Sunday takes a shock lead in Iowa

what a very wholesome thread :disco:

I'm enjoying the last of the post sunset glow on my terrace. it's fucking cold in Amsterdam suddenly, especially at dusk, but so beautiful on days like this. I've never lost the thrill of feeling really insanely lucky to live here. right now I'm thinking about the fact that I don't need to do any freelance work tonight and can put some time aside to just curl up with a book for the first time in a few days. I feel a bit partied out after giving too much energy away socially and I must be getting old because these days I just find self care sundays so lovely.

thank you for coming to my TED Talk
 
Yes, concentrate on self care if you don’t need to work. It’s so fucking important.

This spa weekend has made me realised just how stressed I am right now and how my anxiety really is through the roof. I’ve come back making big plans to address that.
 
I have to say I needed a proper rest after the last 10 days or thereabouts so I took it. I had dinner with some old friends last night but have otherwise just floated about the place, having the odd nap, restringing a guitar and listening to the new Cure album (oh, and shitposting the TOTP thread). Y'know what, I feel good for having done it.
 
octophone said:
I have to say I needed a proper rest after the last 10 days or thereabouts so I took it. I had dinner with some old friends last night but have otherwise just floated about the place, having the odd nap, restringing a guitar and listening to the new Cure album (oh, and shitposting the TOTP thread). Y'know what, I feel good for having done it.
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EXACTLY
 
Can I ask a weird question. How do people know their anxiety is bad?

Like...and bear with me here, I am just permanently on edge, I'm very jumpy, could cry at the drop of a hat, lose my temper quickly, have bad dreams, am constantly stressed, and have regular periods of "what am I doing with my life, why am I here, everyone would be better off without me"....

But I've been like it for so long that to me, it's just who I am, that's just my personality and I just accepted it as normal.

But the more I talk about it to people the more they tell me I have serious issues that I should probably address.

So how do you know it's anxiety and not just your personality 🤔 maybe I'm just a really negative and depressed person :D
 
Also, we've got loose raccoons on the island.

4 escaped from a zoo park last week, 2 have been captured but there's still 2 loose and I really want to find one.

They look cute.
 
The fact that you recognise that something is wrong is crucial here. Your life doesn't have to be like this. I think a talking therapy of some description would be a good start.

(nb - this post is not about raccoons. Thank you.)
 
octophone said:
The fact that you recognise that something is wrong is crucial here. Your life doesn't have to be like this. I think a talking therapy of some description would be a good start.

(nb - this post is not about raccoons. Thank you.)
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My mum thinks I should go for therapy but honestly I just don't know if I want to. I'm not someone who likes talking about feelings to anyone, this is my limit and that's because it's behind a screen.

I feel like holidays are my therapy at the moment. I really don't want to be put on medication.
 
Rachey said:
My mum thinks I should go for therapy but honestly I just don't know if I want to. I'm not someone who likes talking about feelings to anyone, this is my limit and that's because it's behind a screen.

I feel like holidays are my therapy at the moment. I really don't want to be put on medication.
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Beb, therapy does not equal being put on medication.
 
You don’t need medication as a first step. My (psychologist) husband gets very annoyed at this. It should be a last resort.

Talking therapies, yes. But also what do you do to PROPERLY relax? I don’t do enough. I know that. I’ve identified it. I now need to make sure I follow through with doing things to sort that.
 
I did therapy a few years ago and hated it. I felt I could run rings round my therapist.

But I concede it might have just been a shit therapist.
 
Sheena said:
Talking therapies, yes. But also what do you do to PROPERLY relax? I don’t do enough. I know that. I’ve identified it. I now need to make sure I follow through with doing things to sort that.
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I'm my own worst enemy for relaxing. I doom scroll endlessly because I feel like it relaxes me but I know it doesn't.

I'm getting better with reading and that helps. To be honest, even on holiday I don't fully relax but I think that's worse since having the shop.

I genuinely have no idea how to switch off.
 
I had one shit therapist and one very good one and I did crack a few things with the very good one. My overall temperament is much better these days as a result.
 
Rachey said:
I'm my own worst enemy for relaxing. I doom scroll endlessly because I feel like it relaxes me but I know it doesn't.

I'm getting better with reading and that helps. To be honest, even on holiday I don't fully relax but I think that's worse since having the shop.

I genuinely have no idea how to switch off.
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I am guilty of doomscrolling too. It wastes so much time.

I’ve decided to start journaling (to a low extent), to take more time completely off, to switch the damned email off, going back to the gym tomorrow, promising myself to swim in the sea again more than I have been.

There’s lots of ways to switch off. You just need to actively seek them rather than just expecting to feel relaxed.
 
Journalling isn't a bad idea actually, just writing down how I feel each day.

