Phillip Schofield's Career DEAD? 🤷‍♀️ The Castaway Years

[Nancy]

All he needs is a black headscarf and he'd be the spit of LOLA from EASTENDERS

 

[Zu]

That SUPERSTAR PANEL needs a bit of work I mean FUCKING HELL

Also I see that Kim Woodburn will be popping in to have her buttons pushed and say exactly the same things as usual

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Something tells me, that it won't be quite as SENSATIONAL, seeing as he's turned up in a grey hoodie.

Maybe he's just ready to nip to the nearest gym, for an intense blast of cardio.

 

[Kratz]

Oh it’s already being linked to ITV’s ‘Woke Agenda!’

 

[Zu]

I stand by what I said earlier about the importance of opening one’s ears to both sides (no deplatforming or cancelling allowed in Haus Zu thank you very much) but I think the novelty of GB News is already wearing off

The MORALISING!

 

[Kratz]

Also I see that Kim Woodburn will be popping in to have her buttons pushed and say exactly the same things as usual

She’s SO stupid

 

[dmlaw]

It’s almost as if everyone remotely associated with GB News are a collection of awful vicious cunts.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

That Vicar is such a prick.

Imagine thinking Rees-Mogg is a selling point.

 

[Zu]

She’s SO stupid

Oh how could you. Emotional intelligence and self-awareness at a PREMIUM!

 

[Kratz]

Who is Belinda de Lucy? Sounds like a Page 3 STUNNA

 

[Zu]

Belinda certainly knows how to choose a fashionable blouse

 

[Zu]

Oh do get on with the Eamonn interview! Mind you, he’s so slender that I can barely see him when he’s on screen

 

[Nancy]

Oh do get on with the Eamonn interview! Mind you, he’s so slender that I can barely see him when he’s on screen

Apparently, he's only visible on a 60 inch screen or larger.

 

[Kratz]

HANG ON

Is that JIM MCDONALD?!

 

[Zu]

Oh here we fucking go. Here comes Kim

 

[Zu]

That UKIP woman’s lampshade is wonky

So COMMON!

 

[Zu]

I bet the “Coronation Street monsters” included BABS KNOX

 

[Kratz]

Kim Woodburne really is a moron

 

[Kratz]

OH KIM

‘That little bitch’

She’s really awful

 

[Zu]

Does Rebecca Jane not have a surname?

 

[Halli]

I''ve just put it on for the first time ever - Jim McDonald? very random!

 

[Lucille]

Any scintillating deets about the young boy’s MIM or do I need to start considering HOBBIES?!?

 

[Zu]

OH KIM

‘That little bitch’

She’s really awful

Exactly the same speech as last time. They could have saved on the £2.50 appearance fee and played a recording

 

[Halli]

Bombshell interview!

 

[Zu]

Any scintillating deets about the young boys MIM or do I need to start considering HOBBIES?!?

HOBBIES DEFINITELY!

 

[Zu]

Bombshell interview!

COMING UP LATER

We could all be DEAD by then

 

[Lucille]

OH KIM

‘That little bitch’

Not watching but assuming she’s referring to Madame HOLMES here?

 

[PercyPig]

COMING UP LATER

We could all be DEAD by then

A FURNITUE SHOP BASED IN PONTYPRIID CANT BELIVE THEIR LUCK with all these extra viewers

 

[Zu]

Oh for God’s sake the constant promo for their other programmes. OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Can’t they get any advertising? Surely WETHERSPOONS would consider it?

 

[Zu]

I’m developing quite a strong dislike of Dan Wootton

 

[PercyPig]

This isn’t a good angle OR lighting for Dan.

 

[Zu]

This isn’t a good angle OR lighting for Dan.

Curtain’s not helping

 

[Star]

Has he STILL not been on? I've just watched all of Eastenders

 

[Zu]

I don’t think that describing someone as a “scumbag” really adds to a conversation. Also the artificial SOTTO VOCE SYMPATHY from Miss Wootton is making me feel sick

 

[Kratz]

Curtain’s not helping

‘I told her the only thing she’d look good in was a body bag’

 

[Zu]

Has he STILL not been on? I've just watched all of Eastenders

STILL WAITING

There’s been lots for us to gripe about though

 

[Kratz]

I bet there’s BOB ALL in this interview

 

[Zu]

It can’t just be me who’s rapidly losing interest. Who gives a flying fuck what Miss Trim has to say about things? (Says he in a rapid volte-face )

 

[Tisch]

Spoiler: NOF

Can we NOT

 

[Zu]

I bet there’s BOB ALL in this interview

PANSY PHIL VERY EVIL AND HOLLY ONCE FORGOT TO ORDER ME A COFFEE ON PURPOSE