DAPHNE AND CELESTE defect to the ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN

[funky]

Hideously decorated and therefore unsellable lesbian hideaway bought in compulsory purchase order to make way for poo chute ring road sold to Daphne & Celeste Holdings Inc for new Ayatollah-themed bingo hall

 

[Sheena]

Hideously decorated and therefore unsellable lesbian last seen fudge packing in Ryde.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Isle of Wight FUDGE SHOP now selling POO FLAVOURED FUDGE.

 

[funky]

Isle of Wight POO SHOP now selling FUDGE FLAVOURED POO

 

[GNL]

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Isle of Wight ANNEXED by Iran.

Geese everywhere BAFFLED

 

[K.C.]

Move over, Kalatollah is here!

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Ayatollah Khamenei bombs the Enya forum.

 

[dmlaw]

Enya bombs the Ayatollah Khamenei forum.

 

[Penelope]

Holly Candy HUMAN TRAFFICKED by MALEVOLENT GOOSE

 

[Penelope]

Hideously decorated and therefore unsellable Kiesza - Hideaway bought in compulsory purchase order in order to make way for new Sonique launch facilities in West Iran

 

[AGinAg (37)]

De'Lacy announces controversial new pact with Iran, in an attempt to combat Sonique's bum bombs.

 

[Penelope]

Daphne launches protest against pooclear proliferation from her asylum in Fort Boyard

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Tina "Cunt" Moore shares a powerfully erotic evening with Ayatollah Khamenei. De'Lacy, Celeste, the baffled goose, Prince Philip, Sonique, Rachey, Enya, Eric West, David Lammy, Natalie Cassidy, Katy Perry, Susan from Guess Who, Adam Lambert, two of the Village People, Samantha Mumba, Tin Tin Out, Brian May, Andrew Cuomo, and Lulu all sign a letter registering their disgust and then form a supergroup highlighting each of their talents equally.

 

[GNL]

The Ayatollah has entered a new phase and we may not see her until next Tuesday.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

The AGOG GAY has entered a LAVENDAR MARRIAGE with Rachey to avoid taxes on the sale of the Kezia hideaway.

 

[Penelope]

Tina "Cunt" Moore shares a powerfully erotic evening with Ayatollah Khamenei. De'Lacy, Celeste, the baffled goose, Prince Philip, Sonique, Rachey, Enya, Eric West, David Lammy, Natalie Cassidy, Katy Perry, Susan from Guess Who, Adam Lambert, two of the Village People, Samantha Mumba, Tin Tin Out, Brian May, Andrew Cuomo, and Lulu all sign letter registering their disgust and then form a supergroup highlighting each of their talents equally.

I hope they cover Perfect Day

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I hope they cover Perfect Day

It's a surprise trip hop cover of Vamos A La Playa.

 

[Shoat]

Ayatollah swiftly responds to charity single threat by ordering the immediate immolation of Heather Small.

"We will learn lessons from the past"

 

[K.C.]

Ayatollah releases his Top 10 Spotify tracks. You won't believe #1!

 

[Penelope]

The ARCHBISHOP OF BJÖRK has offered to MEDIATE following HANS BLIX'S OBJECTIONS to West Iran's SONIQUE INSTALLATIONS

 

[Shoat]

West Iran has expelled all OWLS from its territory, after a Duolingo mispronunciation of "Ayadollar" has resulted in millions of would-be converts pledging allegiance to David Van Day instead.

 

[K.C.]

Bedridden Ayatollah buys shares in Duolingo while mispronouncing "West Iran".

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Eric Bristow confesses "I'm in love with Ayatollah Khamenei and I've always loved him"

 

[Penelope]

Ayatollah Khamenei launches SONIQUE NUCLEAR STRIKES against West from West Iran. "and that's what takes me high!" the chanteuse was heard to bellow, as the ICBMs launched from her rancid poo chute. Casualties have been reported in Cheadle.

 

[Soldi]

Friends fear Ayatollah Khamenei is drinking custard AGAIN.

 

[GNL]

"Death, death to the MDF!" The Ayatollah has declared after the Changing Rooms team gave his palace a surprise makeover.

 

[Tisch]

Ayatollah? I don't even know her?! said Daphne before having her poo chute permanently cut off

 

[Tisch]

Daphne Clarke off Neighbours has been prescribed a NEW KIND OF MEDICINE

 

[Shirley]

Ayatollah Ken Bruce SUMMARILY BEHEADED after admitting attending an underground show by the BANNED 'DAME ENYA EVERAGE'

 

[Joseph]

Ayatollah Hazell Dean releases EXPLOSIVE new single “Whatever I Do (Wherever I Go) *Whomever I Bomb*”

 

[ZenGiraffe]

The Ayatollah has outsourced fiscal policy to Panini SpA

 

[Shirley]

Ayatollah Neil Tennant revealed to be behind decree that the 'Massive Luxury Overdose' album by ARMY OF LOVERS should be played in its ENTIRETY at least twice daily on ISLAMIC STATE RADIO

 

[funky]

Ayatollah Neil Tennant revealed to be “just a publicity front” for the state as the real supreme leader is exclusively revealed as MS RACHEL

GOD HELP US ALL

 

[Tisch]

You wanna take a shot at this AYATOLLAH? You better not MISS!

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Senhit's lesbian wife, the Ayatollah's new finance minister, has been spotted in tears following a failed attempt to CUT STATE MONGE SUBSIDIES

 

[Shirley]

AYATOLLAHS JEREMY and KELLY CLARKSON top the IRANIAN TOP 100 with this HEARTFELT MESSAGE TO DAPHNE AND CELESTE

 

[Penelope]

AYATOLLAH OLIVIA COLMAN announces NEW LINE of BEV & KEV ADVERTS in LATEST OSCARS PUSH

 

[K.C.]

Prince Andrew too honourable not to hang out with Ayatollah

 

[Penelope]

Ayatollah Janft ANNOUNCES EMERGENCY CHARITY SINGLE to raise funds for new Sonique missile installations in West Iran after US launches 'bumker buster' strikes. 'Piss In My Ass' (featuring Sophie Habibis, Cilla Black and Maxine Carr) has gone onsale at Our Price, iTunes and Tidal OUT NOW