Moopy's Greatest Dance Anthems: THE RESULTS SUPERTHREAD

What should we do with the final 50?

  • Let us rate them for a more accurate result, you fucking tyrant!

    Votes: 7 41.2%

  • Just use the results you've already got, you attention seeking cunt!

    Votes: 10 58.8%
  • Total voters
    17
funky said:
Honey I only discovered a few years back, I’m pretty sure thanks to Moopy. It’s sublime

and as good as the acid disco is of the Hercules/Antony ‘Blind’ track is, I hope everyone is familiar with the utter orgasm that is the Frankie Knuckles remix, which is quite possibly the greatest remix of all time. It just takes a very good track into a whole new emotional space



that baseline piano strings combo makes me want to WEEP :disco:
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Oh yeah this is heavenly!
 
funky said:
Doesn’t Pete Heller sample Sister Sledge’s Thinking Of You? Or is it just that the riff is remarkably similar to the sample you mention

I remember it being released just prior to the far superior ‘Makes Me Love You’ by Eclipse the same year, which does sample the Sledge, and they are notably similar tracks


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I read an interview with him, and he doesn't mention Sister Sledge, it's just that one sample as far as he's letting on.
 
Oh GO ON THEN

TWENTY-FIVE points. I feel like the lucky so-and-sos who’ve achieved this really took the words of S Club 7’s ‘Reach’ to heart.



123

Junior Senior – Move Your Feet
2002, Denmark, No 3 smash! The sole Danish representative on this list, and it’s characteristically heartwarming and twee. This was one of the twenty biggest-selling singles in the UK in 2003. It was a simpler time back then. Jesper Mortensen is ‘Junior’, Jeppe Laursen is ‘Senior’, and the vocals are by their producer Thomas Troelsen.


122

Sandy B – Make the World Go Round (Deep Dish mix)
1996, USA, No. 20 smash in 1998! After the tragic death of Sandy A in that houseboat explosion, a world in mourning needed someone to take her place in our shattered hearts. Step forward Sandra Barber. This one was sampled by another song on our list - Camisra’s ‘Let Me Show You’. Apparently, Sandy was in Donnie Brasco!


121

Nicki Minaj – Starships
2012, USA, No 2 smash! Famously hated by its own singer, Starships is nevertheless one of the best selling singles of all time. Nicki Minaj, famous for her poise, elegance and unrelenting cuntiness towards Mariah Carey, is 37 years old! I don’t know how old I thought she was, but that still surprised me. The demo for this was recorded by beloved Melodifestivalen filler character Mohombi.




120

Alison Limerick – Where Love Lives
1990, UK, No. 9 smash in 1996! This was released thrice in the 1990s, with a remixed version in 1996 proving to be the most successful. Alison’s only other claim to fame is being one of the singers on the end credits of Blackadder the Third. Her much anticipated collaboration with Olivia Newton-John, ‘Where Long Live Love Lives’, is due for release in 2023.


119

Beyonce – Green Light (Freemasons Club Mix)

2006, USA, No. 12 smash! This isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of the Freemasons on this list, but it’s the only appearance of Nick Knowles’ beautiful wife Beyonce. Beyonce’s former bandmate and cock-fighting partner Kelly Rowland makes a few appearances of her own in this countdown. Her other former bandmate, Michelle Williams, does not. And never will.


118

Donna Summer – This Time I Know It’s For Real
1989, USA, No. 3 smash! Stock, Aitken & Waterman got their hooks into struggling millionairess Donna in the late 80s, and dragged her screaming into their web of well-choregraphed evil. This proved to be a massive, rejuvenating hit for her, and achieved the ultimate recognition when it became a No. 14 smash! for Kelly Llorenna in 2004. It was also covered by an Australian group called Young Divas, but they’re not from Oldham so who gives a shit?



117

Bicep – Glue
2017, UK, No. 20 smash album! This lot weren’t on my radar at all prior to this rate, but I plan to scuttle away and become obsessed once it’s all over. This is a superb throwback that I can imagine pairs very well with a comedown. Bicep are a duo from Northern Ireland, and the vocals were provided by something called Silkie Carlo. Glue was voted DJ Mag’s track of the year in 2017.


116

Deborah Cox – Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here (Hex Hector Mix)
1998, Canada, No. 55 smash! Deborah Cox – real name Deborah’s Cock – scored a massive hit in America which went completely ignored in RACIST BREXIT SHAME Britain. Our Deb duetted with Whitney Houston on ‘Same Script, Different Cast’ (me neither). Hex Hector is an American DJ who, according to Wikipedia, has remixed every song by a b-list-or-lower female singer in existence.
 
