Lady Gaga - The Chromatica Era
- Thread starter OutSynk
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Jark
PLUMP and RIPE
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WELL it can't be DENIED - there's been no PROPER pop music for AGES! Thank GOD Gaga finally delivered some proper pop. It's been a rough few years without it!!!
Jark
PLUMP and RIPE
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TRUE!
I'm about to embark on my first listen of this in earphones so let's see how that goes. Live rate incoming!
Jark
PLUMP and RIPE
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OK GIRLS!
Alice has actually grown on me. I low key hated it yesterday. It's still a bit basic and I find the structure annoying - there's no proper second verse, probably because it's so needlessly FUCKING SHORT! that said, it's not a bad opener and some of the delivery does remind me a little of Artpop era Gags, specifically Aura and Venus. So she can have this.
Stupid Love, I maintain, is an excellent Lady Gaga song. It has the best production of anything on this album - it sounds so crisp, fresh and expensive, like a Prada handbag. Unfortunately if you look inside there's nothing but a soiled Chromatica jockstrap (that's a metaphor for the song's lack of proper chorus btw), but whatever - this is a banger, and one of her best vocals ever.
Rain On Me is surely the best song on the album - just a totally transcendent slide of dance-pop which gives me the same rush that poppers gays get from Break Free (I don't do poppers anymore, after an unfortunate nostril-burning incident, and I don't fuck with Break Free either). Let's be honest, this is Ari's song and she totally owns it. I love that Gaga stans her, as we all should.
Free Woman - OK, the bones of this song are excellent, like seriously great. The melodies and vocals are just sublime. There is a truly killer 90s house remix waiting to erupt out of this - it can take its cues from the demo, and push it even further. As for the Kygo-lite tropi-transformation they gave this final version... well, I don't hate it, and I do love the warmth under the verses. It's just that one drop after the first chorus that feels tragic. But the song is so good I can forgive the production. Hooks for days.
Alice has actually grown on me. I low key hated it yesterday. It's still a bit basic and I find the structure annoying - there's no proper second verse, probably because it's so needlessly FUCKING SHORT! that said, it's not a bad opener and some of the delivery does remind me a little of Artpop era Gags, specifically Aura and Venus. So she can have this.
Stupid Love, I maintain, is an excellent Lady Gaga song. It has the best production of anything on this album - it sounds so crisp, fresh and expensive, like a Prada handbag. Unfortunately if you look inside there's nothing but a soiled Chromatica jockstrap (that's a metaphor for the song's lack of proper chorus btw), but whatever - this is a banger, and one of her best vocals ever.
Rain On Me is surely the best song on the album - just a totally transcendent slide of dance-pop which gives me the same rush that poppers gays get from Break Free (I don't do poppers anymore, after an unfortunate nostril-burning incident, and I don't fuck with Break Free either). Let's be honest, this is Ari's song and she totally owns it. I love that Gaga stans her, as we all should.
Free Woman - OK, the bones of this song are excellent, like seriously great. The melodies and vocals are just sublime. There is a truly killer 90s house remix waiting to erupt out of this - it can take its cues from the demo, and push it even further. As for the Kygo-lite tropi-transformation they gave this final version... well, I don't hate it, and I do love the warmth under the verses. It's just that one drop after the first chorus that feels tragic. But the song is so good I can forgive the production. Hooks for days.
Jark
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Fun Tonight - something about this song feels very Lady Gaga. It's almost disconcerting to hear these really sad lyrics being cooed over a generic tropical beat - the song sounds so much like Kygo and Rita's Carry On in places. I'll probably play this enough, but it feels like the album's first warning shot of: "No WEIRD to be found HERE." Very streamlined, very bland, over so soon. A missed opportunity.
911 starts off GREAT. I don't know what "popping a 911" means - am I officially too old or something? I'm only 28 ffs. While this is still a relatively straightforward pop song (and one that peaks a little soon), it still has enough going on in terms of production and hooks to feel simultaneously like Lady Gaga, and Lady Gaga covering an obscure Girls Aloud album track, and I'm here for it. A strong album cut.
