Tuesday CANCELLED

[floppet]

I'm also a fan of latex pillows. Have been using Dunlopillo's Super Comfort latex pillows for the last forty years. They're more expensive than other pillows (about £50 each when I last bought them) but I'm happy to pay more because they're brilliant. They also don't lose shape or bounce when you wash them.

 

[Christian]

My wonderful cleaner bought me new pillows a few weeks ago and they were genuinely AWFUL

As in actually PAINFUL

 

[Phoenix]

Why would your cleaner buy your pillows?

 

[Zu]

He means SERVANT

 

[Christian]

Why would your cleaner buy your pillows?

Because I told her how badly I’d been sleeping I guess.

 

[Phoenix]

(This is at Zu not Christian and his sleeping problems)

 

[SDF]

How much do you pay your cleaner?!

also who has a cleaner?

 

[Christian]

Why would your cleaner buy your pillows?

Well THAT TOO

 

[SDF]

(No judgment, I’d love one)

 

[Phoenix]

A cleaner and someone to do laundry for me is the first thing I would get if I could afford it.

 

[Zu]

A friend of mine is always droning on about how she lives HAND TO MOUTH which is blatantly absolute nonsense and strangely SHE has a cleaner

 

[Zu]

£12.50 an hour apparently

 

[Lucille]

Some of us would rather STARVE than SCRUB THE TUB and BLEACH THE BOG.

 

[Zu]

Admittedly I’m tempted as I do have a propensity for laziness which can all too easily result in squalor. £12.50 an hour feels a bit stingy though

 

[Christian]

I’m feeling really rotten now.

 

[Christian]

But obviously NOT REALLY.

 

[Zu]

Oh don’t tell us that you pay her £8.21

Barely enough for a few tins and some stamps to send HELP ME postcards back to Croatia

 

[Lucille]

I pay £13.50, presumably Christian throws the poor girl a sack full of pennies at the end of the day, and still expects her to run his errands to JOHN LEWIS.

 

[Zu]

 

[Christian]

My cleaner needs to get a Moopy account very soon!

 

[Pipo]

also who has a cleaner?

must be a foreign thing?

 

[Zu]

@Christian being suspiciously elusive about the hourly rate

I hope the poor love at least helps herself to a bag of Pom Bears from Christian’s pantry in between attempts to hammer off the crud in the lav and nipping to Harrods for continental quilts

 

[Pipo]

fuck hourly rates, I pay her a flat amount of worthless PESOS

 

[win_the_game]

My cleaner needs to get a Moopy account very soon!

Is this the Eastern European HOUSEBOY who wears short shorts? Or do we have a new cleaner these days?

 

[Lucille]

If you’re FUCKING the HOUSEBOY on top of not paying a LIVING WAGE then that’s really GROTTY.

 

[SDF]

The pillows suggest he still is fucking the houseboy

 

[Zu]

Is this the Eastern European HOUSEBOY who wears short shorts? Or do we have a new cleaner these days?

! @Christian obviously our very own in-lounge PETER CHRISTOPHERSON

What a DIRTY PERVERT

 

[Zu]

If you’re FUCKING the HOUSEBOY on top of not paying a LIVING WAGE then that’s really GROTTY.

He gets £2.75 a week AND STAMPS!

 

[win_the_game]

I don’t think we ever had confirmation of fucking. Maybe that’s why he bypassed SDF’s question about payment for services rendered.

 

[Phoenix]

Maybe the pillows were meant to be bad so he would set him free.

 

[Zu]

I’m quite confused by the original mention of HER but maybe the sex slave servant and pillow queen is a HER AS IN HIM. @Christian to confirm please as I’m not one for scurrilous gossip

 

[lolly]

I'd love a cleaner. But Mr L won't entertain it. Unfortunately he won't put the Dyson or a duster around either, though.

 

[OutSynk]

I’d LOVE to have a cleaner but at the same time I’d be MORTIFIED that someone had to see how I ACTUALLY live AND clean it up as well.

 

[Lucille]

Mine doesn’t go near the bedroom which is where the true HORROR lies.

 

[Zu]

Oh love is it all empty Heinz tins and spew up the wall?

 

[Phoenix]

I don’t mind tidying up (I like it actually and my bed is always made and everything is in its place) it’s just the scrubbing and dusting of shelves, changing sheets and such that I dispise.

 

[OutSynk]

Oh love is it all empty Heinz tins and spew up the wall?

You can’t actually make out what is there, it’s just a huge pile of garbage.

 

[win_the_game]

Back when I was a trophy boy, we had a cleaner however I usually ended up cleaning before they arrived which defeated the point.
My ex was a dirty bastard and the fear of judgement meant there was no way I could let someone see the real state of things.

 

[Lucille]

Oh love is it all empty Heinz tins and spew up the wall?

I DID HAVE a flat in STOKE NEWINGTON that fitted that description ACTUALLY.

 

[win_the_game]

I’m not getting the greatest impression about your level of hygiene or cleaning habits! I dread to think how often you change your bedlinen etc.

Lucille: “You could get pregnant from my bedsheets.”