OG Kalavision (No longer taking place)

[Alla]

No.

Donald Trump was the host.

 

[Kate]

Has anyone here ever seen a show called “The Apprentice”?

Are you comparing Kala to Alan Sugar or Donald Trump?

 

[Diddy]

This is not a complaint because I know I'm here for Kalavision, just saying loudly that the ASFM format is great and this eurofan fantasy is rubbish.

!!!

 

[Alla]

!!!

I don't mean Kalavision in particular, this is exactly the same idea that's been done in thousands of forums for decades. I'm sure Kala secretly agrees with me.

 

[Alla]

Are you comparing Kala to Alan Sugar or Donald Trump?

Oh I just got what he meant, you even comment the UK version here. I need some fresh air pronto.

 

[Diddy]

Why did you say “this eurofan fantasy” then? that sounds quite specific


Anyway good luck Kala, you’ve got a stronger stomach than I do:

what is it that everyone is having trouble understanding? I think people are just going over very particular hypotheticals to find loopholes.

I think the intent of the game is pretty clear, isn’t it?

 

[Alla]

Why did you say “this eurofan fantasy” then? that sounds quite specific

Because I can tell you a few Spanish ESC forums where they have been running exactly the same thing for decades. Well with a lot more rules and madness, Kala brought the lightest possible version, thank god.

 

[OutSynk]

this is exactly the same idea that's been done in thousands of forums for decades.

You get around huh.

 

[Tisch]

What is it that everyone is having trouble understanding? I think people are just going over very particular hypotheticals to find loopholes.

I think the intent of the game is pretty clear, isn’t it?

I'm struggling to understand how people are picking their songs and their countries when it almost seems unlikely people are going to get the one they want to represent. And the small picking window as well. If Kala says your country has been picked (likely with so many entries) you need to go away and find a whole new song good enough for you to enter. And what's to say that's not picked either?

Personally I'm struggling to put that much effort into finding a good song if I'm only going to end up disappointed I can't submit it.

 

[Tisch]

I'm not trying to pick holes, I love the idea of a Eurovision-style ASFM. I just have no clue how to pick a song when there's that uncertain aspect.

 

[Alla]

I think you resumed very well the madness of this. But as much as you hate it, you love taking part in this insanity, of course.

 

[Zu]

I'm struggling to understand how people are picking their songs and their countries when it almost seems unlikely people are going to get the one they want to represent.

Well QUITE! I think everyone is just desperate to find a distraction in these ghastly days of the never-ending plague

 

[Zu]

I don't mean Kalavision in particular, this is exactly the same idea that's been done in thousands of forums for decades. I'm sure Kala secretly agrees with me.

! at “I’m sure Kala secretly agrees with me”!

But did they have the GLOSSY EXPENSIVE LOGO? I bet they most certainly DID NOT!

 

[AlgoAlex]

If we have two rounds then break it down a bit.
Only ask 22 people for their choices.
Run the round and knock out the shit. The countries which have been knocked out then become available again for people to pick in round 2?

 

[Lume]

Is KALA alive? I thought that whore DIED!?

 

[Zu]

Anyway, desperate for distraction in these ghastly days of, etc., and feeling 2.5% saner than yesterday, I’m now a YES and back on board the Kalabateau du Grand Prix. Choose wisely lads - don’t want to be subjected to a load of basic tat. Now fetch me a WKD would you @ButterTart mate

 

[ButterTart]

Now fetch me a WKD would you @ButterTart mate

I'll bring two glasses, we might as well make a morning of it.

 

[AlgoAlex]

I'll bring two glasses, we might as well make a morning of it.

GLASSES?!!
Oh or are you mixing with port and making a cheeky Vimto ?

 

[Alla]

Is KALA alive? I thought that whore DIED!?

I'm afraid he will after this.

 

[ButterTart]

Because I can tell you a few Spanish ESC forums where they have been running exactly the same thing for decades. Well with a lot more rules and madness, Kala brought the lightest possible version, thank god.

Digital Spy runs them with a punishing adherence to rules and 500 additional territories within Europe just to accommodate everyone while not straying from the 'Eurovision' theme. I can't imagine how thrilling it must be to wonder whether Anglesey will finally triumph over the Bay of Biscay.

 

[Tisch]

If we have two rounds then break it down a bit.
Only ask 22 people for their choices.
Run the round and knock out the shit. The countries which have been knocked out then become available again for people to pick in round 2?

This seems like the most sensible option.

Following downing a blue WKD of course.

 

[ButterTart]

GLASSES?!!
Oh or are you mixing with port and making a cheeky Vimto ?

Well I wasn't, but I feel a party coming on now. I might even treat everyone to a half-Strongbow-half-blue WKD.

 

[Soldi]

I think either of your options will work fine. And if you tell everyone to be online at a certain time, but someone isn't, then TOUGH TITTIES, they lose their place in the draw until they show up.

But some of us are HEROIC KEY WORKERS SAVING THE WORLD

 

[ButterTart]

This seems like the most sensible option.

Following downing a blue WKD of course.

