Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini caught SMOKING WHILE PREGNANT

That OH SO LUSTROUS chart countduwn. Steps sadly only charted at #41 due to a lack of u's in their name, but DID briefly peak at #1 on uTunes, causing approximately seven homusexuals to pass out online

01 26 Twix 4 Dippin - Feeding Dogs Chocolate
02 03 Kimberlu Walsh ft. Faith Uvans - I'll Be Missing (M)U(tya)
03 04 Roru Stewart - My Wet Mouth (Motuv8 Vocal Slam Remix)
04 01 Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini - Smoking While Pregnant
05 02 Nadua Uh - Flaps In The Breeze (Slag!)
06 17 Cardu B ft. Mugan Thuu Stullion - He's Got My Wide Puss (In His Hands)
07 NE Pennu Mordaunt - My Hot Hot Sexy Shoulders
08 09 Artists For Mutya Buena - Song 4 Mutya (Dying)
09 08 Madonnu & Elton John - Can You Feel My Cunt Tonight
10 92 Robun - Dopumine
 
Tisch said:
Why has Twix 4 Dippin suddenly SURGED? Has it gone viral on TukTuk? :shco
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The JOURNALIST ASSAULTING PROMOTION astutely tapped into the current trend for assaults on the free media, and as such went WILD on TukTuk and GB Nuus, while also receiving avid support from online homosexuals with control of office playlists at digital marketing agencies thanks to its glittering production. The Popjustice thread has already reached 94 pages and featured vusilios declaring it the greatest pop song of the last 10 minutes :disco:
 
Not heard that Pennu track. I assume it's the same producer as Roru - Shumumu Bugum.
 
04 01 Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini - Smoking While Pregnant

I have been singing 'Smoking while Pregu' - the non-radio edit
 
Agtifa said:
Not heard that Pennu track. I assume the same producer as Roru - Shumumu Bugum.
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Not the same producer as Roru's track Shumumu Bugum, but Shumumu Bugum IS the producer (doing the work during her free hour a day in Kurdish captivity)
 
Cunthia Erivo has pulled out of all promotion for Wicked 2: For Dipping after Aruana Grande was hospitalised with emphysema, caused by second-hand smoke.
 
The race for Chrustmas number one is on!

According to The Son, the main contenders include a jingle bells remix of Hurt by Johnny Cush, a re-release of Idi Amin's "Wiggle It (Show Feet Remix)" and a rumoured surprise new ballad by Peter Cupaldi and Lewis Cupaldi "Sexy Thighs".

However it's expected Marie Curie "All I Want For Chrustmas is Polonium" or whatever it's called, is expected to chart high again due to streaming.
 
LiveNation cancels Cherlu worlwide tour, citing FIRE HAZARD from her baby's cigarette. The "Smoking While Pregnant" chanteuse is set to lose profits close to 100 MILLION (cents). Baby Cherlu sues LiveNation, citing "I WAS ON SMOKO".
 
News Just in: Cherlu to re-release her hit signal 'Parachute' and promote it by Parachuting from the top of the Angel of the North, with Baba, whilst smoking.
 
The question on everyone's lips: When will CHERLU announce a WURLD TOUR, though? I can't wait to fight the queues of dozens of gays violently refreshing Tucketmaster every 5 minutes.
 
Cherlu INBREEDING TAX EVASION SCANDAL exposed after ROGUE CHAT GPT AI NANNY revealed the singer let her smoking baby breed his GUINEA PIGS WITH THEIR SIBLINGS to declare them as 'LEGAL DEPENDENTS BRED AT A CONSIDERABLE LOSS' on tax forms. Tax Department to release EMERGENCY INBREEDING GUIDELINES FOR TAXPAYERS.
 
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Screw Cherlu. "Can You Feel My Cunt Tonight" is the one SHARTING.
 
