What are your Top 5 values?

Suomi

Suomi

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Me and the missus spent a good while talking about this topic, deciding what the specific qualities were about other people that drew us to them as friends/people we like. Essentially, our values! I don’t know if he’s mentioned it, but @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid has two psychology degrees so this is the sort of thing we like to when we’re not eating and crying.

mine, in order:
1. Humour
2. Empathy/Championing Underdogs
3. Kindness
4. Drama
5. Gall

When I looked at my list I tried it out and actually thought it scanned pretty well with people I considered as close friends. It’s probably quite rare to find someone who has all 5, and I think you can have good relationships with people who have just 1 or 2 of the qualities, but maybe really strongly.

SO WHAT ARE YOURS GANG? XXXX
 
@Suomi you are so cute with your MAFS style group task!

What I value seems to be along the lines of:

1. Empathy
2. Beauty (and this can mean aesthetics, ideas, sadness, a great turn of phrase)
3. Self-Awareness
4. Autonomy
5. Wit

A lot of the time I combine my empathy and wit for good, but it also emerges as pure evil in the form of schadenfreude and taking things too far :disco:
 
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The absolute Gay Classics - COMBINED they are root of being socially cute with girls at work, experiencing schadenfreude whilst observing your nemesis get their comeuppance, and finding obscure references highly iconic
 
Is there a list somewhere I can pick from? Or a quiz?
 
To answer the question somewhat seriously, beyond kindness, humour and empathy, I think a degree of emotional intelligence and capacity for introspection is really important for me.

When I think about the longest and deepest friendships in my life, I think they’ve all been people who at one time or another have called me out when they think I’ve behaved poorly in some way. I really value that. Surface level friendships can be great, but I think I’m a more complete person for having close friends who encourage me to be a better version of myself.
 
Obviously:

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The personal qualities I'm drawn to aren't emotional, as such. Or at all, in fact.

1. Humour / willingness to be involved in the joke
2. Geekiness
3. Loyalty
4. Emotionally reserved
5. Lack of filter / thick-skinned
 
Not necessarily in this order, but:

Loyalty
Honesty
Kindness
Empathy
Trustworthy
 
I didn't put truth, cuz I like gossip and backstabbing so they cancel out.
 
I like when people have strong interests, even if they aren't the same as mine
 
To treat others the way I’d want to be treated, to forgive and to try to understand the other side’s point of view. :)
 
Have 21

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity
But know that it alone does not equate to wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine, politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
Are you funny and self-depreciating, like adventure
And have many formed opinions?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush 'cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
In the meantime, I'll live like there's no tomorrow
Are you uninhibited in bed, more than three times a week
Up for being experimental? Are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Are you not addicted?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
 
That reminds me - here are mine:


That I would be good, even if I did nothing
That I would be good, even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing
That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you
 
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