Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini caught SMOKING WHILE PREGNANT

Tisch said:
The Cheeky Girls have deleted their Instagram. What could it mean?
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Caught SMOKING outside the Mosque with Cherlu and Baba. Due to apologise on screen, soon :( Issue is no screen wants them.
 
National sex education curriculum cancelled after Cherlu volunteers as live nude model, teaches students how to seduce a Pharaoh with "just a cigarette filter and a prayer shawl."
 
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Egypt set to ban Cherlu after she fired ping pong balls from her slit at the Great Sphinx, causing irreparable damage. Experts say the velocity of objects leaving her hole suggests she may be used in Ukraine in future to combat Russian assaults. A delighted Cherlu is reported as saying "they dunny mind a cheeky fag wiv baby in the Kraine"
 
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Cherlu and Baba BANNED from Aldgate East after refusing to pay tribute to the late, great, Pauline Collins.
 
Cherlu and bubs are quickly losing all freedom of movement, with ANOTHER government putting them a NO ENTRY list :(

They've now been banned from Pennsylvania, after scientists concluded that one of Cherlu's fag breaks started the eternal underground fires of Centralia. Cherlu was sadly unable to prove she wasn't actually alive at the time of 1962 after burning up her birth certificate as rollie paper.
 
In a SHOCK OUTCOME, Cherlu has LOST the number one spot to a dramatic new contender. Latest chart rundown impending
 
That latest chart rundown. AI generated popstar Nadua Oh has cemented a SHOCK comeback with a song driven by an underground TikTok promotional campaign that has seen fans sticking their mims out of car windows to the infectious chorus, dethroning the popular support for Cherlu and Raye's recently passed former husband with a record 740,000 sales in the space of one sultry November Saturday.

01 NE Nadua Oh - Flaps In The Breeze (Slag!)
02 01 Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini - Smoking While Pregnant
03 11 Raye - Where Is My Husband
04 02 Tased Twatlips - Egyptian Homosexual
05 05 Madonna & Elton John - Can You Feel My Cunt Tonight
06 NE Mel Blatt - Zig A Zig Ah, If You Wanna Be My Lover Or Whatever It's Called (John Lewis Advert)
07 NE Lilu Allen - (Who The Fuck Is) Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini
08 NE The Cheeku Girls - Touch My Nan (This Is Remembrance Day)
09 06 Artists For Mutya Buena - Song 4 Mutya (Dying)
10 10 Charlu XOX - Tits Out For Palestine
 
I wonder if this changes the plans of Cher Lluud who had been scheduling an emergency re-release of Cher Lluud by Cher Lluud.

She's still a VERY bitter woman, and wasn't going to let Cherlu's #1 reign go unchallenged.
 
Cherlu and Baba AGOG outside the Mosque as they arent on the Hoopa bill. Cherlu overheard slandering 'Those Appleton Bitches'
 
The latest Robun single is complicating the street team plans of Cher Lluud, Nadua Uh, Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini, and Roru Stewart this week :disco:
 
Roru Stewart rumoured to be on a signing tour with Wayne Ruuney to BOOST SALES.
 
Cherlu trying to be the new Demu Moore but she wet pants expose on stage.
 
not OT: Cherlu & Baba spotted outside Mosque again in Aldgate East. All very sad but apparently there's a comeback plan...
 
Cherlu cited for disorderly misconduct after recreating Flashdance routine at local mall, fans (of Flashdance) furious.
 
Cyndu Luuper rumoured to feature on a remix of Roru Stewart's "My Wet Mouth" adding a series of slurs against Chelru. The remix is set to trigger a series of chain reactions culminating in a new European land war.

However it sounds like a HIT, so WHO CARES?
 
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That rather ALLURING chart rundown, featuring a rather POPULAR orgunic tribute to Mutya Buena after her recent passing from lip surgery. The Cheeku Girls have fallen out of the chart completely after everyone remembered their nan wasn't even alive during the war and was born in 1948, and as such SHOULD NOT BE TOUCHED

01 02 Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini - Smoking While Pregnant
02 01 Nadua Uh - Flaps In The Breeze (Slag!)
03 NE Kimberlu Walsh ft. Faith Uvans - I'll Be Missing (M)U(tya)
04 NE Roru Stewart - My Wet Mouth (Motuv8 Vocal Slam Remix)
05 NE Raye - Where Is My Cousin
06 RE Cher Lluud - Cher Lluud - Cher Lluud
07 03 Raye - Where Is My Husband
08 05 Madonnu & Elton John - Can You Feel My Cunt Tonight
09 09 Artists For Mutya Buena - Song 4 Mutya (Dying)
10 NE Fedde Le Grand - Get Your Tits Out For Aldgate East
 
HOT EXCITING NEW BAND Twix 4 Dippin have STORMED NEWS OUTLETS, throwing single caramel chocolate enrobed fingers at vulnerable music journalists, leading to MASS EXCITEMENT about their brand new single 'Feeding Dogs Chocolate', which is slated to trump Cherlu's recent Flashdance-promoed public outrage Smoking While Pregnant. All eyes on the chart this Sunday...
 
Cherlu rumoured to be announcing the Smoking While Pregnant (Meet Me Behind the Bikesheds) Limited Edition containing exclusive A4 poster and fag ash droppings, but when I asked in HMV they didn't know a THING about it :evil:
 
Breaking: Steps are BACK and releasing their new track "Three Shears For Shaggy" set to drop tomorrow at 3am on Radio Hereford FC.

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Dozens set to be slightly injured, while Cherlu is set to send a FIRE BREATHING DRAGON to destroy all copies.
 
An ADVERT before last night's edition of 'I'M A CELEBRITY FOO BUMP ME OUT OF HERE' for a MYSTERIOUS UPCOMING CHRISTMAS SINGLE 'The Hot Hot Babes of Bethlehem' has got the NATION AFLUTTER over the IDENTITY of the mystery artist behind the HOT HOT SINGLE. Steps, Cherlu and Madonnu reportedly AGOG and AGHAST
 
Cherlu and Baba on the front of the Daily Fail (paper copy AND online!) AGAIN for reportedly injuring La VOIX by putting BANANA SKINS down causing a SLIP IN HEELS. This is so that Cherlu could take her place in BLACKPOOL. To cause further controversy, she had not even organised a babysitter for Baba, and expected production staff at Strictly to organise a crèche! Biggest scandal of the year, according to all sources.
 
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