Sir Keir Starmer makes TEARFUL ADMISSION in EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

[Penelope]

"I just CAN'T STOP EATING THONGS!" weeps the three-time winner of GQ's Most Useless Heterosexual of the Year award to an impassive Susanne Whatsherface on Good Morning Britain. Michael Fabricant being LINED UP FOR COMMENT

 

[Joseph]

Cilla Black to perform THONG SONG with the local children’s choir from BEYOND THE GRAVE in his honor

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Sir Keith Sturmer faces confidence vote after SEX SCANDAL with ANGELU MURKEL

 

[Lucille]

Sir KEITH’S TEETH taste of BEEF from ar Cilla’s oxo scented QUEEF during BRIEF liaison in LEITH sans SHEATH.

 

[GNL]

Kemi Badenoch spotted filming a piece to camera in the lingerie section of her local M&S wearing a hard hat and hi-vis.

 

[funky]

Sir KEITH’S TEETH taste of BEEF from ar Cilla’s oxo scented QUEEF during BRIEF liaison in LEITH sans SHEATH.

Good GRIEF!

 

[Penelope]

NAR: Keir Starmer shows off curves as he stuns in latest photos on Shame of Britain Awards catwalk