Penoëlope said:
An ADVERT before last night's edition of 'I'M A CELEBRITY FOO BUMP ME OUT OF HERE' for a MYSTERIOUS UPCOMING CHRISTMAS SINGLE 'The Hot Hot Babes of Bethlehem' has got the NATION AFLUTTER over the IDENTITY of the mystery artist behind the HOT HOT SINGLE. Steps, Cherlu and Madonnu reportedly AGOG and AGHAST
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In a SHOCK REVEAL this has SHOCKINGLY been revealed to be a PENNU MORDAUNT LAUNCH for the CHRISTMAS NUMBER ONE SPOT
 
After a break for the Budget - which the Offucial Churts Companu objected to (citing the lack of subsudues for struming) - Twix 4 Dippin have been DETHRONED from number one, following Mutya Buena's state funeral

01 02 Kimberlu Walsh ft. Faith Uvans - I'll Be Missing (M)U(tya)
02 NE Elton John - Vape Cloud In The Wind / Something About The Way Mu Look Tyanight
03 08 Artists For Mutya Buena - Song 4 Mutya (Dying)
04 03 Roru Stewart - My Wet Mouth (Motuv8 Vocal Slam Remix)
05 07 Pennu Mordaunt - My Hot Hot Sexy Shoulders
06 01 Twix 4 Dippin - Feeding Dogs Chocolate
07 04 Cherlu Cole-Payne-Tweedy-Fernandez-Versini - Smoking While Pregnant
08 09 Madonnu & Elton John - Can You Feel My Cunt Tonight
09 NE Jentuna - All Fur Coat (No Knickers)
10 28 Whum! - Lust Christmu
 
Cherlu and Baba to perform 'I Got You Babe' at next years BRITS. 'I'm going to put my own spin on it' said the Angle of the Norf.

Rumour has it that Cherlu and Baba will kick off rehearsals with renditions of Britney's 'Everytime' outside Aldgate East Mosque.
 
Tonight thank God it's Ag instead of you said:
The race for Chrustmas number one is on!

According to The Son, the main contenders include a jingle bells remix of Hurt by Johnny Cush, a re-release of Idi Amin's "Wiggle It (Show Feet Remix)" and a rumoured surprise new ballad by Peter Cupaldi and Lewis Cupaldi "Sexy Thighs".

However it's expected Marie Curie "All I Want For Chrustmas is Polonium" or whatever it's called, is expected to chart high again due to streaming.
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Typical. None of the bukmakers faves have charted. Although the Cupaldi track is released next week.
 
Queen Elizubeth's remains to be EXHUMED AND EVICTED as furious public demands URGENT priority for Mutya Buena's corpse. State funeral expected to draw crowds in the HUNDREDS, says British Tourism Authority. "I'm gonna be right up front!" heartbroken Cherlu announces. Queen upgraded to same cemetery as Sarah Harding.
 
Sorry but it will ALWAYS be TOO SOON to mention Sarah Harding in one of these topics.

Have some respect.
 
ROYAL REMAINS REJECTED! Homosexual online fans STORM Sarah Harding cemetery in midnight insurrection, hurling Queen Elizubeth’s coffin into the Thames, declaring the grounds a LIZ-FREE ZONE. National gay emergency declared as public awakened by lisped chants of "TOO SOON"
 
Cherlu and Baba have broken their silence with a stunning and brave interview on the anti-smoking laws that hold our country back, speaking exclusively to Luz Truss' podcast Death to the West.
 
Cherlu is RUMORED to crash BUD Bunny’s Super Bowl LX halftime show by literally rising from the floor on a giant (lit up) FAG like some chaotic queer phoenix.
Meanwhile, a squad of barely-dressed backup dancers will reportedly parade her across the stage before the screens explode into a massive photo of BABA with the message: “Fck Trmp.” :shock::shock:
 
Breaking: Raoul Moat has become a late contender for Xmus no.1. His cover of The Moat Wonderful Time of the Year (Don't Need U's) has set the chattering classes alight and is expected to soar. A rumoured duet with Cherlu is "on the cards".
 
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