Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini caught SMOKING WHILE PREGNANT

[Penelope]

Is it true the Xmus Charts were postponed after the tragic Charlotte Church Deoderent MISHAP (6 disgusted) Poor Brave Kulie is FUMMING on Twutter!

The head of the UCC has announced that last week's charts were published late due to the substance 'drugs'

 

[Penelope]

Last week's churts. Mutya-manua has still DOMINATED THE LAND a week ahead of the all-important Christmas number one, to be announced later

01 02 Elton John - Vape Cloud In The Wind / Something About The Way Mu Look Tyanight
02 01 Kimberlu Walsh ft. Faith Uvans - I'll Be Missing (M)U(tya)
03 NE Idi Amin - Wiggle It (Show Feet Remix)
04 05 Pennu Mordaunt - My Hot Hot Sexy Shoulders
05 NE Kylu Minog - XMUS
06 10 Whum! - Lust Christmu
07 09 Jentuna - All Fur Coat (No Knickers)
08 07 Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini - Smoking While Pregnant
09 33 Khua - My Neck, My Sack
10 18 Pennu Mordaunt - The Hot Hot Babes of Bethlehem

 

[GNL]

I just can't stop listening to Pennu Mordaunt's hot, hot tracks.

 

[Suomi]

are you seriously telling me I’ve not gone top ten

 

[ZenGiraffe]

are you seriously telling me I’ve not gone top ten

 

[Tisch]

are you seriously telling me I’ve not gone top ten

You got to... Twenty thruu

 

[Tisch]

I just can't stop listening to Pennu Mordaunt's hot, hot tracks.

The first time a solo female politician has had two Chrustmas top 10's surely! Theresu May must be fuming after coming so close last year

 

[Penelope]

The all-important Christmas #1 has been announced...

 

[Penelope]

...and in a SHOCK TWIST the Noël number one spot has gone to GEORGE MICHAEL after a SHOCK resurgence in dogging across the land!

01 RE George Michael - Outside
02 10 Pennu Mordaunt - The Hot Hot Babes of Bethlehem
03 05 Kylu Minog - XMUS
04 NE Bjürk - Fuck Off And Buy My Original Singles At Christmas
05 03 Idi Amin - Wiggle It (Show Feet Remix)
06 11 Muriah Curie - All I Want For Christmas Is U
07 06 Whum! - Lust Christmu
08 09 Khua - My Neck, My Sack
09 04 Pennu Mordaunt - My Hot Hot Sexy Shoulders
10 NE Kenlu Clarkton - (Cruising) Underneath The Trees

 

[AlgoAlex]

Damn I bet £2 on Pennu

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Damn I bet £2 on Pennu

We didn't STUND UP AND FUGHT hard enough

 

[Penelope]

Here's that festive #1 for all to enjoy

 

[Suomi]

oh ffs

 

[Penelope]

oh ffs

Sorry you didn't even release a single???

 

[Pipo]

I did manage to nag a BOOTLEG version of All I Want For Christmas Is Su

 

[K.C.]

PAYULA!