Oxford-AstraZeneca Coronavirus Vaccine Approval WEDNESDAY

[Star]

HELP I want the vaccine

Sadly I imagine you're so far down the vaccination list that you've plenty of time to get registered. There's an nhs website that you can find a local gp on, have a look and sign up.

 

[SDF]

IKR it’s such a shame they’re being so discriminatory against middle aged white men

The injustice of it all!

 

[Rita]

I just had my brother and his family PRANK ME. They phoned asking for my address with a disguised voice saying I had ordered pizzas and 2 bottles of Diet Coke and they needed my address to drop it off. I of course told them to fuck right off and shove it up their arse. Now the kids are going around shouting FUCK RIGHT OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE at the top of their voice. They should have known they would get a mouthful from me.

OH DEAR.

 

[big ron]

My friend has sent me 2 grams for tomorrow by post, but has put the house number for across the road by accident. A very 2020 end to 2020.

 

[Kate]

I just had my brother and his family PRANK ME. They phoned asking for my address with a disguised voice saying I had ordered pizzas and 2 bottles of Diet Coke and they needed my address to drop it off. I of course told them to fuck right off and shove it up their arse. Now the kids are going around shouting FUCK RIGHT OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE at the top of their voice. They should have known they would get a mouthful from me.

OH DEAR.

 

[big ron]

It’s signed for as well so I’m going to have to get up and knock on, ask them to send the postman over when he comes. Ive lived here 2 months.

 

[big ron]

Hi I’m your new neighbour please make sure i get my drugs thx

 

[Nancy]

Less than 10 minutes of work left! But I've finished my last chat so am enjoying a glass of wine while the clock counts down to 8.

 

[Soldi]

Fucking POWER CUT here and it’s -1

 

[Rita]

Fucking POWER CUT here and it’s -1

Oh no. Keep warm darling.

 

[RJN]

Fucking POWER CUT here and it’s -1

Have a glass of wine or 4 and you’ll make it through

 

[Lucille]

Oh god I just NODDED OFF after dinner and now don’t know what’s GOING ON.

 

[Soldi]

I mean I wouldn’t mind but having a shit in the dark is no fun.

 

[Tisch]

Oh god I just NODDED OFF after dinner and now don’t know what’s GOING ON.

What a GRANDAD thing to do!

 

[Iguana]

What a GRANDAD thing to do!

Aren't you two the same age?

 

[Tisch]

Aren't you two the same age?

Yes and as you are aware I love a good nod off too

 

[Rita]

I mean I wouldn’t mind but having a shit in the dark is no fun.

Did your stomach start bubbling when the lights went out? Could be worse, love. You could have shat yourself.

 

[Nancy]

I’m KNACKERED! Still got my vegan dinner to sort

 

[Rita]

I’m KNACKERED! Still got my vegan dinner to sort

What’s for dinner?

 

[Lucille]

NUTS AND BERRIES.

 

[Rita]

I’m KNACKERED! Still got my vegan dinner to sort

Some of us are KNACKERED and haven’t done anything LIKE a 12 hour shift in the bedroom.

 

[Nancy]

What’s for dinner?

CHARGRILLED AUBERGINE STEAKS IN AN ASIAN INSPIRED SWEET AND STICKY SOY SAUCE from GAY SAINSBURY’S with BROWN RICE

 

[Nancy]

Some of us are KNACKERED and haven’t done anything LIKE a 12 hour shift in the bedroom.

Can’t stop thinking about the gay I was chatting to yesterday who randomly brought up the ASDA in HULME

 

[Rita]

CHARGRILLED AUBERGINE STEAKS IN AN ASIAN INSPIRED SWEET AND STICKY SOY SAUCE from GAY SAINSBURY’S with BROWN RICE

DELIGHTFUL.

 

[Rita]

Can’t stop thinking about the gay I was chatting to yesterday who randomly brought up the ASDA in HULME

Again, DELIGHTFUL

 

[Nancy]

Again, DELIGHTFUL

I gave him a GOOD PRICE

 

[Lucille]

Can’t stop thinking about the gay I was chatting to yesterday who randomly brought up the ASDA in HULME

MAYBE HE’S THE ONE

 

[Rita]

I gave him a GOOD PRICE

Are you back on the game?

 

[Nancy]

MAYBE HE’S THE ONE

No, he was moving in with his boyfriend and I was putting together a Sky package for him. When I asked him about his data usage on a mobile, he said he mainly used it for STREAMING PORN

 

[Nancy]

Are you back on the game?

No dear I work for Sky and was putting together a new bundle for him!

 

[Rita]

No dear I work for Sky and was putting together a new bundle for him!

Oh. Everyone loves a GOOD BUNDLE, Mary.

 

[Soldi]

Omg we have electricity again

It was off for nearly an HOUR, so traumatic loves

 

[Nancy]

Oh. Everyone loves a GOOD BUNDLE, Mary.

And I make my chats lots of FUN as well. I say things like “let me get my MAGIC WAND out and see what amazing deals i can conjure up for you” and “let’s see what I can pull out from my WIZARD’S SLEEVE”

 

[Nancy]

Omg we have electricity again

It was off for nearly an HOUR, so traumatic loves

WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

 

[Rita]

Omg we have electricity again

It was off for nearly an HOUR, so traumatic loves

So happy for you bbz.

 

[Tisch]

And I make my chats lots of FUN as well. I say things like “let me get my MAGIC WAND out and see what amazing deals i can conjure up for you” and “let’s see what I can pull out from my WIZARD’S SLEEVE”

I bet you also tell people you'll 'POP IT IN AN EMAIL TO YOU" as well.

 

[Rita]

And I make my chats lots of FUN as well. I say things like “let me get my MAGIC WAND out and see what amazing deals i can conjure up for you” and “let’s see what I can pull out from my WIZARD’S SLEEVE”

All the clients must LOVE you.

 

[octophone]

I mean I wouldn’t mind but having a shit in the dark is no fun.

Imagine you're on Taskmaster, that'll put the fun back into it.

 

[Lucille]

How did you wipe Soldi, did have to keep sniffing the toilet paper till it smelled clean?

 

[octophone]

Omg we have electricity again

It was off for nearly an HOUR, so traumatic loves

Oh. Well, I hope you didn't shit up the entire place in the meantime.