Now we reach the first track on the list to achieve a unique score, with a jaw-dropping TWENTY-SIX! Future generations of wandering minstrels will sing ballads in its honour.


115

Layo & Bushwacka – Love Story vs Finally
2003, UK, No 8 smash! My rediscovery of the season, this. After forgetting about it for years, I’ve been reeled back in by that rich, indulgent production. If this were chocolate, it’d be those little Lindor balls. The vocals here are lifted from ‘Finally’ by Kings of Tomorrow and Julie McKnight. It also samples Nina Simone’s ‘Rags & Old Iron’, and Devo’s ‘Mongoloid.’
For my money this is a deserving top 50 candidate, but I'm guessing people may thought it was just a knock-off of Penis CeCeton's 'Finally' and didn't give it time of day.
 
I enjoy Alison's Malcolm McLaren number and got into Put Your Faith In Me for Livin' Joy related reasons, but can't say her "anthem" really does it for me. I feel like I should like it a lot more as it has some great lines and delivery there.
 
Oof - Alison Limerick, Bicep and Lay-off & Bushwacka criminally low!
 
straightorbroken said:
I enjoy Alison's Malcolm McLaren number and got into Put Your Faith In Me for Livin' Joy related reasons, but can't say her "anthem" really does it for me. I feel like I should like it a lot more as it has some great lines and delivery there.
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I think the beefed up Dancing Divaz edits of this and Make It On My Own which were the hit versions in ‘96 are strong, the original release was a little insipid for my palate.
 
In any other rate, this shower and their unfathomably vast haul of TWENTY-SEVEN points would be sitting pretty at the top of the chart. Sadly, the competition is so fierce that they have to make do with being top 120.

114

StoneBridge feat. Therese – Put ‘em High
2004, Sweden, No. 6 smash! StoneBridge is affable Swedish chap Sten Hallström, notable for dozens of high-profiles mixes. He penned this infectious bop with his great pal Therese. Therese, you may already be aware, competed in Melodifestivalen 1999 under the alias Drömhus. She came fourth, a mere 110 places higher than she managed here.


113

Alice Deejay – Back in My Life
1999, Netherlands, No 4 smash! It’s hard not to feel a bit sorry for Back in My Life. It’s a perfectly excellent song in its own right, just crushed under the shadow of its almighty predecessor. See the follow-up singles of Lasgo and Ian Van Dahl for further information. I was shocked to discover that Alice Deejay were actually a group, who now go by the phonetically identical ‘Alice DJ’.


112

JX – Son of a Gun
1994, UK, No. 6 smash! The darling first-born of Jake Williams AKA JX, this was kicked to the kerb and left to die the second its younger, sexier sibling came along. Still an absolute smasher of a song, only with substance abuse issues and a crippling need to give blowjobs in exchange for fleeting approval. JX has already featured on this list as Rex the Dog, and is part of the still-to-come Planet Perfecto. He co-wrote Bullet in the Gun, and I think he might have a bit of a wide-on for firearms.


111

Gala – Let a Boy Cry
1997, Italy/USA, No. 11 smash!

“And they say silver, I choose gold.
And they say ‘Strepsil?’ I say no.”

Famous for being the first song ever recorded during a tonsillectomy, the unusually hot Gala will feature again later in this rate. The lyrics and vocal stylings here are allegedly about empowering men to be more sensitive.


110

Gareth Emery ft. Emma Hewitt – Take Everything
2018, UK/Australia, No 1 smash (on the Beatport trance chart)! Woo Hoo, look at my little one fly! Described by various Moopists as ‘the greatest chorus in history’, ‘a song I’ve heard’ and ‘Okay if I say I like it will you please lower the gun?’. Gareth Emery is a three-time winner of the A State of Trance song of the year, and is a member of the superstar DJ-mocking parody group CVNT5. Emma Hewitt is a prolific dance vocalist, very much a latter day Karen Parry.
 
ButterTart said:
Oh GO ON THEN

TWENTY-FIVE points. I feel like the lucky so-and-sos who’ve achieved this really took the words of S Club 7’s ‘Reach’ to heart.



123

Junior Senior – Move Your Feet
2002, Denmark, No 3 smash! The sole Danish representative on this list, and it’s characteristically heartwarming and twee. This was one of the twenty biggest-selling singles in the UK in 2003. It was a simpler time back then. Jesper Mortensen is ‘Junior’, Jeppe Laursen is ‘Senior’, and the vocals are by their producer Thomas Troelsen.