Plastic Doll seems to the subject of quite a lot of hate - I've seen many people describing it as the album's lowlight. Stupid bitches. I'm really into the chorus - it's so explosive and simultaneously energetic and sad. There's a lot of sadness radiating from her across this record, even though it's ostensibly a Eurodance album. I wonder if that was intentional? The middle 8 ("where'd YOU get THAT HAT") feels like a hook somebody found on the Star Is Born cutting room floor, and I'm here for it.
Sour Candy is tragic. Who asked for a glorified interlude that swipes the beat from Swish Swish but fails to produce a moment even half as iconic as "PINK FERRAGAMO SLIDERS AWN DECK, SILLY RAP BEEFS JUST GIVE ME MORE CHECKS"? Gaga's "chorus" (?) hook is not bad but she was clearly never in the same place as Blackpink and it shows - their contribution feels like a different song altogether. This one can stay in the bin.
911 starts off GREAT. I don't know what "popping a 911" means - am I officially too old or something? I'm only 28 ffs. While this is still a relatively straightforward pop song (and one that peaks a little soon), it still has enough going on in terms of production and hooks to feel simultaneously like Lady Gaga, and Lady Gaga covering an obscure Girls Aloud album track, and I'm here for it. A strong album cut.
Plastic Doll seems to the subject of quite a lot of hate - I've seen many people describing it as the album's lowlight. Stupid bitches. I'm really into the chorus - it's so explosive and simultaneously energetic and sad. There's a lot of sadness radiating from her across this record, even though it's ostensibly a Eurodance album. I wonder if that was intentional? The middle 8 ("where'd YOU get THAT HAT") feels like a hook somebody found on the Star Is Born cutting room floor, and I'm here for it.
Sour Candy is tragic. Who asked for a glorified interlude that swipes the beat from Swish Swish but fails to produce a moment even half as iconic as "PINK FERRAGAMO SLIDERS AWN DECK, SILLY RAP BEEFS JUST GIVE ME MORE CHECKS"? Gaga's "chorus" (?) hook is not bad but she was clearly never in the same place as Blackpink and it shows - their contribution feels like a different song altogether. This one can stay in the bin.
A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
A lot of these Jark reviews are littered with homophobia and racism.
Iguana
Like beautiful robots dancing alone
LOVING this album on second listen. That's all for now, rate to FOLLOW
Iguana
Like beautiful robots dancing alone
Except to say that her written explanations of the songs when you listen on Spotify are quite helpful to get into what the songs are about (eg Fun Tonight is her talking to herself, "pop a 911" is about her taking psychotic medication)
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OMG I don't get the MISERABLE reviews that LITTERED this thread yesterday 
This is just a bunch of fun nonsense.
Sine From Above is my clear fave, but it's absolutely not a single I don't think on first listen (COULD CHANGE)
Babylon is very fun, I can't wait to see what Madonna thinks of it It's VERY Vogue AND LIke A Prayer mashed together.
Rain On Me is growing to be one of my fave Gaga tracks now too
This is just a bunch of fun nonsense.Sine From Above is my clear fave, but it's absolutely not a single I don't think on first listen (COULD CHANGE)
Babylon is very fun, I can't wait to see what Madonna thinks of it
It's VERY Vogue AND LIke A Prayer mashed together. Rain On Me is growing to be one of my fave Gaga tracks now too
Tisch
DO IT FOR HER
I just injected some CHROMATICA for my morning run. And i have some WORDS!
The first is #yaaaaaaaassss!!
The second is a finger wag
Now I need to lie down. I cried. I died.
The first is #yaaaaaaaassss!!
The second is a finger wag
Now I need to lie down. I cried. I died.
I got banned for a week for (half jokingly) suggesting Gaga should get a Razzie for A Star Is Born. They tore me apart!
