The Moopy Moderator Election 2023 - Nominations Thread

Continue Mod Election nominations until December 3rd?


  • Total voters
    23
  • Poll closed .
The Inner Smile thing is incredibly tough because the aggressive posting (particularly on Sunday mornings for some reason :side-eye:) was really starting to overwhelm the forum, but it never quite fell over the line of just being a black and white banning offence, and it became fairly clear that a number of people would have been unhappy if we'd taken that approach. The slowdown was a way to give ourselves - and everyone else - some breathing space. I do tend to agree that as a long term solution, it probably isn't the most graceful, or fair. But it does keep happening.

To be completely honest, we were also challenged by the fact that @Ag was just constantly goading him and riling him up. There's a double standard there that we're all aware of, and we've always struggled with threading that needle.
If elected as mod I'd remove myself from any decisions regarding Inner Smile. I accept my involvement and have already stepped back from virtually all interactions with him.
 
I still think he’s a Black Swan-esque split personality of another poster

Spying Latoya Jackson GIF
 
Is it possible for me to do it without being responsible for moving threads and the like? Basically, I’m good at putting out fires, but not with nerd admin. :disco:

I think after this election there should be enough coverage that the day to day admin is as big a job as you want to make it. Most requests get picked up by somebody relatively quickly anyway. I spend a lot of time doing ad-hoc nerd admin, but that's just because I'm a nerd. I doubt it would take much time out of your day to day.
 
Is it possible for me to do it without being responsible for moving threads and the like? Basically, I’m good at putting out fires, but not with nerd admin. :disco:
I said in the first post that we're also looking for people who may not have as much time for post and thread stuff but will provide valuable perspective. So I wouldn't let the "nerd" stuff put you off.
 
Is it possible for me to do it without being responsible for moving threads and the like? Basically, I’m good at putting out fires, but not with nerd admin. :disco:
YES. I think it would be great if we had mod(s) who are focused on resolving disputes and if that means you don't need to bother with the adminy stuff, then so be it.
 

I didn't respond to this until now because it involves other (non-mod) parties and I didn't want to drag them into it without permission. However I've spoken to them now so here goes.

As exciting as it may sound, the Mod forum is really not some den of intrigue where we sit and slag other posters off for shits and giggles. It is 90% boring but necessary admin and 10% dealing with Moopy dramas. However, when things do flare up we obviously do express our opinions when we debate how we want to respond, as we don't necessarily always agree on all things as a group.

On one such occasion earlier this year, there was a kick-off over this thread, instigated by Rita. This was immediately following the issue that led to Herserenehighness leaving, and had obviously caused a lot of upset to him and @Suomi, both of whom I'm very close to.

In the course of debating how to respond to it, I used some words that were probably not constructive or entirely fair. Another mod at the time called me out and we had a discussion about it. At the time it didn't end terribly well and there were some hurt feelings, but we've since had a private discussion this week and I feel we're both in a better place.

For transparency, I'll post what I said as related directly to Rita. While I stand by my overall position on what played out in Rowan Tree's thread, I am happy to apologise for calling her a Karen. That was not a constructive contribution to the debate, and it has since been pointed out to me that using that term has sexist connotations which the other mod at the time found upsetting. I wouldn't use it again. I also accept that I may have judged Rita's reactions too harshly in light of what had happened at the time with HSH. I apologise for that too.

Here's the posts. If this affects your confidence in me as a mod I have to own that, and I do. Only posting my contributions, but you should be able to infer the context.

I’m stone cold sober and Rita is making a complete fool of herself.

I'm sorry she's having a hard time, but given the events of the past few days, the way she's taking advantage of that discourse to centre herself is just prime Karen behaviour.

On reflection, calling her a Karen probably wasn't a constructive addition to this discourse and I apologise for that, but I'm afraid I stand by my view that in this case Rita is 100% in the wrong.

But I'm going to take a step back for a while as it's clear we're all a bit raw at the moment.

Let me try to articulate my view on this, as I fear things are getting heated.

As an OG-poster, it's very important to me that Moopy be an open and welcoming place for everyone who uses it respectfully. But with that said, it is - and always has been - primarily a gay safe space. That's something very close to my heart, as it was literally the first and most significant gay community I found when I was on my own coming out journey back in the dark ages.

I hope we can all agree that Rowan's original post was completely innocent and simply aimed at an assumed audience of gay men. For a straight white woman to come into the thread all guns blazing, because that one thread did not cater specifically to her, does not sit will with me at all. There are literally thousands of other discussions she can get involved in. Imagine if it was Indie or Buttertart trying to shut that discussion down because - I dunno - they didn't appreciate being associated with gay kink terms?

So if this had kicked off in a complete bubble, I'd still find Rita's behaviour distasteful and her complaints completely without merit (IMO).

However, the fact that she's apparently done this to try to draw a link between herself not being included in a poll about gay male subcultures and HSH feeling the need to exit the forum because of racial insensitivity, just leaves an enormously bad taste in my mouth. When I called her a Karen, I was referring to my understanding of the term, which is when privileged CIS white women demand that all discussions are centred around their own desires (in this case, an extremely petty one in my view) at the expense of actual minorities.

It did not occur to me that of course the word Karen is probably misappropriated all the time now for sexist dickheads to condescend to women who 'get a bit too uppity' and I can see now ******** why you were upset that I used the word. I sincerely apologise for that, and I will not use the term again. That is a genuine learning experience for me, and I'm happy to admit I got it wrong.

