United Kingdom 2026: LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - Eins Zwei Drei

I'll rate, you can owe me

  • Total voters
    37
Suomi said:
I actually think the UK should withdraw from Eurovision
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IntoTheDark said:
The irony of 90% of the people on the writing credits for this song being from Scandinavia :D
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Schitts Creek Wow GIF by CBC
 
I actually quite like the backing track and the chorus is catchy but some of those lyrics just make me cringe...
 
Sheena said:
I actually quite like the backing track and the chorus is catchy but some of those lyrics just make me cringe...
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Yep the lyrics really sink it. Otherwise there's a half decent fun for Europe track there. This is very staging dependent, and if I know the BBC the staging should be absolutely top tier.

Sorry the staging will be total dog shit/ inappropriate.
 
Agneeta said:
Yep the lyrics really sink it. Otherwise there's a half decent fun for Europe track there. This is very staging dependent, and if I know the BBC the staging should be absolutely top tier.

Sorry the staging will be total dog shit/ inappropriate.
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Giant Trumpets are exactly what this needs!
 
ZenGiraffe said:
Love the production, HATE his voice. He's exaggerating his accent in the same way people like Kate Nash and Lena do, and it goes right through me.
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Lena was exaggerating AN accent but it certainly wasn't HERS.
 
great instrumental, beautiful instrumental. they should've stolen his USB stick and had somebody write a good song on top.

4/10. will bomb! :disco:
 
4 may be generous. his voice is literally unlistenable
 
Nice instrumental. :disco: But agree, the lyrics/vocals are a turn-off. How was the song chosen?

It reminds me of this:
 
One thing, though, surely this won't be hampered by "OH SHIT, HE CAN'T SING!" like the two entries before Remember Monday were...because he DOESN'T SING.
 
I'd love to like it but unfortunately it's dreadful. Third year in a row of a 0 from the public.
 
The United Kingdom selected its entry for the **Eurovision Song Contest 2026** through an **internal selection process** led by the BBC (the participating broadcaster).

In late October 2025, the BBC announced that Andrew Cartmell (Executive Producer at BBC Studios North and UK Head of Delegation) and David May (UK Eurovision Project Director and a music industry figure, previously involved with Sam Ryder's 2022 entry) would lead an extensive search for the artist and song. This involved collaboration with UK record labels, publishers, songwriters, BBC Music, BBC Introducing, and other industry partners to identify and develop a suitable act.

This approach continued the BBC's recent pattern of internal selections (used consistently since 2020/2021), rather than a public national final like older formats (e.g., *Eurovision: You Decide*). The focus emphasized originality, distinctiveness, authorial control by the artist (including input on composition and production), live performance stability, and a "genuinely original" creator who could deliver visual impact and storytelling—prioritizing something memorable and potentially polarizing over safe broad appeal.

On February 17, 2026, the BBC announced **Look Mum No Computer** (real name Sam Battle, a Kent-based experimental electronic singer-songwriter, YouTuber, and inventor of custom musical instruments) as the UK's representative. The announcement came via *The Scott Mills Breakfast Show* on BBC Radio 2 and BBC Sounds. The song itself, titled **"Eins, zwei, drei"** (German for "one, two, three"), was revealed on March 2, 2026, also on Scott Mills' show, with its first full radio play and music video following on March 6, 2026.

This internal method aimed to craft a bold, unconventional entry aligned with British musical heritage and Eurovision's spectacle, following mixed results in prior years. The UK (as a "Big Five" member) automatically qualifies for the Grand Final in Vienna, Austria (May 2026).
 
The lyrics are certainly something to behold:

[Verse 1]
So sick of doing the whole 9 to 5
I pay my dues, I'm just stayin' alive
And I'm so bored of it, bored of it
Oh, what's the point of it, point of it? (Oh ja, ja, ja)
A paracetamol to quench the pain
The office cubicle has trapped me again
Am I a mouse in a cage, am I
D-d-d-demotivational?

[Interlude]
Ah, if only there was a language that I can count in
That would make me feel better (Oh ja)

[Chorus]
Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni
I'll pay, you can owe me
That'll be a pony
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life
Eins, zwei, drei
Got me feeling okеy-dokey
Eins, zwei, drei
Goodbyе drudgery, hello me
So light you can throw me
Kill at karaoke
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm coming back to life

[Verse 2]
Countin' in English doesn't cut the mustard
So sick of munching roly-poly with custard
I'm so bored with it, bored with it
Oh, what's the point of it, point of it? (Oh ja, ja, ja)
I've always been a fan of aviation
I'm jumpin' on a plane to another nation
And all my pounds, they feel counterfeit
I need some euros to count on it

[Chorus]
Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni
I'll pay, you can owe me
That'll be a pony
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life
Eins, zwei, drei
Got me feeling okey-dokey
Eins, zwei, drei
Goodbye drudgery, hello me
So light you can throw me
Kill at karaoke
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life

[Bridge]
Eins
Zwei
Drei
Eins, zwei
Eins, zwei, drei

[Chorus]
Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni
I'll pay, you can owe me
That'll be a pony
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life
Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty
Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni
I'll pay, you can owe me
That'll be a pony
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life

[Outro]
Eins, zwei, drei
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life
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It’s not bad! Terrible lyrics though.

It’s seems to have gone down a lot better elsewhere :D And we’re now up to ninth favourites :eyes:
 
(Why do songs keep being released early in New Zealand? Is it really that much of a faff to set different release dates for perverted countries with timezones ahead of Europe?)
 
I did think it would be a shame if the UK squandered a great song in a year of MASS ABSENCE and CYNICISM.

Luckily...
 
I don't mind that as much as everyone else but I wish it went off properly at the end.
 
Madison said:
(Why do songs keep being released early in New Zealand? Is it really that much of a faff to set different release dates for perverted countries with timezones ahead of Europe?)
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It's a UN initiative to thank them for the Lord of the Rings films
 
A definite challenger as the nadir of the UK at Eurovision.

Might boycott this year out of NATIONAL SHAME and retrofit it to be about Israel
 
Given the echoes of history, I@m not sure how I feel about the Ein Zwei Drei chorus. Does Oswald Mosley have a writing credit?
 
VoR said:
The “if only there was a language…” bit is so mortifying it makes me physically recoil.
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That is definitely the nadir. At least some of the chorus lyrics are more difficult to make out unless you concentrate.

I can only imagine how certain elements of the media are going to react to the UK entering a song that could be framed as 'bit sick of the rubbish UK, going to Europe to feel much better'.
 
The lyrics ARE terrible, but that's true of almost all Eurovision songs anyway. I will give you that this one doesn't have the excuse of being written by people speaking English as a foreign language.
 
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