Jark
PLUMP and RIPE
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Enigma is perhaps the first track since the opening trio that feels fully and completely like a Lady Gaga song - a total lightning shot, theatrical electro-disco which borrows a little from Bowie and a little from George Michael but could only be L. Gaga herself. I really adore this song, it's bizarre and feel-good and should've been the album's template.
Replay keeps the energy levels stratospheric. Lyrically I find this one impressive - "Every single I day I dig a grave, then I sit inside it wondering if I'll behave." Again this feels like a song about doing mental harm to yourself, so there's clearly a lot being excised on the dancefloor across this record. The way the middle 8 just CHARGES FORWARD into the final chorus in a huge explosion of madness is quite divine.
Sine From Above feels like a Free Woman situation. There is clearly an excellent song here, but it's struggling to escape from the prison of the shitty late '00s EDM production that's been built around it for reasons unknown. That drop at the end of the chorus is simply unforgivable. A real shame, as her voice meshes beautifully with Elton's, and the lyrics and hooks deserve better than this. The outro is great - but feels completely stitched-on afterwards.
1000 Doves - this is is my first listen of this. The segue into it from the Sine outro is quite nice. This one has generic production and another "drop" but it actually works quite nicely, even though this is decidedly more faceless than a Lady Gaga song should be. Not a fave but I wouldn't kick it off the tracklist. The middle 8 is quite lovely. Notice how the 3:35 runtime gives this song room to breathe - the whole album needed that.
From the ruins of Babylon they've actually managed to create a closing moment for the album which has its own identity and (like Enigma) feels like it could or should have been a blueprint for Chromatica's sonic landscape. They actually lean properly into the early 90s here instead of just paying lip service, and the production is fucking divine.
07 Alice
09 Stupid Love
10 Rain On Me
08 Free Woman
07 Fun Tonight
07 911
07 Plastic Doll
04 Sour Candy
09 Enigma
08 Replay
07 Sine From Above
07 1000 Doves
09 Babylon
It's a perfectly fine pop album, even a great one in places (that closing stretch from Enigma to Babylon is clearly the strongest section), just not quite a great Lady Gaga album.
Replay keeps the energy levels stratospheric. Lyrically I find this one impressive - "Every single I day I dig a grave, then I sit inside it wondering if I'll behave." Again this feels like a song about doing mental harm to yourself, so there's clearly a lot being excised on the dancefloor across this record. The way the middle 8 just CHARGES FORWARD into the final chorus in a huge explosion of madness is quite divine.
Sine From Above feels like a Free Woman situation. There is clearly an excellent song here, but it's struggling to escape from the prison of the shitty late '00s EDM production that's been built around it for reasons unknown. That drop at the end of the chorus is simply unforgivable. A real shame, as her voice meshes beautifully with Elton's, and the lyrics and hooks deserve better than this. The outro is great - but feels completely stitched-on afterwards.
1000 Doves - this is is my first listen of this. The segue into it from the Sine outro is quite nice. This one has generic production and another "drop" but it actually works quite nicely, even though this is decidedly more faceless than a Lady Gaga song should be. Not a fave but I wouldn't kick it off the tracklist. The middle 8 is quite lovely. Notice how the 3:35 runtime gives this song room to breathe - the whole album needed that.
From the ruins of Babylon they've actually managed to create a closing moment for the album which has its own identity and (like Enigma) feels like it could or should have been a blueprint for Chromatica's sonic landscape. They actually lean properly into the early 90s here instead of just paying lip service, and the production is fucking divine.
07 Alice
09 Stupid Love
10 Rain On Me
08 Free Woman
07 Fun Tonight
07 911
07 Plastic Doll
04 Sour Candy
09 Enigma
08 Replay
07 Sine From Above
07 1000 Doves
09 Babylon
It's a perfectly fine pop album, even a great one in places (that closing stretch from Enigma to Babylon is clearly the strongest section), just not quite a great Lady Gaga album.
