Speculate Wildly About Enya (7 Viewers)

[disneyteletubby]

Enya is honoured to have outlived the once iconic shop Mothercare. ♡ If it wasn't for her being born in Dore, Ireland and not Surrey, England, she'd have had the first baby clothes from there.

(Not that she'd necessarily to be born in Surrey. By coincidence, the Surrey girl in The Frog Prince is called Jenny, and it's also set in 1961. )

 

[Bypass]

Enya can lactate on demand

 

[Bypass]

Enya cheats at Jenga

 

[Bypass]

Enyas favourite breakfast food is veal

 

[Bypass]

Enya has a very large clitoris due to steriod abuse.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya can break your arm via hypnosis.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya is surprised at how many women in the media under 45 are/were openly on about perimenopause (Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Motsi Mabuse, Davina McCall, even Dani Harmer aka Tracy Beaker. Probably loads more). Of course, Enya herself was all done by the first few years of this century, but Beaker probably has her beat.
Enya's now contemplating (or it's being recited in her dreams ) the idea that unmarried childless women have it harder in the end, because more consistent blood loss, brittle bone risk, and bloody society.

 

[disneyteletubby]

However, Enya has never broken a bone (unless a skull fracture counts).


(I've never used the skull emoji before, at least not in the typical Gen Z way. )

 

[Bypass]

Enya doesn´t care for incest

 

[Bypass]

Enya has the word "Lebensraum" tatooed in serif font on her taint.

 

[Bypass]

Enya is Sia

 

[Bypass]

Enya sleeps in nothing but a jock strap and a BONNET

 

[Bypass]

Enya lent Linda Robson 20 quid in 1993

 

[Bypass]

Enya sat fire to the postman this morning

 

[Bypass]

Enya owns Lisbon

 

[Bypass]

Enya has spent her morning on Penis comparison websites.

 

[Bypass]

Enya is in a foul mood this morning. Her hemorrhoids are the size of kiwis and her beagles stolen her FAGS

 

[Bypass]

Enyas google search history today:

Are ox agressive?
How to clam ox?
How to tell if someone knows if you´ve blocked them
are katseye kpop?
hemroid treatments donegal
Best way to hide smell
best way to hide scent from deer
is it illegal to drive after bottle of vokda?

 

[disneyteletubby]

Here's my interpretation of Enya's search history today (in no particular order)

cheeky girls
imagine karaoke
John Lennon
google 2025 us media
rosanna crothers opening hours
strictly semi finalists
best gifts for teen nieces
taurus 2026 predictions

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya was watching this Google 2025 thing and liked how it began with a guy who went to sail away with a cat!

Music was good, but it didn't sit right when the only tragedies they talked about were of the LA fires and the loss of some right-wing US guy.

 

[Agneeta]

I've had to check and it's actually

Cheeky nandos shooting enya
How to pretend to not be racist
John lennon naked beating up a woman
Infowars
Roseanne was right about Jews
Men's semis
Teen girls
Fake death horoscopes

 

[disneyteletubby]

By the way, Rosanna Crothers is (or at least was in the 90s) her local beauty salon.
Enya still calls the Guinot Hydradermie facial a Cathiodermie.

 

[Bypass]

Enya has a child up her sleeve

 

[Bypass]

Enya has eaten a tub of sudacrem

 

[Bypass]

Enyas been picking at her lips

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya tried that Shark Cryoglow mask (something she pinched from her younger Millenial nieces ) and found it too heavy and inconsiderate of her face shape.

 

[Bypass]

Enyas been barred from The Duck and Minge for her Bruce Willis impression.

It´s an impression of Bruce Willis....recently

 

[Bypass]

Enyas middle name is Clarence

 

[Bypass]

Enya has two sets of testicles

 

[Bypass]

Enya considers haberdashery a fools errand

 

[Bypass]

Enya thinks Karen Carpenter just needed a burger

 

[Bypass]

Enya cums strawberry jam

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya's laughing at this wannabe


only wishing it were that eastly for herself.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya has opened an eatery EXCLUSIVELY on JustEat. Every tenth dish has rat poison.

 

[Agneeta]

Enya loves tits.

 

[Bypass]

Enya was asked to leave a fancy dress party due to her offensive costume - her squinty eyed impersonation of fictional flamboyant Asian entertainer "Elton Wong" did not go down well.

 

[Bypass]

Enya was a member of Boyz II Men for several weeks in 1992

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya's wondering what "wee Daniel" as they call him is doing on Loose Women.

Talking about a night out with Cliff Richard is seemingly a talking point.

 

[disneyteletubby]

Enya realised it was something about deciding to close his fanclub of 40 years because of the prevalence of social media.
Enya sympathises, but had she made such a decision (or even started a fanclub herself) she'd seem like a right eejit.

 

[Bypass]

Enya has one hole for everything