Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 11: Denmark, Germany & Ukraine

#4 2017: Anja Nissen - Where I Am



126 points

Highest: 2x 12pts (Penelope, Win_the_Game)

Lowest: 1x 0pts (Kevin)

This beefy Valkyrie came to slay and slay (vocally) she did. Possibly a little too REAL MUSIC for the average Eurovision crowd, this also had the dishonour of being sandwiched in the running order between favourites Italy (Occidentali’s Karma) and winners Portugal. Anja’s BACK CAT is a real favourite of Moopy legend cwej, and would be recommended for anyone with a real understanding of funk music, like cwej.

The narrative of this song is one of seduction, as Nissen threatens to show the object of her affection both her gun and her armour. One can only assume after this that the few votes she did get were from terrified viewers assuming the numbers to call were to evict contestants off the stage, rather than reward them.

Prior to this, Anja won third series of The Voice Australia, and they in turn gave her 8 points, saving her from the bottom-bottom. Despite being asked not to, Anja released an album.

Anjanissenalbum.png
 
ButterTart said:
Higher Ground would have had my 12 points if it had been sung by someone who could actually project their voice. That weedy little queef of a vocal made the whole thing a bit of a missed opportunity.
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I feel like it could have won the whole damn thing in 2018 if he wasn't so PISS WEAK. And the gall of playing some kind of fantasy viking as well.

I still sort of love it though :shy:
 
Suomi said:
#5 2014: 2014: Basim - Cliché Love Song



89 points

Highest: 3x 10pts (Tischlampe, Alla, Kevin)

Lowest: 2x 1pts (dmlaw, Penelope)

That we are now into the top 5 and THIS had made it really speaks for how shameful Denmark have been this past decade. I honestly don’t even know where to begin with what I dislike most about this. As I was rewatching I found myself animating a lion onto the stage and imagining how many of Basim and his backing singers could get mauled before they took the show off air. Literally every youtube comment makes some reference to Bruno Mars and it’s that sort of shameless MOR trend-chasing nonsense that makes this so unlistenable. I heard this on the radio once and have not turned one on again since!
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I love it. I expected it to do better than 9th.
 
I listened to 'Where I Am' twice and I can still barely remember what it sounds like. I think it may be because I spent the entire performance waiting for the microphone to get snagged on that gap in her teeth.
 
Suomi said:
#4 2017: Anja Nissen - Where I Am



126 points

Highest: 2x 12pts (Penelope, Win_the_Game)

Lowest: 1x 0pts (Kevin)

This beefy Valkyrie came to slay and slay (vocally) she did. Possibly a little too REAL MUSIC for the average Eurovision crowd, this also had the dishonour of being sandwiched in the running order between favourites Italy (Occidentali’s Karma) and winners Portugal. Anja’s BACK CAT is a real favourite of Moopy legend cwej, and would be recommended for anyone with a real understanding of funk music, like cwej.

The narrative of this song is one of seduction, as Nissen threatens to show the object of her affection both her gun and her armour. One can only assume after this that the few votes she did get were from terrified viewers assuming the numbers to call were to evict contestants off the stage, rather than reward them.

Prior to this, Anja won third series of The Voice Australia, and they in turn gave her 8 points, saving her from the bottom-bottom. Despite being asked not to, Anja released an album.

Anjanissenalbum.png
Click to expand...


Still a terrible song that she just shouts her way through. Should never have qualified.
 
What's worst is that the UK appear to look to Denmark as the MODEL of how our entries should sound.
 
#3 2018: Rasmussen - Higher Ground



149 points

Highest: 3x12pts (Kevin7, Ag, dmlaw)

Lowest: 1x 0pts (Dark Carnival)

Look, I love dress-up. I was there for both of Dark Carnival’s “Come as something beginning with the letter Penis” parties, and I think this sort of novelty on the Eurovision stage is fun4europe. But my god, the most entertaining thing about this is the lack of enthusiasm Rasmussen displays for both his concept and singing. I’d imagine if you’d been a monk at Lindisfarne in 870 AD you’d have just laughed off the invading forces if Rasmussen had been leading. So what was the answer? What could have guaranteed victory? Well let me give you two words Moopy, two words you might have heard of. Anja. Nissen.

For you intellectual consideration – Anja Nissen – Higher Ground:

She climbs aboard a podium with a sword in her hand.

“You’re not on yet, Sweden are about to perform!” Bjorkman shouts from the control room.

But she doesn’t care, her name is Anja Nissen and she is here to win Eurovision.

Benjamin Ingrosso is murdered mid-song live on-stage (camera pans to an emotionless Pernilla) and Anja shouts ‘hit it!’ towards the music control room. Anja’s Viking army of backing singers descend onto stage and she blasts out Higher Ground, covering every note available in singing The audience go wild. Bjorkman comes onto stage and declares this contest is over. Nissen is later seen in the after-show bar using a straw as a headset microphone bragging about how she was the ‘Viking of the evening.’ Eurovision victory comes back to Denmark.
 
