets of Dusseldorf in full garb when they only scored 8 points more than Josh DuBovie.

1 x 10 (wurst)
4 x 0 (Kevin, Kevin7, Kala, Superstylin')
 
:D! at wurst being single-handedly responsible for the slightly less shameful performances of the worst dirges so far
 
I actually found Belarus NOT ALL THAT OFFENSIVE as a round to be honest. Nothing so bad that I can immediately obviously recollect my nul.
 
I remember being in EuroClub one night in Oslo and I was talking about Butterflies saying how bloody AWFUL it was not realising half of 3+2 were standing behind me. I'm not sure I got away with it. But I stood by my opinions then and I do now!
 
I strongly suspect that they came up with the staging concept before they came up with the song and had to trot out something about butterflies to justify it.
 
Re-watching that Butterflies tat what's so striking is how it sounds so much like no one can be ARSED. But it's worse - they all sound like they can't be arsed in totally different (off) keys. It's like a huge inconvenient, waste of 3 minutes for all involved. Which of course is exactly what it is
 
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