My Top 500 Songs (complete!!)

Agneeta said:
354 Samantha Fox - Hot Boy (2018)

Where's @BoysForSeles

When 80s pop stars come back and shamelessly rehash their old sounds, it either flops or sets gay Spotify playlists alight. She certainly mine alight.

I mean she's total rubbish, but the girl's been through it and still releases music aimed at straight men, despite her audience being entirely gay men, and to boot she's a lesbian. Iconic :disco:

Treat yourself to the Johan Agebjörn for the FULL 12 INCHES :ken:



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A pleasing piece of trash.
 
Stoned In Love was a fabulous chart swansong for Jones. Imagine waiting five decades before letting the public know that actually you can do something other than FOGHORN.

I have nothing to add to Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart that Funky didn't articulate, so just to ENDORSE that message.
 
350 Haddaway - Rock My Heart (1994)

For me Life was not the right follow up to What Is Love, this was far more in the same vein as the big hit. Credit to Haddaway for squeezing four top 10 hits out his first album (never forget the ballad I Miss You).

Infamously Haddaway, a lumbering chap, can't dance. You can seen in the video he displays his absolute lack of ability, leaving it to some painted girls.

 
349 Paloma Faith - Only Love Can Hurt Like This (2014)

Her fame goes way beyond her five top 10 hits, of which this is by far her biggest. Recently seen on Celebrity Traitors, this Diane Warren penned track was name checked on Uncloaked by Alan Carr, while shading his former best friend's distress at being killed first. It's a great pop ballad, with her most famous performance perhaps being the rain performance at the Brits.



 
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348 Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande - Rain On Me (2020)

Another rain heavy performance. Stefani dragged Grande out of her tedious whispering phase and added her to this lockdown bop. Oddly my Chromatica fave 911 missed the top 500.

 
347 Alizée - Moi... Lolita (2000)

One of the most recent French language songs on the UK charts. Penned by Mylène Farmer, I believe the only time she saw any UK chart action.

The subject matter was edgy and uncomfortable to say the least, while the singer Alizée was just 16 at the time of initial release. If it wasn't for the chugging house beat, it could have been something from the sleazier side of the late 60s.

Despite all that or maybe because of it, I absolutely adore it!

 
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God I’d forgotten about Grande’s tedious whispering phase. Mumble singing a nadir in the history of pop music. Imagine having that voice and hiding it just so you can have a radio hit in 2018. Dark times.

Rain On Me is great. Gaga really nailed the 90s references on Chromatica in a way that Beyonce did NOT on Renaissance.
 
It's dizzying and decadent. Almost wish Mylène had stormed the UK charts herself with it, complete with schoolgirl mini dress on totp just for a giggle. I'm Not Twenty indeed.
 
345 Rihanna - Umbrella (2007)

I don't think I've listened to this in a very long time. It does sound pretty sweet after a decade+ apart. I "saw" her perform this, about 18 miles from the stage at V Festival, clutching a broken umbrella. Oh the fun we had.

 
344 Desireless - Voyage Voyage (1986)

Lolita certainly not the first French song on the UK charts. The 80s charts was full of foreign languages, back when Farage was just a fledgling Nazi, and Europe was seen as a desirable dream for most people.

This is some VERY HOT 80s europop and is probably about the most credible of the genre.

 
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341 Blondie - Long Time (2017)

Debbie Harry is probably one of my favourite pop stars of all time. I've seen them a fair few times and they've always provided a rollicking good time. This was the lead single from the fourth of their comeback albums (fifth out this year apparently, although sadly without Clem) and it's an absolute blast. Co-written by Dev Hynes, with more than a nod to Heart of Glass, this sits happily with their best.

 
340 Madonna - Ray of Light (1998)

The mother of all reinventions, she took the indirect route from cumslut via musical theatre and arrived at earth mother. I was never particularly a Madonna fan, but for several years I considered myself a big fan, and it started with this album.

Another classic Madonna #2, frentic, exciting, joyous, influential, contemporary. She really found herself back on top and rightly so.

 
339 Steps - What the Future Holds (2020)

I'm not sure any of us expected Steps to still be a going concern in 2020, but then we didn't expect Brexit or Covid, so light and shade.

I had no idea, this was written by Sia. Despite that a solid addition to their repertoire.

 
338 Candi Staton - Young Hearts Run Free (1976)

This first came to my attention via the Kym Mazelle cover on the legendary Romeo+Juliet soundtrack. Actually I refuse to believe that, but still it was such a camp highlight, it highlightes to a young fledgling homosexual, called Ag, what he could have.

Obviously the Candi version is exceptional and the only one worth playing. At 85 Candi has survived breast cancer, is on to her sixth husband and is still performing. Legend.