@Suomi really does HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD though - I just didn't BELIEVE that Rasmussen was a roving Viking hordeman enough. You can LITERALLY SEE HIM HITTING THE BEATS IN HIS HEAD!

I mean for heavens sake if they COULDN'T HAVE GIVEN IT TO ROGER PONTARE then they should've just SHIPPED RASMUSSEN OFF TO A CAVE WITH SYPHILIS FOR 18 MONTHS FIRST
 
Suomi said:
#3 2018: Rasmussen - Higher Ground



149 points

Highest: 3x12pts (Kevin7, Ag, dmlaw)

Lowest: 1x 0pts (Dark Carnival)

Look, I love dress-up. I was there for both of Dark Carnival’s “Come as something beginning with the letter Penis” parties, and I think this sort of novelty on the Eurovision stage is fun4europe. But my god, the most entertaining thing about this is the lack of enthusiasm Rasmussen displays for both his concept and singing. I’d imagine if you’d been a monk at Lindisfarne in 870 AD you’d have just laughed off the invading forces if Rasmussen had been leading. So what was the answer? What could have guaranteed victory? Well let me give you two words Moopy, two words you might have heard of. Anja. Nissen.

For you intellectual consideration – Anja Nissen – Higher Ground:

She climbs aboard a podium with a sword in her hand.

“You’re not on yet, Sweden are about to perform!” Bjorkman shouts from the control room.

But she doesn’t care, her name is Anja Nissen and she is here to win Eurovision.

Benjamin Ingrosso is murdered mid-song live on-stage (camera pans to an emotionless Pernilla) and Anja shouts ‘hit it!’ towards the music control room. Anja’s Viking army of backing singers descend onto stage and she blasts out Higher Ground, covering every note available in singing The audience go wild. Bjorkman comes onto stage and declares this contest is over. Nissen is later seen in the after-show bar using a straw as a headset microphone bragging about how she was the ‘Viking of the evening.’ Eurovision victory comes back to Denmark.
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FUCK OFF WITH YOUR TOXIC MASCULINITY :manson:
 
I enjoyed Higher Ground and the staging was silly and necessary. Imagine if they HADN'T done the grubby Viking thing? He'd just be a rosey cheeked, ginger CUNT.
 
I'm pleased, but surprised, that Rasmussen did this well. At least it's the other two least incompetent entries competing for the win.
 
#2 - 2010: Chanée & N'evergreen - In a Moment Like This



169 points:

Highest: 5x12pts (Buttertart, sewerynsven, David_5000, Alla, Pingu)

Lowest 3x5pts (Suomi, Ag, Raining on Me)

Now this is actually quite artpop because instead of choosing to present themselves as a loving couple, Chanee & N’evergreen took the little-explored duet route of singing like you’ve just gone through a divorce. Nothing could be more Scandinavian than a jaunty happy tune sung by singers with deadpan, hurt expressions, like the iconic Marie Serneholt mastered during her time in the A*Teens. The most pathetic attempt at hand-holding as the moving platforms separate them further is surely one of Eurovision's most iconic moment? For daring to be themselves, this pair were awarded with a significant number of 12s and a top 5 placing. That Chanee immediately murdered N’evergreen backstage should not dampen this incredible effort to combine a key change with the legal dissolution of marriage.


WINNER - 2013: Emmelie DeForest - Only Teardrops



188 points

Highest: 8x12pts (VoR, Suomi, Kevin, Jacques, Ill Advised, Tischlampe, Raining on Me, wurst)
Lowest: 1x0pts (sewerynsven) – currently being investigated for vote-fixing

If aliens landed and asked me to submit the best possible example of a Eurovision song then this would be on the shortlist. I remember hearing a clip of this in the Danish pre-qualifying line-up and immediately thinking it could win Eurovison. The only other time that this has happened and come true is when I heard Charlotte Perrelli – Hero, Charlotte Perrelli – The Girl and Loreen – Statements.

The dramatic rhetorical questioning in this is set against a melodic mix of tin whistles and [I don’t know any other instruments apart from the tin whistle] The staging of this was superb, from Emmelie’s desperate kneeling before the man with the gigiantic throbbing tin whistle, to the disco strut and fireworks shower in the song’s climatic finish – this song had every intention of winning whether you liked it or not. Had it not been for this 11/10 moment, Denmark’s overall grade point average would be a lot lower, which is why I feel Emmelie De Forest should be Head of Danish State. (well she has to do SOMETHING!)
 
Teardrops is fine, but that Chlammy holds it up as a classic, says everything I need to know about it.
 
Anja didn't actually use the sword to murder Ingrosso. She just hit him with her tits.
 
Also seeing how much N'evergreen was literally counting down the SECONDS until Eurovision ended and he could finally block Chanée on WhatsApp really does bring out the contrast in Eurovision experiences and how much they wanted to be there with Anna Bergendahl, whose life was being shattered in the same moment for bringing shame on her nation forever, for being the only person who couldn't do what Filipa Azevedo and Peter Nalitch did and just get to the final
 
I like Only Teardrops but it's up there with Måns - Heroes and Charlotte Perrelli - The Girl as one of the most obvious default Eurovision winners ever.
 
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