A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
I hope Jark considers his options after that SAD REVIEW!
Loufoque
notorious being
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I love how Gags can never please the entirety of her (potential) fanbase.
The Fame gays are clamouring for basic bops.
The BTW / ARTPOP gays only accept Venus / Aura levels of Baroque-Ga, anything else isn't worthy of her artistic genius.
The Karens want their Million Reasons / Shallows.
And then there's me just stanning every single thing from bops to honky tonk piano ballads, 24/7 365 for 12 years.
The Fame gays are clamouring for basic bops.
The BTW / ARTPOP gays only accept Venus / Aura levels of Baroque-Ga, anything else isn't worthy of her artistic genius.
The Karens want their Million Reasons / Shallows.
And then there's me just stanning every single thing from bops to honky tonk piano ballads, 24/7 365 for 12 years.
A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
I'm just listening now and it sounds like a great POP ALBUM TO ME.
ZenGiraffe
Panini S.p.a.
As a Fame Monster gay, I think my problem was that I was expecting this album to be much weirder than it was, so that first listen coming to terms with what the album actually was. Then afterwards I could enjoy it without those expectations and it has improved each listen since.
Loufoque
notorious being
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09 Alice - Take ME... HOME. Come through 1995.
10 Stupid Love - Play count: 165. Nothin' else I can say
10 Rain On Me - I have completely forgotten about this song, despite stanning it until two days ago.
11 Free Woman - Unlike Ms Jark, I LOVE what they did to the production. Warm and beefy. YAS GAGA.
09 Fun Tonight - She HATES her fans (although who can BLAME HER????), but at least she tells us with a warm bop.
06 911 - the album goes a bit FLAT here for me, but I don't care. Ms Joanne has always been a messy bottom. She arches her back like a champ at times, but sometimes she also shits on your cock.
05 Plastic Doll
08 Sour Candy - generic but we stan for the streams ALONE
13 Enigma - Ms George raised from the DEAD and she is ready to SLAY THE GIRLS! LOVELY!
07 Replay
11 Sine From Above - I need this performed at the piano with Elton dressed like Verka Serduchka at next year's Eurovision, before exploding into the electro-Euro-banger with full choreo
06 1000 Doves - I didn't have time to get to know her yet
16 Babylon - SONG OF LIFE! It reinvents walking. Even Theresa May would serve it ancient city style walking across a stage to this. How do you say BOP IN ARAMAIC????? Even Jesus is bald and beardless in Babylon
10 Stupid Love - Play count: 165. Nothin' else I can say
10 Rain On Me - I have completely forgotten about this song, despite stanning it until two days ago.
11 Free Woman - Unlike Ms Jark, I LOVE what they did to the production. Warm and beefy. YAS GAGA.
09 Fun Tonight - She HATES her fans (although who can BLAME HER????), but at least she tells us with a warm bop.
06 911 - the album goes a bit FLAT here for me, but I don't care. Ms Joanne has always been a messy bottom. She arches her back like a champ at times, but sometimes she also shits on your cock.
05 Plastic Doll
08 Sour Candy - generic but we stan for the streams ALONE
13 Enigma - Ms George raised from the DEAD and she is ready to SLAY THE GIRLS! LOVELY!
07 Replay
11 Sine From Above - I need this performed at the piano with Elton dressed like Verka Serduchka at next year's Eurovision, before exploding into the electro-Euro-banger with full choreo
06 1000 Doves - I didn't have time to get to know her yet
16 Babylon - SONG OF LIFE! It reinvents walking. Even Theresa May would serve it ancient city style walking across a stage to this. How do you say BOP IN ARAMAIC????? Even Jesus is bald and beardless in Babylon
Tisch
DO IT FOR HER
It's exactly what I was expecting. She said long after ASIB was dead she was going back to pure pop and Stupid Love was just that.
