United Kingdom 2026: LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER - Eins Zwei Drei

I'll rate, you can owe me

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Its the whole, mate your like 40 - whats any of this got to do with your mum?

Or as Judi Dench said to Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal “Your not YOUNG”.
 
I think with good staging (which seems like a possibility) we may well avoid 0, but the song and his voice are actively horrible.
 
It's basically an open secret that he was the third choice, so I'm not sure anyone thinks this is the right track.
 
Liverpool was amazing, so many Liverpool celebs, it was like a Liverpudlian Disneyland. We seem a long way from anything like that happening again. I met some of FGTH, Damien Grant from Brookside, Jedward!
 
GNL said:
Have we not had three in a row? We're beyond help!
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But they were mitigated bombs...everyone liked Mae Muller until we realised she couldn't really perform it well and the host country rarely pulls out a big one anyway, and both Olly and Remember Monday had not terrible jury votes. I agree they were BOMBS but none that were THAT embarrassing.

I still don't see where this is pulling votes from.
 
Few will understand what I'm talking about, but the song and act both have a strong "early 2010s British YouTube" vibe about them that I find deeply off putting. I was not ready to reopen that vault.
 
So we're all belatedly realising that sending TIMMY MALLETT to Eurovision might not be our winning move?
 
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As before - he was our third choice, so I think eyes are wide open this year that this year is just a year to get through and be pleased with whatever ratings it gets from the BBC’s perspective.
 
What's the TEA on the second choice, assuming the first one was the one discounted because of their social media? :ClaudiaPopcorn:
 
If you read our contract for Eurovision there is a very weird clause in it that says should an act have to withdraw due to shitness or previously undiscovered crime they can only be replaced by Bardo performing their follow up single.
 
I think overall song quality wise it’s a step up from last year to be honest.
 
It's irrelevant as a step either way, frankly. It's gonna be a step from 0 to 0 in terms of what anyone normal thinks.
 
What do you reckon you’d do the morning after a nil points? How long before you left the house? Would you lean in and turn up at the next host city and do the gay nightclub discotheque parties or just cut straight to the Deliveroo delivery job?
 
It’s Howard Jones II’s big day today. I wonder how quickly he can get to the airport afterwards - even more speedily that Boy George?
 
I keep thinking about the suspicious ONE JURY POINT we got from Ukraine.

That was absolutely a co-ordinated kindness to save our blushes wasn’t it? The Ukrainian broadcaster and BBC are particularly close, not to mention the wider relationship between the two countries.
 
What, you mean, The Shite Thomas Dolby didn't set the contest alight???
 
The worst part was when he ended up lying on the table about half way through the dreadful table-ography. In the semi he lay down resting his head on his hand in a fairly ordinary pose. In the final he scrambled about uncomfortably like a new born, before being tipped off, when he made an audible "oof" noise.

Absolutely terrible! Amateur hour!
 
Is he double dipping and doing Eurovision again? It would probably not be the worst idea - but he’d need an actual good song again and he doesn’t seem to be able to write any these days.
 
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