Turdsday

Kate said:
You never know, Luce might be a big fan of a juicy steak tartare or carpaccio.
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Oh I am, but would never try it at home. If she wants vegan flat mates then I’m sure there’s a crusty house share in WALTHAMSTOW that’d be right up her street.

I’d actually forgotten about this weird request when later in the visit I was telling her how good the butcher down the road is.
 
For some of us chewing gum on your foot queens that only adds to the experience!
 
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I'm reminded of the time I needed a flat STAT, and had a viewing with these two gays with a box room who really wanted a ~friend~ not just a flatmate.

It was like 2 minutes from my work, so I told them I was super sociable, moved in, and proceeded to talk to them approximately three times in the time I lived there.

In my defense, all they spoke about was the gym, and their ongoing rivalry with a woman in their local WhatsApp group.
 
I always try the shower in any house I’ve ever rented or bought.

I mean, why WOULDN’T you? No one wants a PISSY SHOWER.
 
I mean fair enough TESTING the shower, but not stripping off and giving it a whirl in front of an estate agent.
 
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Ugh just had the call I was expecting but dreading - my TED Talk has been cancelled :(
 
The spawn picked up her wedding dress this afternoon. Because I'm in isolation my mum went with her to collect it and they Facetimed me so I could see her in it. A few tears were shed after I got off the ipad because it all felt so unfair that I couldn't be there with her. She's leaving the dress at my mum's house so they went back there afterwards. I was sorting out a VAT job (piles of papers on the living room carpet) at 6pm when a car pulled up at the front, spawn jumped out and dumped a plastic bag on the front doorstep and then withdrew back to the garden wall so we had the weirdest chat across the garden. She'd brought facecoverings for us, Mr F's is a Star Wars one and mine is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. Oh and three dog toys for Ridley.

After she'd gone I went back into the living room and Ridley had managed to mess up all my piles of paperwork that I'd been sorting for two hours when he ran around like an idiot thinking his sister was coming in to see him. There was also a little bit of excitement wee on some of the purchase invoices.
 
Lucille said:
I actually can’t be ARSED getting laid. Anyone else feeling the same?
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Quite the opposite today, but my hormones are all over the place at the moment. My barista this morning had such a beautiful arse that the day never recovered from it.
 
It depresses me when young people aren't fucking, to be honest.
 
I have had so many plans this week that I have ended up feeling a bit overwhelmed. Going from nought to a hundred maybe wasn’t my best idea. As lovely as it has been catching up with everyone I can not WAIT until Sunday when I can lock the door and shit post on Moopy most of the day.
 
We're meant to be going out for a meal with friends on Sunday. But is that officially allowed now, if we're not from the same household?
 
I think theoretically only 2 households can have dinner but it’s not enforced/completely ignored.
 
I spent pretty much 98% of my late teens and 20s thinking about sex. Even now it's a constant feature in my train of thought. I'm not as bad as I was though.
 
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