Why does it look like a sperm with a face?

I thought it was some sort of HOOVER CUM SPEAKER.
Heathcliff did not like the last high pitched bit![]()
The dreaded Moopmeet 2022
And with such a capable, tech savvy government behind this I’m certain there won’t be any old ladies scared into a heart attack by the threat of a drone strike because the alert confused Basingstoke with Basra.Points to whoever gets an EMERGENCY ALERT tomorrow
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About Emergency Alerts
Your mobile phone or tablet may get an emergency alert if there’s a danger to life nearby. Alerts tell you what to do to stay safe.www.gov.uk
And with such a capable, tech savvy government behind this I’m certain there won’t be any old ladies scared into a heart attack by the threat of a drone strike because the alert confused Basingstoke with Basra.
"Telford is now a smoking ruin, where malnourished survivors loot and murder for a tin of beans. Just imagine how much worse it will be after the drone strike.""In fairness, boss, it was the autocorrect that changed Tehran to Telford".
And you didn’t think to share with Moopy ?In January of this year I got my first text alert that there is a pandemic. Very timely

There was another pandemic affecting moopy this weekend: shirtless picturesAnd you didn’t think to share with Moopy ?
Shit i’m getting down Sainsbury’s now to bulk buy toilet roll and flour before they all catch on![]()
Ooohh this is both exciting and terrifying!Points to whoever gets an EMERGENCY ALERT tomorrow
![]()
About Emergency Alerts
Your mobile phone or tablet may get an emergency alert if there’s a danger to life nearby. Alerts tell you what to do to stay safe.www.gov.uk
I think they'll just lace some coke with cyanide to see whether Gove gets an alert on his way to his dealer.I hope the government don't create an emergency to make it more realistic.
"OK, Boris, I've released the leopard. Now let's see if the alert system works properly."
This was my thoughtWhat if they've created it because they know the end of the world is coming![]()
and it would be a very British way to handle it. "A meteor the size of Driffield will be making impact within a mile of your location. Please ensure your windows and doors are firmly closed."Luckily we have tunnels under our building. And I have a lot of wine and tinned food. I'll survive at least a week.This was my thoughtand it would be a very British way to handle it. "A meteor the size of Driffield will be making impact within a mile of your location. Please ensure your windows and doors are firmly closed."
Take a shitload of fudge. It lasts ages and you can use it as currency.Luckily we have tunnels under our building. And I have a lot of wine and tinned food. I'll survive at least a week.
Ooohh good plan!!Take a shitload of fudge. It lasts ages and you can use it as currency.
Who?Oh just noticed an old work friend tagged in a photo by his newish girlfriend and she is friends with @Ag! FACEBOOK SMALL WORLD strikes again.

Would it be possible to put her tray in that spot, and see if she uses it?
HPOTW