Walking helps me relax. I need to do that more.
 
And yes, owning your own business is absolutely a killer for this.

I’m working so much right now- my big client is basically 7 days a week, 5am to 11pm. I don’t need to cover all of that but I still pay attention to everything that goes on. I’m realising I have to take a step back from that or I’m going to break. Even if it means employing more people and not having as much money because of it. That’s ok.

Moving offices has also been another cause of stress the past few weeks. It’s all got on top of me. Throw in last weekend’s partying (and weird straight bloke incident) and I’ve really fucking struggled.
 
Another thing I found was really good for me when I did it was a sound bath. Did one at a spa in Sweden and loved it. I’ve struggled to get to them often, but they do me a world of good. I think I should probably start something like yoga along those lines too…
 
@Rachey, meds on their own will probably not work for anxiety. They can be useful, but on their own only really paper over the cracks.

Talking therapy is a much better place to start. Medication may be useful alongside it. And talking therapy doesn't have to be as soul baring as you'll frequently see it portrayed on TV for example, particularly for relatively straightforward and low level anxiety or depression. I've done CBT in a classroom setting where you don't need to say a word which has been really useful in terms of getting insight and giving me tools to manage situations.
 
Luckily I don't really drink much now days, just the odd occasion when I see friends.

A couple of years ago I was definitely relying on alcohol too much.
 
Oh I've heard good things about sound baths! I bet the island doesn't have one
 
Does anyone use any anxiety apps?

I have Calm, which I like, but I don’t use I much beyond sleep stories and occasional meditation.
 
lolly said:
@Rachey, meds on their own will probably not work for anxiety. They can be useful, but on their own only really paper over the cracks.

Talking therapy is a much better place to start. Medication may be useful alongside it. And talking therapy doesn't have to be as soul baring as you'll frequently see it portrayed on TV for example, particularly for relatively straightforward and low level anxiety or depression. I've done CBT in a classroom setting where you don't need to say a word which has been really useful in terms of getting insight and giving me tools to manage situations.
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Oh a classroom setting sounds much better! As long as I don't have to stand up and tell the room my problems.
 
Oh and also, anyone do online therapy? I’m tempted by that…
 
lolly said:
@Rachey, meds on their own will probably not work for anxiety. They can be useful, but on their own only really paper over the cracks.

Talking therapy is a much better place to start. Medication may be useful alongside it. And talking therapy doesn't have to be as soul baring as you'll frequently see it portrayed on TV for example, particularly for relatively straightforward and low level anxiety or depression. I've done CBT in a classroom setting where you don't need to say a word which has been really useful in terms of getting insight and giving me tools to manage situations.
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And by saying 'relatively straightforward and low level anxiety or depression', that isn't to underestimate how they can affect you or anyone else; I just mean compared to more complex trauma or mental health issues.
 
Sheena said:
Does anyone use any anxiety apps?

I have Calm, which I like, but I don’t use I much beyond sleep stories and occasional meditation.
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I tried an online meditation a while ago, it worked for about a week while I had a trial that talked me through everything I had to do. Once that stopped I lost all motivation to continue.
 
I’m not a great meditator to be fair. Mr Sheena loves it. I’m just not very good at emptying my brain enough.
 
I've been on mood stabilisers for a few years. Especially good for my anger, but also good for tempering low moods and anxiety.

They're not a CURE ALL. My low moods, especially during winter still pop in to say hi.

Over last winter I had online CBT. It was very effective. The two tricks that worked with me were keeping busy and basically distracting myself with something as soon as the bad thoughts creep in.

Part of the reason I now cook every night, play games in the evening with the husband, and busy myself with housework, exercise, cooking, gardening and reading is committing to this. I've found it remarkably useful combined with medication, as I'm focused and distracted.

I now see post Christmas as diet and Eurovision season, so I'm even finding distraction during that period, whereas before it was just months of NOTHING.

Fully aware these are not effective for everyone and just my own recent experiences. I am 12 years on from my mental breakdown and thankfully making great progress.
 
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I struggle with meditation - I have the same feeling of never quite 'doing it right' because my brain rarely slows down enough to concentrate fully.

But I do find mindfulness a lot better, because that works more with acknowledging what is happening and going with it.
 
I like to chill, but find meditation very difficult. It would be a huge commitment for me to learn it even to the point of being slightly effective. I dabbled with the Buddhist centre a few years ago, but covid came along. Mindfulness and a conscious appreciation for the things I'm experiencing I find more accessible.
 
lolly said:
I struggle with meditation - I have the same feeling of never quite 'doing it right' because my brain rarely slows down enough to concentrate fully.

But I do find mindfulness a lot better, because that works more with acknowledging what is happening and going with it.
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What do you do for mindfulness?
 
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