Speculate Wildly About Enya (3 Viewers)

[Agneeta]

Enya is thinking of becoming an agony cunt.

 

[Agneeta]

You know former poster and arbiter of everything good and proper Christian would have hated this topic. I don't miss him at all (I must credit dub for such an excellent quote he was brave enough to post about me after I left. Your bravery will noted in life and beyond.)

 

[Bypass]

Enya woke up this morning and chose CRACK

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya is watching Songs of Praise

Enya has taped over Songs of Praise

and was briefly thinking of how Claire McCollum (who interviewed her on the show back in 2016) has barely aged.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya was laughing at this article from nearly 20 years ago

 

[Agneeta]

Enya can't get her tree out of her.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya is demanding that all guests to her castle show hole and/or slit.

 

[Bypass]

Enya has the name Mavis tatooed on her vag. She doesn't know a Mavis and doesn't remember getting it done

 

[Bypass]

Enya prank calls the parents of missing kids

 

[Bypass]

Enya gave birth to Janet Jackson

 

[Bypass]

Enya can play the bassoon with her fanny

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has launched a new a podcast "Things That Hate Gay People"

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has been ranking her favourite paedophiles.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya thinks flamboyant men should be glued to a windmill.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya launched her a bucket of her own shit at a Liam Payne waxwork in Great Yarmouth.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya is hoping for the complete takeover of the far right in 2026. "time to crush the woke libtards" she said while cooking with toddlers.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has just sacked her chef Madeline McCann.

 

[Bypass]

Enyas favourite ways to relax include racism and feeding badgers meth

 

[Bypass]

When asked for her opinion on Fred and Rose West Enya responded by saying "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

[Bypass]

Enya became a priest for nefarious reasons

 

[Bypass]

Enya got a job as a santa in a shopping center but was fired for turning up in BDSM gear

 

[Bypass]

Enya might be pyromaniac

 

[Agneeta]

Enya gave birth to a baby without realising, assuming it was last night's curry. Oh how she laughed.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya is interested the Hong Kong elections, so she can do her highly offensive Chinese person impression.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has been listening to "Winter's Tale" by David Essex and has chosen to send him anthrax.

 

[Bypass]

Enyas google.search history over the last 24 hours:

Caged hens
CAked hens
Kate bush
Will somone know if I unblock them?
How long to boil Leo Sayer for?
Priest requirements
Nipple piercers Donegal
Meth app
Why do Chinese smell?

 

[Bypass]

Enya has rickets

 

[Agneeta]

Enya believes Chris de Burgh is an example to ALL MEN.

 

[Bypass]

Enya might have aids

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has stolen Adam Ricket's pet ox.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya is interested in early Elton John's back catalogue. When she heard Rocket Man she joked "right up his bumhole amiright?"

 

[Bypass]

The general opinion of Enya amongst her neighbours is she is "a dirty uncooth woman"

 

[Bypass]

Enya has sold her foot

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has just found her old FILOFAX for 1988. It reads

Jan 18th - send money to IRA
Feb 5th - steal from Comic Relief funds
Feb 14th - send Valentine’s card to Colin Pitchfork
Mar 1st - send death threats to Eddie The Eagle Edwards
Mar 6th - send smoke bomb to Pete Waterman
Mar 10th - provoke avalanche in Switzerland targeting Prince Charles

A gap (later revealed to be prison time)

Nov 28th - perform Orinico fucking Flows AGAIN
Dec 5th - just a drug dealers phone number

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya still doesn't get why Orinoco Flow is misspelled by so many so-called fans.
Dyslexia is no excuse.
She'd rather them spell Rob Dickins wrong, at least it would seem more proper.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya is considering a cover of Walking In The Air, but with those alternate lyrics

Spoiler: Apparently a Scouts version but I heard it in primary school haha

 

[Shirley]

Enya has let her subscription to Hazell Dean's OnlyFans lapse

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya also wishes Mothercare was still an independent shop. Not for the baby clothes, but for the talking trees. ♡

(I remember the trees and tree lifts in the Mothercare in the city centre near me the shop I felt most devastated about it rebranding with ELC in 2009, then closing a few years later )

 

[Agneeta]

That's a tree Enya would like to put up herself.

 

[disneyteletubby]

I was caught out the last time putting up a tree was mentioned here