122

Sandy B – Make the World Go Round (Deep Dish mix)
1996, USA, No. 20 smash in 1998! After the tragic death of Sandy A in that houseboat explosion, a world in mourning needed someone to take her place in our shattered hearts. Step forward Sandra Barber. This one was sampled by another song on our list - Camisra’s ‘Let Me Show You’. Apparently, Sandy was in Donnie Brasco!


121

Nicki Minaj – Starships
2012, USA, No 2 smash! Famously hated by its own singer, Starships is nevertheless one of the best selling singles of all time. Nicki Minaj, famous for her poise, elegance and unrelenting cuntiness towards Mariah Carey, is 37 years old! I don’t know how old I thought she was, but that still surprised me. The demo for this was recorded by beloved Melodifestivalen filler character Mohombi.




120

Alison Limerick – Where Love Lives
1990, UK, No. 9 smash in 1996! This was released thrice in the 1990s, with a remixed version in 1996 proving to be the most successful. Alison’s only other claim to fame is being one of the singers on the end credits of Blackadder the Third. Her much anticipated collaboration with Olivia Newton-John, ‘Where Long Live Love Lives’, is due for release in 2023.


119

Beyonce – Green Light (Freemasons Club Mix)

2006, USA, No. 12 smash! This isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of the Freemasons on this list, but it’s the only appearance of Nick Knowles’ beautiful wife Beyonce. Beyonce’s former bandmate and cock-fighting partner Kelly Rowland makes a few appearances of her own in this countdown. Her other former bandmate, Michelle Williams, does not. And never will.


118

Donna Summer – This Time I Know It’s For Real
1989, USA, No. 3 smash! Stock, Aitken & Waterman got their hooks into struggling millionairess Donna in the late 80s, and dragged her screaming into their web of well-choregraphed evil. This proved to be a massive, rejuvenating hit for her, and achieved the ultimate recognition when it became a No. 14 smash! for Kelly Llorenna in 2004. It was also covered by an Australian group called Young Divas, but they’re not from Oldham so who gives a shit?



117

Bicep – Glue
2017, UK, No. 20 smash album! This lot weren’t on my radar at all prior to this rate, but I plan to scuttle away and become obsessed once it’s all over. This is a superb throwback that I can imagine pairs very well with a comedown. Bicep are a duo from Northern Ireland, and the vocals were provided by something called Silkie Carlo. Glue was voted DJ Mag’s track of the year in 2017.


116

Deborah Cox – Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here (Hex Hector Mix)
1998, Canada, No. 55 smash! Deborah Cox – real name Deborah’s Cock – scored a massive hit in America which went completely ignored in RACIST BREXIT SHAME Britain. Our Deb duetted with Whitney Houston on ‘Same Script, Different Cast’ (me neither). Hex Hector is an American DJ who, according to Wikipedia, has remixed every song by a b-list-or-lower female singer in existence.
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Junior Senior - Fine at the time, fun video, not one I'd touch now
Sandy B - Overrated
Nicki Minaj - Starships may be one the greatest POP DANCE BANGER of all time.
Alison Limerick - Now I do like this one, but not quite up there with Livin Joy.
Beyonce - no.
Donna Summer - Later PWL really is more POP rather than dance. HOWEVER this in all time CLASSIC.
Bicep - Love. Bit too recent to be a classic but as someone clearly know there references its the TITS! Just may be my fave.
Debbie - Glad this gay classic qualified.
 
"Let a Boy Cry" grew on me during the rate. Possibly because I am totally gay for her in the video.

And yes I DID like "Take Everything".
 
TWENTY-EIGHT points for these precious children, who miss out on the top 100 by a measly two points.


109

Nightcrawlers – Push the Feeling On
1992, UK, No 3 smash! A minor hit in 1992, this was remixed and reissued in 1995 to far greater effect, to the point that the group deleted the original version and retrospectively classified this as their one as their debut single. It’s a popular misconception that the lyrics to this are ‘Merb, Eliza dem den Liza puwanab’, so it may astound you to know that it’s actually ‘their lives again, their lives will pull us’.


108

New Order – Blue Monday
1983, UK, No 9 smash in 1983, no 3 smash in 1988! This one did big business in Dance Rate 2015, but our palates have grown much less refined since then, after exposure to dangerous levels of Eurovision over the past few months. These Manc icons sampled Kraftwerk’s ‘Uranium’ and Ennio Morricone’s ‘La Resi Dei Conti’ here, and the ‘Can’t Get Blue Monday out of My Head’ mashup with Keely Mortgage remains an evergreen classic.


