Saturday tried to log onto Twitter at work

I have a joyous gin hangover and we're off to crazy golf with children.
 
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My work has never allowed Twitter. Oddly they do now allow YouTube though.
 
We have Twitter. And Facebook. Anything even slightly resembling a file sharing website is out though, including external email accounts.
 
Turned out we've actually been busy today.

I just wanted twitter so I could describe Laurence Fox as "Edge Sheeran" but it's probs been done and why amplify the useless Tory cunt?
 
I ran my fastest 5k this morning since 2015 and I’m over the fucking moon about it. Don’t get me wrong, still slow- 29:30, but first time I’ve beat 30 minutes in 5 years (when I ran my PB of 25:36- one day I’m going to get that bastard) and 1.5 minutes quicker than I’ve run since my comeback. I’ve been trying so hard to get back to running for about six months and this feels like a major breakthrough- I’m so happy.

Celebrated with a quick dip in the sea and some porridge. I know how to live, Moopy.
 
Hi Moopy. I have spent the morning getting my hair, make up and nails done (it’s a hard life) to try and make myself look human again after being struck down with the plague before I head out for the day.

nail-polish-light-skin-tone.png
 
OMG MY DREADFUL DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOURS ARE MOVING OUT!

I could cry with joy. I’m hoping that it’s because of us, but also they’re clearly a pair of PRIZE CUNTS as given the likely notice period, it means when they phoned the council on us, they already knew they were leaving.

Still, FREEDOM!
 
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