Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 7: Belarus, Finland & The Netherlands

Raining On Me said:
:o

Noooo! You awful awful people

I fucking ADORE "Forever" and if we forget the live performance was worse than being gassed it's a TREMENDOUS song. The whole structure, the big orchestral break near the end, the sentiment. It's divine. God even his not at all fiddled with vocals suit the song, as long as he's not actually singing it in person. And they completely watered it down live too.

I really thought it would be a favourite here - it's probably in my top 10 of the DECADE :D:evil:
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Bottom 10 of ALL TIME for me!
 
5th: Uzari & Maimuna - Time (87pts)

hero.jpg


I'm with wurst with this one - how is this forgettable drivel so high? I guess he's quite easy on the eye, and looking at the scores it seems to have mostly benefited from not being actively offensive to many people, but it would have been nice if somebody had remembered to write a proper chorus for it.

A lot of the Belarusian entries are bad on some level, but commits the unforgivable sin of also being boring. It's a sad day when Belarus can't even be bothered to come up with a suitably ludicrous staging to dress up their 4/10 hopeful. I mean, just stick Maimuna in a giant hourglass a'la Princess Jasmine in Aladdin - it practically writes itself!

Speaking of Maimuna, got to respect the half-arsedness of that Violin miming. She wasn't wasting any perfectly good cat gut on this heap o'shite.

2 x 12 (superstylin', Kevin)
5 x 0 (VoR, Pingu, Penelope, Wurst, sewerynsven)
 
Raining On Me said:
:o

Noooo! You awful awful people

I fucking ADORE "Forever" and if we forget the live performance was worse than being gassed it's a TREMENDOUS song. The whole structure, the big orchestral break near the end, the sentiment. It's divine. God even his not at all fiddled with vocals suit the song, as long as he's not actually singing it in person. And they completely watered it down live too.

I really thought it would be a favourite here - it's probably in my top 10 of the DECADE :D:evil:
Click to expand...
I agree the studio version was actually better and richer than that watered down live perf. Still shit though.
 
I cannot BELIEVE that made it as high as fifth and now consider this an ACTIVE FLAW of the Eurovision voting system
 
How in the cocking FUCK is Forever this high up? We Are the Heroes and Help You Fly are lost artworks, and that flouncy drivel is deemed more acceptable than them?
 
Help You a Fly is one of the better songs for me, but I can't complain too much about its position given the unimaginably repellant staging.
 
Suomi said:
I think Time would have worked better if the performance had been him trapped inside a giant sand timer, with sand rising and oxygen dwindling for dramatic effect.
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Yes as opposed to Uzari performing like he was going to give Maimuna a back-hand across the face.

Which was the unfortunate reality.
 
Penelope said:
:D!
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Sorry but it's a total 10/10 electro ballad full of drama and I can't believe people object to it in studio form, but I can only assume we're ranking it on the nightmare-aural-art version instead. Which is surely misunderstood on every level :(

Especially when fucking "Time" rates higher
 
4th: Naviband - Story of my Life (102pts)

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A rare organic moment from Belarus in 2017, maybe the ease of popping over the border to Kyiv inspired them to relax a bit and take their foot off the pedal.

I wouldn't want this sort of thing from them every year, but it's terribly sweet and they were clearly having the time of their lives. You wouldn't know it from the incomprehensible enunciation in some of their other entries, but this is Belarus' only non-English language entry to date. It came around a time when the government was trying to promote Belarusian over the more widely spoken Russian, so maybe that's why this got through over the usual untalented son/daughter/mistress of some local crime lord or another.

They have a baby now. Based on the excitable snog they finish their finals performance on, he may well have been conceived that very night.

2 x 12 (Dark Carnival, sewerynsven)
1 x 1 (David 5000)
 
Raining On Me said:
:o

Noooo! You awful awful people

I fucking ADORE "Forever" and if we forget the live performance was worse than being gassed it's a TREMENDOUS song. The whole structure, the big orchestral break near the end, the sentiment. It's divine. God even his not at all fiddled with vocals suit the song, as long as he's not actually singing it in person. And they completely watered it down live too.

I really thought it would be a favourite here - it's probably in my top 10 of the DECADE :D:evil:
Click to expand...

I'm with you, sis. Forever is brilliant; the live performance was dog shit, but it still deserved to win this thing.
 
I now have to drive back home from my parents, so I'll see you in an hour or so. Presumably just in time to find out who came seventh for Finland.
 
Beverley said:
I'm with you, sis. Forever is brilliant; the live performance was dog shit, but it still deserved to win this thing.
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God love you Bev :disco:

I have never been more mortified in terms of a song's transformation from studio form to live horror show as this. The gulf is actually traumatic.

BUT THAT ORIGINAL SONG
 
3rd: Alyona Lanskaya - Solayoh (155pts)

Alyona-Lanskaya-disco-ball-eurovision-2013.jpg


Belarus may be a viciously homophobic dictatorship, but they certainly aren't above shamelessly courting the pink ruble when it comes to Eurovision, as evidenced by this saucy number which subtly signposts its intended audience when lovely Alyona literally emerges from a giant onstage disco ball (an effect sadly marred by some seriously WTF camera work)

Song-wise, this is as cheap, tacky and by the numbers as a Kelly Llorenna solo single, but in a fairly midtempo Eurovision it felt like manna from heaven. Once she's out of the disco ball there's not much else to the stage show, but there's some enthusiastic choreography, and in the grand mean girls tradition, Alyona clearly wasn't taking any chances that the backing singers might pull focus. The state of those ugly shapeless dresses!

Anyway, a cheap thrill at best, but there ain't nothing wrong with that. CHA CHA!

1 x 12 (Ag)
1 x 0 (Suomi)
 
I mean COME THE FUCK ON, when ELSE has anyone so shamelessly emulated the ALCAZAR TEMPLATE and emerged STAGE DISCOBALL on the scripted directions?!?! :disco: :disco: :disco:

STRAIGHT OUT OF 2005 AND ALL THE BETTER FOR IT!
 
Had they gone with the original track for Alonyah I would have abandoned my voting for tracks with musicality and feeling and given it my 12 :disco:



Why on EARTH was it changed?
 
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