I see nothing to complain about. It's just wall to wall BOPS. Nothing more nothing less. I fully expect the WHO to announce soon that it cures Corona
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A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
I listened to that playlist of 90s and 00s dance bangers she put up. I knew exactly what to expect.
Tisch
DO IT FOR HER
ZenGiraffe
Panini S.p.a.
I was going off the other version of the Babylon instrumental that was going about, which I really hope gets a proper release. Though I do love new Babylon.It's exactly what I was expecting. She said long after ASIB was dead she was going back to pure pop and Stupid Love was just that.
I see nothing to complain about. It's just wall to wall BOPS. Nothing more nothing less. I fully expect the WHO to announce soon that it cures Corona
Iguana
Like beautiful robots dancing alone
I'm imagining the songs are all Eurovision entries
joanne
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first listen rate!
07 Alice - if you stan outdated production like i do, it's a good track.
10 Stupid Love - the "heyeahyeah, heyeahyeah" is a career highlight.
10 Rain On Me - i still haven't recovered from this.
10 Free Woman - wow. just wow. i'm speechless.
08 Fun Tonight - the verses are a tad boring but then that godly pre-chorus comes through to save the day.
08 911 - sounds like a fake "unreleased Gaga track" on YouTube, ergo i undecidedly stan.
07 Plastic Doll - great chorus, meh verses.
02 Sour Candy - a K-pop Swish Swish remix? one pandemic at a time, please.
06 Enigma - the Hallucinate-esque pre-chorus built up the momentum so i expected a much crazier chorus. "i-i-i'll be your enigma" is the kind of Gaga lyric that i was hoping she would avoid.
08 Replay - "every single day, yeah, i dig a grave, then i sit inside it wondering if i'll behave" is the kind of Gaga lyric i was hoping she'd serve us.
10 Sine From Above - this is the gayest thing she's done since Gypsy. Elton sounding like a younger RuPaul is what i needed in my life at times like these. after the tired Chromatica II phase, this track resumed the Chromahealing.
09 1000 Doves - ok, we're really back on track. ugh. what a chorus. what a concept. what a voice. what a woman. i'm shaking and crying in the grave that we dug in Chromatica II.
10 Babylon - this is exactly how i wanted this experience to end.
the gays won.
07 Alice - if you stan outdated production like i do, it's a good track.
10 Stupid Love - the "heyeahyeah, heyeahyeah" is a career highlight.
10 Rain On Me - i still haven't recovered from this.
10 Free Woman - wow. just wow. i'm speechless.
08 Fun Tonight - the verses are a tad boring but then that godly pre-chorus comes through to save the day.
08 911 - sounds like a fake "unreleased Gaga track" on YouTube, ergo i undecidedly stan.
07 Plastic Doll - great chorus, meh verses.
02 Sour Candy - a K-pop Swish Swish remix? one pandemic at a time, please.
06 Enigma - the Hallucinate-esque pre-chorus built up the momentum so i expected a much crazier chorus. "i-i-i'll be your enigma" is the kind of Gaga lyric that i was hoping she would avoid.
08 Replay - "every single day, yeah, i dig a grave, then i sit inside it wondering if i'll behave" is the kind of Gaga lyric i was hoping she'd serve us.
10 Sine From Above - this is the gayest thing she's done since Gypsy. Elton sounding like a younger RuPaul is what i needed in my life at times like these. after the tired Chromatica II phase, this track resumed the Chromahealing.
09 1000 Doves - ok, we're really back on track. ugh. what a chorus. what a concept. what a voice. what a woman. i'm shaking and crying in the grave that we dug in Chromatica II.
10 Babylon - this is exactly how i wanted this experience to end.
the gays won.
A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
Honestly reading this back... the gays demand to get what they want, get what they want and then explicitly complain that they've got what they want.
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A
AGinAg (37)
Guest
No!
Beverley
GUESS WHO’S BACK?!
As usual, Jark has the worst takes and should be banned
