RANDOM THINGS YOU HATE

[Zu]

I'd love to read the @Zu review of SNIFFIES, which is probably where half of the so called fab guys have decamped to nowadays.

Oh God it’s more of the same but lacking the 1997 design elements

 

[Lucille]

I’m so genuinely AGOG at the grimness of those FAB GUYS reviews I don’t know where to begin!

 

[Lucille]

MITHERING for my KNICKERS is going to haunt poor Lucy for quite some time I feel.

 

[Lucille]

The way I would absolutely NOT have sex with anyone if they were able to post a PUBLIC REVIEW after!

 

[Lucille]

“Lucy’s backdoor was DISAPPOINTINGLY MUDDY, and the FARFALLE PASTA SALAD served was SHOCKINGLY LOW END. Kept pausing in the middle to reset the silverware of her SYLVANIAN FAMILIES”

 

[Zu]

The way I would absolutely NOT have sex with anyone if they were able to post a PUBLIC REVIEW after!

Apparently the reviewed participant has to APPROVE it for PUBLICAZIONE

BUT QUITE

 

[Zu]

“Lucy’s backdoor was DISAPPOINTINGLY MUDDY, and the FARFALLE PASTA SALAD served was SHOCKINGLY LOW END. Kept pausing in the middle to reset the silverware of her SYLVANIAN FAMILIES”

“Was so sickened by the COMMON BOWS. Lucy tried to make up for it by doing handstands in her exciting fashions but there’s only so much you can do with a PETER PAN COLLAR and MUSTARD LEOTARD and it didn’t really INSPIRE A FISTING. Also the place was crawling with MICE AND SLUGS.”

 

[Lucille]

Love the LIZZY LINE! So snazzy and modern! I get it once every 3 months from Stratford to Tottenham Court Road and it’s a DREAM!

 

[Zu]

Love the LIZZY LINE! So snazzy and modern! I get it once every 3 months from Stratford to Tottenham Court Road and it’s a DREAM!

It’s also very SMOOTH. It practically GLIDES!

 

[Lucille]

I often describe it as feeling like being in a MODERN EUROPEAN CITY, which is not the feeling one gets in most of London’s dilapidated Victorian infrastructure!

 

[Zu]

I often describe it as feeling like being in a MODERN EUROPEAN CITY, which is not the feeling one gets in most of London’s dilapidated Victorian infrastructure!

Quite! I glid all the way from Stratford to Paddington the other week and ALMOST WEPT at the efficiency and time-savings!

 

[COB]

Quick transit to and from Slough also a boon for many, I'm sure

 

[Zu]

Quick transit to and from Slough also a boon for many, I'm sure

Also READING and ROMFORD

 

[Zu]

Well I say …

Oh and also MARYLAND I’M TOLD

 

[Soldi]

The way I would absolutely NOT have sex with anyone if they were able to post a PUBLIC REVIEW after!

 

[GNL]

The way I would absolutely NOT have sex with anyone if they were able to post a PUBLIC REVIEW after!

How else are you supposed to get PULL QUOTES for the promotional artwork?

 

[Zu]

Well I say …

Oh and also MARYLAND I’M TOLD

The home of the cookies, that vile carpeted sauna and also our very own @Madíson

 

[Lucille]

Do we need a thread for the incredibly grim sounding SNIFFIES? Is it only available on the DARK WEB?!?

 

[Zu]

Do we need a thread for the incredibly grim sounding SNIFFIES? Is it only available on the DARK WEB?!?

It does look squalid and I’m squalided out by my recent return to (and departure from) the red hot and very sexy FAB GUYS

 

[Lucille]

Really quite shocking footage of Zu’s recent FABGUYS SOIRÉE.

 

[Lucille]

Mercifully the pasta salad is out of shot.

 

[Eddie]

Urinals

More often than not, men who use the urinals don't wash their hands.

 

[Lucille]

It’s just a bit of PISS Eddie!

 

[Eddie]

This is why I kick the doors open to leave public toilets instead of using my hands.

 

[Lucille]

Not all of us have LEGS Eddie.

 

[Eddie]

Not all of us have LEGS Eddie.

If you're ok with a bit of cross contamination in your food, go for it!

 

[Zu]

I carry LATEX GLOVES in my handbag at all times (together with my must have LIP GLOSS) to enable me to open toilet doors without fear of catching dangerous diseases or ENGAGING WITH LIFE

 

[Eddie]

Men are such FILTHY OAFS.

 

[COB]

True

 

[Zu]

-

 

[ZenGiraffe]

I just piss directly onto my hands. Save water, save the planet.

 

[SystemAddict]

IF you need it. There are people I know that will go out of their way to take it in a convoluted weird way, when the regular tube takes half as long.

I read this as a FAB GUYS review.

 

[Zu]

I just piss directly onto my hands. Save water, save the planet.

Yes, me too. I lick off any splosh and dry my hands on the cubicle door

Also why dirty the toilet itself and waste water with the flush when you can piss up the walls and door?

 

[Jocasta Clun]

The idea that I might have to live without WILKOS

 

[Zu]

The idea that I might have to live without WILKOS

Oh darling I know. Where am I supposed to get my snatch out now? I’ve already been banned from Liberty

 

[Zu]

Anyone got themselves some fresh and tasty goods on SNIFFIES?

 

[Jocasta Clun]

Apparently you can buy 12.75kg bags of BIRD SEED in THE RANGE so I have adjusted my MOURNING DRESS to the usual garb and JAUNTY AIR

 

[jivafox]

People who whinge about the CAR PARKING SITUATION anywhere.

 

[Lucille]

EXCESSIVE garment care labels. Yes I’m talking to you Uniqlo whose shirts come with a small NOVEL sewn into the inside.

 

[Zu]

EXCESSIVE garment care labels. Yes I’m talking to you Uniqlo whose shirts come with a small NOVEL sewn into the inside.

I always find their shirts to be too long but I have a VERY TINY TORSO (pictured left)