Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 7: Belarus, Finland & The Netherlands

I love Blaccbird and all, but frankly those camera angles throughout CONSPIRED to knock her out (especially coming after the semi and all)

The fates frankly ORDAINED to have Monsters in the semi so I can't/shan't complain :disco: :disco:
 
Netherlands

10th: 3JS - Never Alone (22pts)

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Moopy, I have nothing. Nada. Zip. Ingenting. This entry is essentially white noise and a test card in my mind.

Easily the most forgettable Eurovision entry of the decade from any country. Did it even happen, or did someone just fill it in on Wikipedia afterwards? WHO CAN SAY?

There are more hateful songs in this round, but I just had to give this one the zero for non-participation. It's not even a fail so much as a 'The Netherlands did not turn in the assignment'.

1 x 5 (Alla)
6 x 0 (Kala, Kevin, VoR, David_5000, Buttertart, Pingu)
 
Why is it fashionable to hate poor, wanting-it-all Saara? Monsters is a phenomenal pop song and it was only the stage show that fudged it up, if they had a clear idea instead of the "let's try anything and chuck it ALL in" approach I imagine she'd have finished a lot higher. As in 14th maybe.

I love the whole thing anyway, it's just a brilliant package (well it was before it got to a stage). It doesn't feel beyond the realms of possibility of Saara representing the UK in 2022.
 
Well, personally, I thought that it was a bold decision for 3JS to send their lead singer dressed up as a pornographer.
 
9th: Waylon - Outlaw In 'Em (33pts)

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This one makes SO much more sense now that I know it was staged by the same hack who killed Trintje's chances. :D

Everybody's second favourite member of the Common Linnets does his best Billy Ray Cyrus impersonation surrounded by dancing slaves in Confederate-era garb, everything about this reeks of bad taste. Waylon did not take kindly to the suggestions that this staging MIGHT read as ever-so-slightly racially insensitive at the time.

I feel like this is a spiritual NQ, despite the fact that it made the finals. I hope someday Ilse comes back to the Contest and wins the whole thing, while this prick is never heard from again.

1 x 5 (Buttertart - clearly in the KKK)
7 x 0 (Raining on me, Alla, sewerynsven, Penelope, Suomi, Jacques, Win The Game)
 
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8th: Joan Franka - You & Me (59pts)

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Gosh, between this, the Waylon incident and the moment the blonde one from OG3NE screamed out '9/11 WAS A JEWISH CONSPIRACY!' during the dress rehearsals in Kyiv, the Netherlands really have made dubious racial choices something of a THEME this past decade. :bruised:

Positives: This is a nice song. If she'd only taken that bloody headdress off (and not sung it so poorly, in fairness) it might have stood a chance. As things are, Joan has the distinction of being the straw that finally broke Anouk's back.

I presume she's since had some sensitivity training and is now gainfully employed by a HR consultancy.

1 x 8 (Dark Carnival)
3 x 0 (Ag, dmlaw, Kevin7)
 
So, that's two deeply racially insensitive stagings for the Dutch this decade. Questions to be answered?
 
Penelope said:
I wouldn't look at them twice in 2020, and neither would you.
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:D! The middle one is FINE ENOUGH and the one on the left is perfectly doable in a Kevin Bacon fantasy-fetish way, if you're so inclined

The last group you posted saying similar things about were mostly worth the 50p admission as well, so I'm not sure what level you're at Pen but WELL DONE on the high standards or maybe I have none as is often likely
 
The Netherlands is the last time I saw blackface in public actually. (At a Christmas thing in Amsterdam)

Definitely a weird and unsettling quirk of an otherwise lovely country.
 
VoR said:
The Netherlands is the last time I saw blackface in public actually. (At a Christmas thing in Amsterdam)

Definitely a weird and unsettling quirk of an otherwise lovely country.
Click to expand...

They do have a thing for ZWARTE PIET.
 
To be fair The Netherlands have been consistent in style. It's not like "You & Me" is much different to what they've peddled the entire decade. It's just somehow they managed to polish up that same style with (some) better songs
 
I actually liked Outlaw In 'Em, Jabba's palace staging aside. I really enjoyed You & Me as well.
I just remember that the Netherlands is the country that introduced us to Zwarte Piet, and adjust my expectations accordingly.
 
7th: Douwe Bob - Slow Down (70pts)

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He may have a slappable face and unacceptable tattoos, but I really warmed to Douwe in Stockholm. He was refreshingly no fucks given about his bisexuality ("The gayest thing I've ever done? Fucked a man!") and I loved that he got into a queeny feud with the Israeli singer and entirely came out on top. I like to think the cute bald guitarist was on the receiving end of a tender and committed blow job at some after party or other too.

Ahem... anyway, I have.nothing to say about the song, which is standard-issue Dutch country music. 11th feels like the perfect finishing slot for it on the leaderboard, and so it was. That extended moment of silence was annoying, but I guess it helped him stand out.

If it wasn't obvious, I am much more interested in fantasising about Douwe Bob than I am writing about his music.

4 x 6 (sewerynsven, Kevin, Alla, Win The Game)
2 x 0 (Ill Advised, wurst)
 
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