When this is all over I'm inviting everyone to a Blue WKD reception on the lawn at Tartley Manor. We'll all dance to Lasgo and huff paint thinner, and the ladies can look forward to some enthusiastic but ultimately inconsequential fingering.

 

[Zu]

“Huff”

I’M IN!

 

[Zu]

Clearly scaling the heights of hysteria ALREADY but at the grubby, back of the bins concept of FINGERING in general

GR8 NITE OUT LUV GOT FINGERED

 

[D5K]

I can't wait for the uproar at the song reveal where we find out the person who picked Sweden with choice number 1 has entered seven minutes of joiking.

 

[Tisch]

I can't wait for the uproar at the song reveal where we find out the person who picked Sweden with choice number 1 has entered seven minutes of joiking.

There's going to be lots of SCOFFING all round isnt there? "Well MY entry for the Democratic Republic of Basildon would've represented the natives MUCH better than that shite"

 

[Alla]

I can't think of anything but Kalavision right now, totally obsessed.

 

[ButterTart]

Clearly scaling the heights of hysteria ALREADY but at the grubby, back of the bins concept of FINGERING in general

GR8 NITE OUT LUV GOT FINGERED

Fingering as an art form must really have suffered for the death of provincial nightclubs. Although it tended to cross the line from stimulation to air guitar, it was still very much a part of a terrible night out.

 

[BoysForSeles]

Can we have 9 heats so I only have to listen to the one I’m in?

 

[Diddy]

I'm struggling to understand how people are picking their songs and their countries when it almost seems unlikely people are going to get the one they want to represent. And the small picking window as well. If Kala says your country has been picked (likely with so many entries) you need to go away and find a whole new song good enough for you to enter. And what's to say that's not picked either?

Personally I'm struggling to put that much effort into finding a good song if I'm only going to end up disappointed I can't submit it.

isn’t that the point though? The countries thing IS pointless if people just want to enter the thing they want like ASFM.

I’m struggling to understand WHY people are picking their songs before they get the countries.

the Kalavision is the challenge of doing something to a brief, hopefully turning up something interesting that we wouldn’t have otherwise volunteered.
ASFM (which is still going so you can save your pick for that) is the rule-free showcase for that song you love

 

[Alla]

I'm delighted with everyone choosing their songs already, the fight and drama will be epic.

 

[Generic Account]

isn’t that the point though? The countries thing IS pointless if people just want to enter the thing they want like ASFM.

I’m struggling to understand WHY people are picking their songs before they get the countries.

the Kalavision is the challenge of doing something to a brief, hopefully turning up something interesting that we wouldn’t have otherwise volunteered.
ASFM (which is still going so you can save your pick for that) is the rule-free showcase for that song you love

Because if you find a range of songs from different countries you stand a chance of getting at least one and knowing you have a song you like.

Rather than choosing any country and then having to dig up a song that you might not like. Which will happen anyway if you don't get your country so at least doing the former makes that less likely.

 

[ButterTart]

isn’t that the point though? The countries thing IS pointless if people just want to enter the thing they want like ASFM.

I’m struggling to understand WHY people are picking their songs before they get the countries.

the Kalavision is the challenge of doing something to a brief, hopefully turning up something interesting that we wouldn’t have otherwise volunteered.
ASFM (which is still going so you can save your pick for that) is the rule-free showcase for that song you love

I picked a couple of relatively obscure countries, and I’m focusing on one with the hope of getting it. I have a couple of fallbacks, but I can’t see people clamouring for my Choice A.

 

[Tisch]

I will find it hilarious if we all end up submitting songs from all the STANS and countries like USA end up not represented at all.

 

[Tisch]

isn’t that the point though? The countries thing IS pointless if people just want to enter the thing they want like ASFM.

I’m struggling to understand WHY people are picking their songs before they get the countries.

the Kalavision is the challenge of doing something to a brief, hopefully turning up something interesting that we wouldn’t have otherwise volunteered.
ASFM (which is still going so you can save your pick for that) is the rule-free showcase for that song you love

Yeah this. Hence why I was sort of for the countries being a random draw. But THEN victory will also seem hollow because that person didn't necessarily pick a song they liked but rather one out of necessity.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

 

[OutSynk]

isn’t that the point though? The countries thing IS pointless if people just want to enter the thing they want like ASFM.

I’m struggling to understand WHY people are picking their songs before they get the countries.

the Kalavision is the challenge of doing something to a brief, hopefully turning up something interesting that we wouldn’t have otherwise volunteered.
ASFM (which is still going so you can save your pick for that) is the rule-free showcase for that song you love

And yet you’ve already got Japan on lock because no one else on Moopy will be rushing to pick that.

 

[Diddy]

Yeah this. Hence why I was sort of for the countries being a random draw. But THEN victory will also seem hollow because that person didn't necessarily pick a song they liked but rather one out of necessity.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

well then use a random generator like butter tart to choose your countries!

 

[win_the_game]

Ten pages of WHINING and HAIR-SPLITTING. Is this a new record?

We're certaintly turning them into ART FORMS at least.