The dog had a poorly tummy during the night and left a brown liquid present in the kitchen (thankfully on the lino) so I came down the stairs to an increasing stink that made me start retching before I got to the bottom and made me retch so much for twenty minutes whilst cleaning it up that my nose started to bleed.
Happy Friday!
It sounds awful but the escalating horror of it really tickled me.ME TOO. SO ANGRY.MORNING MOOPY.
I’ve been awake since half 6 for no reason at all.
I refuse to get out of bed till 10 so not sure what I’m meant to do for the next two hours. Yes I’ve already had a wank.

2 Lock Keepers CottagesDoes anyone have a spare £6 million they could give me as the Big Breakfast house is up for sale and I NEED IT.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/propert...XbISZA71-SCSCQjga1bSrBeMuWVkYznnDxDNx28fb60#/
Looks MOISTYUM!
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Does anyone have a spare £6 million they could give me as the Big Breakfast house is up for sale and I NEED IT.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/propert...XbISZA71-SCSCQjga1bSrBeMuWVkYznnDxDNx28fb60#/

YUM!
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Omg my landlord is over and is cleaning out the spare room which the flatmate left in a state and he found a hyperdermic needle, he was a junkie! That explains A LOT. He still hasn’t returned his keys so we’re changing the locks as I don’t really want an ACTUAL MURDERER with a drug addiction having access to my flat. Pray for Lucy!!!
Like this post if ASFM brought you here.Omg my landlord is over and is cleaning out the spare room which the flatmate left in a state and he found a hyperdermic needle, he was a junkie! That explains A LOT. He still hasn’t returned his keys so we’re changing the locks as I don’t really want an ACTUAL MURDERER with a drug addiction having access to my flat. Pray for Lucy!!!
JUNKIE MEANS NEEDLESHang on, I thought YOU were a junkie?
@Lucille what’s the bit about him being a murderer as well? I must have missed that revelation.
He was in the army for 10 years, so he’s KILLED.