The Life and Times of Ruth Langsford

[straightorbroken]

New week, new upside down salad update.

Just to confirm: RUTH'S NEW UPSIDE DOWN SALAD VIDEO IS NOW LIVE!

 

[Shoat]

I do like her skipping into work singing and shouting at her bewildered colleagues about upside down salads, and then forcing the poor admin girls to film her throwing olives all over the office

She is definitely THAT workmate

 

[Rita]

I do love an olive.

 

[straightorbroken]

I'll bet she doesn't even bat an eyelid when ta-da-ing camera woman gets her own meal deal out with a drum roll.

 

[straightorbroken]

This was actually on TV.

 

[lolly]

Yet Steph's Packed Lunch had to die

 

[Shoat]

Just wait until Ruth discovers the advanced technology of cheese graters or pepper grinders

 

[straightorbroken]

Can't wait for Roof making use of her QVC business woman experience tonight on BBC. I hope she remembered her Upside Down salad this morning.

 

[lolly]

I got excited and thought she was replacing Sara Davies on Dragons' Den then.

 

[Shoat]

Given Ruth was WOWED by squirty plastic bottles, I fear she might not be discerning enough for Dragon's Den, and she'll quickly not be able to afford olives in her upside down salads

 

[lolly]

I'd like to see Deborah Meaden take her on over sustainability.

 

[Rita]

Ruth is living her best life since she split with that troll.

 

[straightorbroken]

16 minutes. I've not even seen the Apprentice. Ruth IS the moment of course.

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh I can't stand this host. At least this rubbish gay is bound to be a Ruthenian.

 

[straightorbroken]

Oh she's selling her range already. What a pro.

 

[straightorbroken]

Ruth's hair is giving 90s Leeza Gibbons. Another Channel 5 throwback. What an iconic initial run they had.

 

[straightorbroken]

This fired guy could be the son of Jason Priestly and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Loving the priceless piece of earpiece advice from Queen Ruth here.

 

[straightorbroken]

Well the grandson is fit.

 

[straightorbroken]

Your lives, salads and friendship with Vanessa Feltz might be turned upside down, but your skin care routine doesn't have to be. And it can all be done faster than you can say Nadine Baggot.



Best applied with your eyeliner and broadcast-ready brows still caked apparently.

 

[straightorbroken]

Watch you don't choke on your Upside Down Salads.

 

[straightorbroken]

Girl's girls through and through: Ruth, Liz Cundy and Pat Butcher.

 

[Halli]

Dame Lizzie, to you, SorB

 

[straightorbroken]

Must have been too excited. Middle-Right-Left: Hun Ruth, Dame Liz Cundy and Dr Pam.

 

[lolly]

 

[straightorbroken]

It's his thing. Look at this gruesome threesome:

 

[straightorbroken]

Put down your upside down salads, it's time to get serious. Ruth has put her morals and her salad aside to speak exclusively to the Daily Mail in order to taunt her gammon ex with a meaty spread where she bares all about how she was blindsided and is winning so hard right now that she's even got some bullet-point tips for readers to become just as good at self-promotion as she is. Dame Liz Cundy said to be livid at the exposure for girl's girl Ruth, who doesn't even mention her, and hasn't been seen online for several minutes.

 

[straightorbroken]

Grab a cuppa, treat yourself to a biscuit and let the girls know you won't be accessible for the next hour as Ruth Langsford has decided to lift the lid on not only her upside down salad, but her marriage to, not only Eamonn, but to fame and how she copes when Amazon run out of her favourite low calorie dressing because she can't find it anywhere else. Get ready for some explosive life advice.