 
Agneeta said:
338 Candi Staton - Young Hearts Run Free (1976)

This first came to my attention via the Kym Mazelle cover on the legendary Romeo+Juliet soundtrack. Actually I refuse to believe that, but still it was such a camp highlight, it highlightes to a young fledgling homosexual, called Ag, what he could have.

Obviously the Candi version is exceptional and the only one worth playing. At 85 Candi has survived breast cancer, is on to her sixth husband and is still performing. Legend.

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An all time YES GAWD from me
 
That Katherine Jenkins remix is straight onto my gym playlist :disco:

Alicia fantastic, Let Loose a towering example of the genre, Timebomb utterly fab and What The Future Holds is Steps on full force.

Will have to properly dive into the list over a long weekend.
 
337 Mary J Blige - Family Affair (2001)

First things first 13,567,753 out of 10.

Secondly how does she only have ONE big hit? Her UK charts record, aligns with her Spotify plays, it's this and then way down in 2nd a remix of Be Without You. I mean Pixie Lott has more bonafide hits.

Shame on the world.

 
334 Scatman John - Scatman (1995)

Now we're chatting scatting. It's reassuring to know that he passed many years before everyone got the Internet and discovered the other meaning of scat. Scatman indeed.

This is quintessential novelty Eurodance. Take an unlikely novelty sound (country, charleston and in this case, well jazz scatting) and give it a house/ techno make over. For the record, I think this has considerably more merit than Cotton Eye Joe or Doop, probably because he wasn't in it to create a novelty track. An unlikely bop!

 
333 Emmie - More Than This (1999)

One of a few tracks that appear twice on the top 500, the original still to come. A glorious rehash of the Roxy Music classic, not quite trance, but certainly shares a similar atmospheric futuristic vibe. Emmie last seen job hopping on local radio.

 
Agneeta said:
334 Scatman John - Scatman (1995)

Now we're chatting scatting. It's reassuring to know that he passed many years before everyone got the Internet and discovered the other meaning of scat. Scatman indeed.

This is quintessential novelty Eurodance. Take an unlikely novelty sound (country, charleston and in this case, well jazz scatting) and give it a house/ techno make over. For the record, I think this has considerably more merit than Cotton Eye Joe or Doop, probably because he wasn't in it to create a novelty track. An unlikely bop!

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I unironically love this
 
Why is that Mariah track so good though? It’s pure gloop. Mind you, most of that album is pure gloop and I love it. Don’t go back to it as much now compared to other Mariah old school albums, it’s a bit ballad heavy, but it has lots of memories for me

A big fat NO for Scatman from me, you’ll be SHOCKED to hear :D
 
Scatman is absolutely my favourite of the 1990s NONSENSE genre. Did he himself understand the meaning of scat?

I'd pick Emmie over the Roxy Music original, being a predictable online gay. Roxy veers a little too close to whiny versus Emmie's ethereal wailings. "Avalon" would be the Roxy go-to.
 
funky said:
Why is that Mariah track so good though? It’s pure gloop. Mind you, most of that album is pure gloop and I love it. Don’t go back to it as much now compared to other Mariah old school albums, it’s a bit ballad heavy, but it has lots of memories for me

A big fat NO for Scatman from me, you’ll be SHOCKED to hear :D
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I presume you prefer Scatman's World.

 
331 Clean Bandit - Rather Be (2014)
332 Jessie Ware - Spotlight (2020)

Warning: 331 contains traces of Jess Glynne.
Alert: 332 is by Jessie Ware
Silver lining: There is no Jessie J on the top 500.

Spotlight may be our second sultry gem, it's manna from heaven. Rather Be was fun for 2014, but I don't see me ever playing it again.



 
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330 Tracey Thorn - Dancefloor (2018)

Thank God, for R TRACE. Everything But The Girl are so sporadic with their releases, they'd make Kate Bush blush. Leaving 24 years between albums. However fans could console themselves with the fact Tracey has some lovely solo releases. This is some peak disco from the Record album. Specifically, I love the Ewan Peterson remix. Enjoy!



 
Right, the next run of songs are absolutely loaded. I'm off work tomorrow, to get ready for some absolute MOOPY DIAMONDS.
 
Agneeta said:
331 Clean Bandit - Rather Be (2014)
332 Jessie Ware - Spotlight (2020)

Warning: 331 contains traces of Jess Glynne.
Alert: 332 is by Jessie Ware
Silver lining: There is no Jessie J on the top 500.

Spotlight may be our second sultry gem, it's manna from heaven. Rather Be was fun for 2014, but I don't see me ever playing it again.



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HOW DARE YOU LUMP THESE TWO SONGS TOGETHER

I feel UNCLEAN
 
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