The Life and Times of Ruth Langsford (1 Viewer)

Glamorous? Yes.
Comfortable? Duh.
Upside down salad? Already made tomorrow's, but no peeking.
Affordable? Who cares, just use Eamon's card like I do.

 
Girlies. You wanna see Ruth drip? BRAT summer is over she declares to Claire, her PA holding her phone, so get ready for the Upside Down Salad Fall.

 
She's not much older than I am. I'd be mortified pushing that about. I also couldn't take the equal trauma of Ruth unfollowing me on her excellent socials profiles.

The "ruthless" pun above: brilliant!
 
Poor Ruth needs to get out more:



I mean, where's the commentary explaining how she likes her yolks facing up even though she admits it doesn't really matter and her amazon exclusive salad dressing shortage scares? I'm worried.
 
Upside down salad, upside down marriage and now the upside down fry up!

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Keeping her options open (although as an aside, I don't think a jar of Options would last long in the Langsford stairlift-free abode).
 
It will undoubtably save Rooth precious time to enjoy being horny on the way to “pic” up her parents.
 
Ruth has been clear on the apps that she wants high flyers and not low rollers (a turn of phrase the D Mail have been going to town with), so reading that her grindr was off to the airport, whether picking up parents or stealing luggage from arrivals, was a bigger turn on than an upside down salad and clearly labelled salad dressing bottle. She loves a good drizzle regardless.
 
Here is Ruth spontaneously recreating a meal she totally had on a holiday she totally went on with every single ingredient totally from Tesco:

 
It's all gravy wiv Woof. Linda Bellingham might not approve though:

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I wonder how much Ruth is raking in with these blatant sponsored endorsements.
 
Snaps and Peach Schnapps for Ruth finding time in between plugging her QVC lines, not thinking about Eamon and resisting eating anything else until dinner to be a girl's girl no matter what.

 
The Upside Down Salad is back!



So there you go. She'll do a couple of rice cakes too. Although she might not because she's trying to lay off the carbs a bit.
 
Neck ribbed for everyone except Eamonm's pleasure:



For a second I thought the song was actually a Ruth original. Anyway, she'd love for you all (except Eamonn) to join her on QVC. I need to tune in to one of these - they look essential.
 
I have never held any strong opinions on Ruth Langsford beyond the whiff of fun-for-ITV

But I truly admire Gala's dedication into making her a thing. I shall celebrate by having the most innovative lunch that I'm sure Ruth would approve of - baked potato with unsalted butter perhaps?

Can we add Eamon Holmes EVIL falling off a stairlift to the Mopsy banner?
 
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Probably more #teamwherethecamerasare than properly #teamruth (has she even tried an Upside Down Salad?) Dame Lizzie Cundy bravely poses for a rare instagram story without a bikini for some R&R (Ruth and Rylan).

 
Wait, is Lizzie Cundy genuinely in with the (C-list) celebrity crowd?

I always assumed she was just the UK's much less fun version of Phoebe Price
 
Ruth is too much of a girl's girl to let Closer try to tarnish her post-split glow-up. Presumably because she's on the cover of Woman & Home magazine (the pun must have had the LW glam squad in stitches when Ruth told them whilst snorting lettuce from her Upside Down salad) this week instead.

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