Speculate Wildly About Enya (8 Viewers)

[Agneeta]

Enya has slept with Rachel Reeves

Strap on sales EXPLODE in LUXEMBOURG

 

[Bypass]

Enya poos into condoms and puts them in the freezer to use on herself later

 

[Bypass]

Enyas got a fish in the oven

 

[Bypass]

Enyas got nits

 

[Bypass]

Enya was born in a wheelchair

 

[Bypass]

Enya was born with pierced nipples

 

[Bypass]

Enya has ran out of batteries

 

[Bypass]

Enya can lactate on demand

 

[Bypass]

Enyas name at birth was Cyril

 

[Agneeta]

Enya poos into condoms and puts them in the freezer to use on herself later

Her iglooing antics are notorious

 

[Agneeta]

Enya thought Princess Diana (a big fan of Enya) was a pathetic cunt.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya would invite Diana over for tea (and an exclusive Christmas party with karaoke to all Di's favourite songs) if she was still alive today.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya has planned table decorations for Christmas in the castle

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya supposes she does similar synth music to the maybe slightly less well-remembered 80s band Ph.D. (late lead singer Jim Diamond ) and visually wasn't dissimilar to Paul King, could've passed as his sister (or co-hosted MTV)

Spoiler: Reminded of them from this Spotify mix

I only really know one song from each so far (I Won't Let You Down, and Love And Pride)

 

[Agneeta]

Enya is glad Jim Diamond is dead although admits masturbating to I Won't Let You Down.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya is considering a house tour of her best rooms in Manderley knowing that people outside of TikTok (but thanks to a TikTok and her niblings ) are getting a glimpse of her quaint courtyard and dining room as of 2½ years ago (hasn't changed all that much, except the Christmas decorations).

 

[Agneeta]

Enya is trying the "Try Not to Wank Challenge". Sadly she failed after catching a rerun of the Tweenies.

 

[Shirley]

Enya has been explaining herself to the Garda after an ill-advised quip about organ trafficking

 

[Agneeta]

She's just shat out several body organs at Dublin airport. Fourteen injured and six dead (all feeble gays)

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya has rather been singing romantic French songs whilst watching the moon from her window.

 

[Shirley]

Enya has been explaining herself to the Garda after an ill-advised quip about organ trafficking

She was just trying to move her BONTEMPI to her SHEPHERD'S HUT so she could PLAY IT UNDER THE STARS

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya sometimes wishes Pinterest existed 40 years ago so she could've sold merch like bags with carabiners on, like Pinkpantheress is doing and fittingly ask "fancy some more?"

 

[Agneeta]

She wishes PornHub existed forty years ago. She has a whole wing full of porno mags, she can't stand to get rid of.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya wishes so many sites had existed 40 years ago. Vinted to get rid of the Clannad gear would've helped.

 

[Bypass]

Enyas application for Sudanese citizenship was rejected.

Enya feels nothing

 

[Bypass]

Enya has exhumed Britany Murphy

 

[Bypass]

Enya is in talks to represent Khazakstan as their debut Eurovision entrant

 

[Bypass]

Enya once stuck a chocolate finger up Moira Stewarts arse.

 

[Bypass]

Enya once has sex on a market stall, whilst a tramp watched

 

[Agneeta]

Enya once had sex with a tramp while a one band man played beside her.

To my surprise I actually once witnessed this (although it was just two tramps, not Enya).

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya feels nothing

Enya feels everything and nothing and has felt/not felt this way since birth.

 

[Shoat]

Enya feels nothing but the scrotums of opossums.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya is hoping the Spotify Wrapped stats for her will be almost as good (if not better) than in 2021

 

[Agneeta]

Enya expects her Spotify Unwrapped to be full of Donald Trump speeches.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Spotify Unwrapped

*Wrapped

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya herself hasn't used her Spotify enough to have a Wrapped for her listening, just the artist stats.
What would be mind-blowing is if it prompts her social media pages (e.g. Twitter/'X') to come alive with something of this nature.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya was mind-blown to learn this:

(She has been rehearsing some Cheeky Girls songs, of course )

 

[Shoat]

Enya dreams daily of Donald Trump being unwrapped

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has died

 

[Bypass]

Enyas corpse has prolapsed