Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 11: Denmark, Germany & Ukraine

Suomi said:
#7 Mika Newton – Angel



46 points

Highest: 2 x 6pts (Kalabaliken, Win_the_game)

Lowest: 4 x 0pts (Pingu, wurst, Kevin7,Dark Carnival)

Look, sometimes it's really fun when Ukraine bring the whole circus to town. "Be My Valentine" is obviously one of the greatest fusions of performance art and song of all time. But this is just a shameless attempt to distract viewers from a very middling song using a recent trend on 'Siberia's Got Talent!' type shows. What am I looking at? Newton? The sand? Is the sand something to do with the song? Thank god I wasn't the sand moderator behind Mika's performance because you just know I'd be drawing sand penises in the background. Anything to lift this dull nonsense!
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HOW did this finish fourth??
 
Suomi said:
#4. Gaitana - Be My Guest



136 points

Highest: 1x 12pts (Jacques)

Lowest: 1x 0pts (Tischlampe)

Oh God I absolutely lived for this woman, marching onto stage looking like a snapchat filter and belting like Nicola Roberts in Popstars: The Rivals. The graphics behind are a great idea but even back then the execution looked...questionable :D I remember Charlotte Perrelli talking about "The Girl" graphics (also 2012) in retrospect and laughing about how bad she realised it was as soon as she saw it done right with Mans' "Heroes".

Gaitana faced racist abuse from far-right groups in Ukraine after she was selected, but she did not let that stop her delivering a great performance as Ukraine's first Afro-Ukranian representative.

Attempts to find further Gaitana bangers resulted in finding this. And it's, err, it's nice :)

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WHAT??? :evil:
 
#3 Jamala – 1944



146 points

Highest: 4 x 12pts (Suomi, Dark Carnival, sewerynsven, wurst)

Lowest: 3 x 0pts (Ill Advised, Jacques, Buttertart)

The winner of 2016, placing second with both the juries and the televoters. Sounds like a strange sentence doesn't it? Anyway, I LOVE this - regardless of what you think about the song, the graphics in the presentation are brilliant and is a masterclass in getting staging RIGHT. I do think that if this had come second then it would be far more loved than it is. A compromise winner is never going to be popular, and Jamala has since gone on to not exactly show herself in the best light, like a Ukranian 2002 era Whitney Houston.

I do wonder if THIS incident had come before her participation in Eurovision if she would have been allowed to take part with "1944" considering the EBU's 'no overtly political' songs.



In doing this Jamala inadvertently stopped Maruv from succeeding her as the next Ukranian Eurovision winner and probable Moopyvision winner here today. GREAT JOB JAMA!
 
1944 is fucking amazing.
I’ve said it a million times before but the moment where Ukraine beat Russia with a song about RUSSIAN GENOCIDE, following so much conflict between the two nations the year previous was such a :disco: :disco: moment that could only happen at Eurovision.

God 2016 was truly a LIFE CHANGING contest :disco:
 
#2 Mariya Yarem-chuk – Tick-Tock



158 points

Highest: 4x 12pts (Raining on Me, dmlaw, Pingu, Kalabaliken)

Lowest: 2 x 1pt (Suomi, David_5K)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate Tick-Tock, a track which belies its title by being anything but reliable, both in melody and stage presentation. The chorus of this feels like it’s hurtling towards some kind of untimely ending and then you’ve got some man in the background getting up to GOD KNOWS WHAT just to add another element of peril. The thrillseeker gays gave this their 12, and Raining on Me actually got married at his Elaiza-soundtracked wedding in a giant hamster wheel in tribute. The helter skelter feeling about this gives a pulsing urgency that takes you on a ride (in a wheel) and saw Mariya manage an impressive 6th place from first in the running order. I, however, find it quite irksome but this isn’t about ME.

WINNER Zlata Ognevich – Gravity



183 points

Highest 10 x 12pts (Tischlampe, David_5K, Alla, Ag, kevin7, Ill Advised, Penelope, Kevin, Buttertart, VoR)

Lowest: 1x 1pt (Dark Carnival)

Now this magical Disney nonsense is JUST THE TICKET in this, our hour of need. It starts off with Zlata getting removed by the bouncer from the club after passing out, and he dumps her on stage and she wakes up totally spaced out to realise she's in this forest (which she thinks is fucking brilliant!) She then continues to sing about absolutely NOTHING for the remainder of the song and is absolutely living for her existential experience. There's a moment between 1:40 - 1:52 which is my absolute favourite where she reaches this subtle but overwhelming sense of true euphoria (get lost Loreen!) and is so overcome that she can only make a slight gasp of noise. She then pulls herself together and continues her woodland fantasy, and by the end you get the real sense that Zlata is living for this with or without our approval, we're just privileged to watch.

A bronze medal was awarded and Zlata alleged flew back to Ukraine. But what's spooky is that there is no information about her on the internet. None prior to this performance or after. Ukrainian media make no reference to her, and when asked what their entry was in the 2013 Eurovision most respond with "there was no Ukranian entry in 2013 Eurovision." :o Some say she astral projected into the stars, some say she is in Jamala's basement, but whatever the case she is now our Ukranian Moopyvision finalist. HURRAH!
 
Fun fact - Jamala was given the key to the city of Riga for taking the title of ‘worst winner of the century’ away from Latvia. Salvador received the key to Kiev just a year later.
 
Penelope said:
Sweet People is absolutely DISGUSTING! WHO watches Eurovision to get shouted at like that? I mean I suppose @Win_the_game, but he might be the only person in the world whose therapist can't even bring themselves to say his choices are valid
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I quite like ENVIRONMENTAL ROCK.

Be grateful she decided to switch songs prior to Eurovision. You could have been subjected to this ANGSTY ANNIE LENNOX ANTHEM instead.

 
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Gravity is INCREDIBLE :D MORE KEY CHANGES IN THREE MINUTES THAN IN THE ENTIRETY OF THAT YEAR'S MELODIFESTIVALEN! Just utterly, deliciously ludicrous! :disco:

Tick-Tock thrills me like little else but in this killer line-up it could only manage an 8 from me. By GOD I was GASPING AND YIPPING at the middle eight when she slides up on the wheel though. BASIQUE MAGNIFIQUE!
 
Many thanks @Suomi for temporarily releasing me from this self-imposed purgatory.

Also, Gravidee is MAGNIFICENT and I will brook no debate on this matter. My favourite bit is her smug "Yep, I'm nailing this" expression at 2.51. Followed by her carefully rehearsed Swedish shout out at the end, because of course she had to go the extra mile instead of just yelling out TACK like everybody else.
 
ButterTart said:
They’ll wheel him out strapped to a stretcher like Hannibal Lecter, he’ll hiss ‘Hungary’ into your ear, and then it’ll be straight back to solitary until we need him again.
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No one will know whether he was naming the next country or just complaining that you forgot to feed him again.
 
Now that VoR has been sent down for a ten-stretch (we warned him no good would come of his plan to electrocute a police horse ‘for bantz’), will Suomi be our host for the next round as well?
 
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