107

Paul Van Dyk – For an Angel
1998, Germany, No. 28 smash! The second appearance on the list for this track, following its triumphant collaboration with Rachel McFarlane at no. 250. Paul grew up in East Germany, and the scars of his upbringing are still evident in his haircut to this day. This was his debut single, and was voted by Mixmag as the 8th best dance track of all time. Paul is considered a pioneer of trance, which is why you cocked a collective snoot and left him to rot outside the top 100.


106

Armand Van Helden – My My My
2004, USA, No. 12 smash in 2006! @Soldi bags a solid placing for his sole nominee. This one samples Gary Wright’s 1981 song ‘Comin’ Apart’. Originally a No. 15 smash!, it was re-released in 2006 as MyMyMy and featured the vocals of British singer Tara McDonald. Tara went on to be a vocal coach on The Voice in Belgium, while Armand went on to release the smash ‘Barbra Streisand’ under the alias ‘Duck Sauce’.
 
ButterTart said:
109

Nightcrawlers – Push the Feeling On
1992, UK, No 3 smash! A minor hit in 1992, this was remixed and reissued in 1995 to far greater effect, to the point that the group deleted the original version and retrospectively classified this as their one as their debut single. It’s a popular misconception that the lyrics to this are ‘Merb, Eliza dem den Liza puwanab’, so it may astound you to know that it’s actually ‘their lives again, their lives will pull us’.


108

New Order – Blue Monday
1983, UK, No 9 smash in 1983, no 3 smash in 1988! This one did big business in Dance Rate 2015, but our palates have grown much less refined since then, after exposure to dangerous levels of Eurovision over the past few months. These Manc icons sampled Kraftwerk’s ‘Uranium’ and Ennio Morricone’s ‘La Resi Dei Conti’ here, and the ‘Can’t Get Blue Monday out of My Head’ mashup with Keely Mortgage remains an evergreen classic.
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THE FUCK!
 
The more CLASSICS I see here dropping out FAR too early, the more I think we should rate the top 50, even though I am a lazy cunt.
 
The TWENTY-NINE club are here now. They’re one point away from thirty, and one point away from the top 100. I’d be pure raging, hen.

105

Urban Cookie Collective – The Key, The Secret
1993, UK, No. 2 smash! These Mancunian maestros sampled ‘Hell’s Party’ by Glam for this. The vocalist was Diane Charlemagne, who died in 2015. One of the Urban Cookies, Neil Claxton, also had success as Mint Royale, while Rohan Heath was associated with A Guy Called Gerald. The Eccles branch of their headwear and home appliances emporium Turban Cooker Collective was destroyed in an avalanche in 2009.


104

Avicii – Levels
2010, Sweden, No. 4 smash! This one samples Etta James’s ‘Something’s Got a Hold on Me’, and was used as the theme to the 2012 Miss Universe swimsuit competition. Avicii died in 2018, having managed a continuous run of being alive since 1989. He also barely featured in this rate, which is a shame. ‘Hey Brother’ and ‘Wake Me Up’ are radio friendly bangers, and Seek Bromance (pictured below) is suddenly my feel-good hit of the season.



103

Kylie Minogue – Timebomb
2012, Australia, No 31 smash! Another shockingly early boot for Kelsey Minger. I’d never heard this prior to the rate, but I have to admit it’s a keeper. According to Wikipedia, this was released as part of Kylie’s 25th musical anniversary (‘Two and half decades: Two and a half hits’ was the bitter slogan proposed by the D. Goodrem Agency for PR and Settee Reupholstering). This is generally considered to be one of KayLee’s strongest songs, which makes it all the weirder that it had completely passed me by for so long.
 
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These two got THIRTY points, but managed to narrowly miss out on the top 100. Cash donations to the Buttersley Tartine Charity for Sad Singers and Settee Reupholstering, please.

102

Motorcycle – As the Rush Comes
2003, USA, No 11 smash in 2004! Considering this almost fell in the first semi, its placing here feels like an unqualified triumpth. Motorcycle also go by the name of Gabriel & Dresden, and the vocals here are provided by someone called Jes. A mix of this was featured on the soundtracks of Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials, and you just know that any film starring Terry Dale Parks AND Marc Comstock wouldn’t have settled for any old tat.




101

Ice MC – Think About the Way
1994, UK, No. 6 smash in 1996! This is one of my absolute favourite songs on this list, and nailing the rap part to it is an achievement that must never be overlooked. Originally released to little acclaim, it was re-released in 1996 following its use in Trainspotting. Ice MC’s real name is Ian Campbell, who hails from glamorous Nottingham on the Trent Riviera. He now lives in Italy, and has enjoyed far more success on the continent than he ever has here.
 
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