On the other hand, I do not accept that Rita was right to act the way she did, and if Rowan is made to feel forced into apologising when he did absolutely nothing wrong I will be very unhappy.
 
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I was unaware of the thread but think “instigated by Rita” might not be the most eloquent way of putting it. We encourage people to speak up about something that bothers them and that’s what she did. I think it of course got out of hand but to me it read as if she was being dismissed and a bit rounded on. On another site I read that a certain pop star “was straight pop for straight people” as an insult and that was seen as ok, imagine if it had been said the other way round. I always prefer the Moopy edge but not the dismissiveness of someone we know is not a sensitive flower generally.
 
I was unaware of the thread but think “instigated by Rita” might not be the most eloquent way of putting it. We encourage people to speak up about something that bothers them and that’s what she did. I think it of course got out of hand but to me it read as if she was being dismissed and a bit rounded on. On another site I read that a certain pop star “was straight pop for straight people” as an insult and that was seen as ok, imagine if it had been said the other way round. I always prefer the Moopy edge but not the dismissiveness of someone we know is not a sensitive flower generally.

That's fair. I didn't mean instigated as a pejorative there, I was just trying to articulate that it was Rita's involvement in the thread which led to it being escalated to something requiring discussion in the mod forum.
 
That's fair. I didn't mean instigated as a pejorative there, I was just trying to articulate that it was Rita's involvement in the thread which led to it being escalated to something requiring discussion in the mod forum.
Fair enough, I could just picture that word being interpreted as inflammatory due to the nature of texted/typed speech.
 
I think just as how Zen and Indie make it clear that Kate is really valuable as admin even though they do the techy stuff, there absolutely can be a role for mods who may not be around so much to do the thread moving and splitting etc.

I'm firmly VOTE MISS BEV if you're up for fire fighting only - even more so as it looks like we're getting a good response to cover the thread admin.
 
I think just as how Zen and Indie make it clear that Kate is really valuable as admin even though they do the techy stuff, there absolutely can be a role for mods who may not be around so much to do the thread moving and splitting etc.

I'm firmly VOTE MISS BEV if you're up for fire fighting only - even more so as it looks like we're getting a good response to cover the thread admin.
Absolutely in favour of @Beverley as the conflict resolution specialist.
 
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I didn't respond to this until now because it involves other (non-mod) parties and I didn't want to drag them into it without permission. However I've spoken to them now so here goes.

As exciting as it may sound, the Mod forum is really not some den of intrigue where we sit and slag other posters off for shits and giggles. It is 90% boring but necessary admin and 10% dealing with Moopy dramas. However, when things do flare up we obviously do express our opinions when we debate how we want to respond, as we don't necessarily always agree on all things as a group.

On one such occasion earlier this year, there was a kick-off over this thread, instigated by Rita. This was immediately following the issue that led to Herserenehighness leaving, and had obviously caused a lot of upset to him and @Suomi, both of whom I'm very close to.

In the course of debating how to respond to it, I used some words that were probably not constructive or entirely fair. Another mod at the time called me out and we had a discussion about it. At the time it didn't end terribly well and there were some hurt feelings, but we've since had a private discussion this week and I feel we're both in a better place.

For transparency, I'll post what I said as related directly to Rita. While I stand by my overall position on what played out in Rowan Tree's thread, I am happy to apologise for calling her a Karen. That was not a constructive contribution to the debate, and it has since been pointed out to me that using that term has sexist connotations which the other mod at the time found upsetting. I wouldn't use it again. I also accept that I may have judged Rita's reactions too harshly in light of what had happened at the time with HSH. I apologise for that too.

Here's the posts. If this affects your confidence in me as a mod I have to own that, and I do. Only posting my contributions, but you should be able to infer the context.

It was quite obviously you and I am not surprised you would express a negative opinion of me when I have called you out before and you have said you don’t like me. VERY SNAKEY though, and I would appreciate if you have any future issues with me that it was not in the mod forum which is only viewable to a select few and you take it up with me.

Moving forward would it be unfair for me to ask you to take a back seat if any instance does occur with me in the future? You have said before that you don’t like me but that you would always be fair towards me and that clearly is not the case. Although you may have had some valid points (the timing wasn’t the best considering what was going on at the time was terribly insensitive) BUT name calling, and not seeing my point of view whatsoever isn’t really fair on me as a poster if you carry on as moderator.
 
It was quite obviously you and I am not surprised you would express a negative opinion of me when I have called you out before and you have said you don’t like me. VERY SNAKEY though, and I would appreciate if you have any future issues with me that it was not in the mod forum which is only viewable to a select few and you take it up with me.
I feel like I should step in to clarify something here. I received a complaint about that thread and your behaviour in it. I was out drinking and copied the message I received into the mod forum for others to see and action as I was INDISPOSED due to INTOXICATION. VoR was not the only person who replied, and he wasn't being snakey. It was part of a group discussion on what the appropriate response to you and the thread was.

This is normal and necessary mod behaviour. VoR did not randomly decide to start a conversation behind your back, so it is in this context vors messages should be read.
 
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In the interests of modmin transparency I'm happy to admit that I am the non-mod involved in the conversation with VoR. I was mod at that point in time (nine months ago) and my resignation didn't happen until two months after that discussion. @VoR and I had discussions by PM about it and as far as I'm concerned it's all over and done with. He has apologised several times about it and I told him I was happy for him to post my replies too but he chose to leave them out to save me any distress because I did get rather upset.
 

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