Saturday has to call out the emergency locksmith

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My friends have just invited me to go to the Trafford Centre and I don't know how to politely say that I'd rather die than spend time there on a SATURDAY.
 
My friends have just invited me to go to the Trafford Centre and I don't know how to politely say that I'd rather die than spend time there on a SATURDAY.

I find that "I'd rather gouge out my own eyes with a frozen teaspoon" usually gets the point across. :D
 
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How are wedding photographers so fucking expensive?

Definitely keen on an ice cream van :D
 
How are wedding photographers so fucking expensive?

Definitely keen on an ice cream van :D

Spawn went for a cheaper photographer and has regretted it ever since. The photographer was forty-five minutes late so missed most of the "getting ready" stuff, she took some alright photos but the vast majority were no better than an amateur would take on a half-decent camera, it took six weeks for spawn to get raw digital versions of the photos and, nine months later, she still hasn't received the USB drive with the finished product on. She'd actually paid them in full during lockdown'20 but the first date never went ahead so when it was moved to 2022 they made her pay another £360 because "prices had gone up".

An ice-cream van sounds like a brilliant idea.
 
How are wedding photographers so fucking expensive?

Definitely keen on an ice cream van :D
Everything is expensive when you mention wedding. It's ridiculous!

Also if you have an ice cream van, I'm bringing fudge crumbs for all the Moopy guys and gals.
 
Spawn went for a cheaper photographer and has regretted it ever since. The photographer was forty-five minutes late so missed most of the "getting ready" stuff, she took some alright photos but the vast majority were no better than an amateur would take on a half-decent camera, it took six weeks for spawn to get raw digital versions of the photos and, nine months later, she still hasn't received the USB drive with the finished product on. She'd actually paid them in full during lockdown'20 but the first date never went ahead so when it was moved to 2022 they made her pay another £360 because "prices had gone up".

An ice-cream van sounds like a brilliant idea.
Sorry to hear her experience wasn't great, but on the averse to this our photographer, while expensive, was brilliant. Photos lovely, he captured moments of the day where the sun looked good and moved us around accordingly and we got the photos straightaway on a usb presented in a little box with his branding.

We booked him for 2020 as well and he relocated to Somerset over lockdown yet still honoured his Essex bookings which he really didn't have to. I didn't even know he'd made such a long journey to get there till I overheard him casually mentioning it to my dad. (Otherwise I'd have recommended him in a heartbeat Ag)
 
Spawn went for a cheaper photographer and has regretted it ever since. The photographer was forty-five minutes late so missed most of the "getting ready" stuff, she took some alright photos but the vast majority were no better than an amateur would take on a half-decent camera, it took six weeks for spawn to get raw digital versions of the photos and, nine months later, she still hasn't received the USB drive with the finished product on. She'd actually paid them in full during lockdown'20 but the first date never went ahead so when it was moved to 2022 they made her pay another £360 because "prices had gone up".

An ice-cream van sounds like a brilliant idea.
We only want the ceremony and group shots at the venue. We don't want getting ready or any of the party. Everything else can easily be covered by smartphones. I don't need photos of me drunk dancing.

I've been quoted £500 for a couple of hours and almost £2k for the whole day. Fuck off!
 
We're also gonna get a load of cheap garden games for outside. Who doesn't want a go on a SPACE HOPPER after proesecco.
 

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