Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 7: Belarus, Finland & The Netherlands

This top 3 (plus poor discarded Alekseev by flawed voting and miserable souls) is up there with the finest so far and I need to go stay in some seedy hole in Belarus IMMEDIATELY
 
2nd: Zena - Like It (162pts)

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Essentially the lost Polish Margaret entry we've long been denied, this cheap 'n' cheerful bop is arguably the most on-trend Belarus have ever managed to be at Eurovision. Zena was a good little performer who managed not to be overshadowed by the rather strange illuminati imagery they kept flashing up behind her.

A very professional performance, which counts for quite a lot in this company.

4 x 12 (Alla, Buttertart, Win The Game, Ill Advised)
2 x 4 (wurst, David_5000)

1st: Anastasia Vinnikova - I Love Belarus (177pts)

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Now THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why you need the odd tinpot dictatorship to Spice up the Eurovision stew. I mean, you're never going to get a similarly crass nationalistic banger called "I LOVE BELGIUM!" are you? (I can, however, see the UK sending something in this vein before we withdraw forever if and when Brexit takes our economy down the tubes).

On a night when several instant Eurovision classics failed to reach the final, this one stung particularly hard. Although, in retrospect, it is shockingly shoddy that they made no effort whatsoever with the staging. Of all the songs, how was THIS the one where they decided to opt for a less is more approach?!

Improbably enough, the best Belarus entry ever was a last minute swap-out when the similarly themed national final winner Born in Belorussia was deemed ineligible. The performance of that one genuinely makes me want to move to Belarus. The rolling eyes! The dead audience who are absolutely being held at gunpoint! Anastasia's iconically crap performance! If this is communism, take my best goat and SIGN ME UP.



8 x 12 (VoR, Pingu, Jacques, Penelope, wurst, Kevin7, David_5000, Kalabaliken)
1 x 3 (Buttertart)
 
God Belarus is like a coked up fever dream and Zena is carrying the professional pop polish among the more outlandish nonsense. WHAT a country :disco:

On a Zena note, another one I was so happy to see qualify against the odds, it's a solid banger and remarkably what should be a live mess she delivers so, SO well. I think "Like It" pops into my head at least once a day and shows no signs of letting up a year on
 
Poor Zena the "slattern" :D (I would contest the suggestion of talentless, less so "pie-faced")

There are bigger slatterns being given points around these parts
 
Moving swiftly (:eyes:) on...

Finland

10th: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina mun pitää (12pts)

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Oh you ableist monsters! #MoopyIsCancelled

Alright, fine, this clearly isn't music. But at least it's short, and personally I find it much less offensive than CERTAIN OTHER Finnish entries that actually went on to clog up the finals. But we'll get to that.

I will draw a dignified veil over this and merely point out that due to the quirky voting system in the Finnish national selection, you can see how the various juries ranked the songs by demographic. LGBT Finns gave this a 12, while Eurovision fans and Children gave it zero. Taxi drivers gave it a middling 6. I am not making any of this up.

1 x 4 (wurst)
12 x 0 (Buttertart, Superstylin, Jacques, Penelope, sewerynsven, Win The Game, Ill Advised, dmlaw, Kevin7, Alla, David_5000, Kevin)
 
I briefly considered giving a point to the punks out of recognition that, whilst it is unlistenable drivel, at least it's half the length of something like Sing It Again.
 
VoR said:
Moving swiftly (:eyes:) on...

Finland

10th: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina mun pitää (12pts)

pertti_kurikan_nimipaivat.jpg


Oh you ableist monsters! #MoopyIsCancelled

Alright, fine, this clearly isn't music. But at least it's short, and personally I find it much less offensive than CERTAIN OTHER Finnish entries that actually went on to clog up the finals. But we'll get to that.

I will draw a dignified veil over this and merely point out that due to the quirky voting system in the Finnish national selection, you can see how the various juries ranked the songs by demographic. LGBT Finns gave this a 12, while Eurovision fans and Children gave it zero. Taxi drivers gave it a middling 6. I am not making any of this up.

1 x 4 (wurst)
12 x 0 (Buttertart, Superstylin, Jacques, Penelope, sewerynsven, Win The Game, Ill Advised, dmlaw, Kevin7, Alla, David_5000, Kevin)
Click to expand...

As bad as it is I didn’t give it my 0.
 
dmlaw said:
I briefly considered giving a point to the punks out of recognition that, whilst it is unlistenable drivel, at least it's half the length of something like Sing It Again.
Click to expand...
Sing It Away? And it's exactly why I gave it more points too.
 
Also, Solayah robbed.

I'm fascinated by how quiet Alyona's 'Thank You Europe' at the end of the song turned out to be. Either nobody had told her that her microphone wasn't going to be switched on or she made the misguided decision to go for 'seductive' in spite of being dressed like a Quality Street that was refused entry to a Revolution Vodka Bar for being just too slutty.
 
9th: Paradise Oskar - Da Da Dam (45pts)

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45 points! I genuinely hoped this might be a contender for our first ZERO, and that's with it sharing a semi with PKN.

Utterly repugnant faux-woke nonsense from a half-hearted sketch of Ed Sheeran. I've had to swallow some pretty questionable lyrics in my years of Eurovision looning, but this one still makes my toes curl.

I hope he cried on the plane all the way back to Helsinki. Tosser.

2 x 8 (Jacques, dmlaw)
6 x 0 (Pingu, VoR, Ag, wurst, Raining on Me, Kevin)
 
Poor Oskar. It's at least relatively pleasant, which is not something that can be said of more than half of the songs in this line up.
 
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