Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 12: Albania, Belgium & Spain (2 Viewers)

2nd: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside (194pts)

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Having had a few years to reflect on it, on balance I wouldn't have minded AT ALL had this prodigiously talented Belgian had won the whole thing that year. He may have the air of an art school student who's watched Donnie Darko way too many times and exists a mere hair's breadth away from wearing a beret without irony, but by Sia's wig this was the whole package in 2015.

Seemingly one of those annoying people who are just good at everything, Loïc went on to do more with his post-Eurovision momentum than most winners, lifting the trophy on France's version of Dancing With The Stars and scoring further success with his debut album, which was only somewhat off-puttingly titled Selfocracy.

He probably wouldn't have been as much fun as a co-host as Måns though, so maybe we dodged an 8 minute interpretive dance-shaped bullet.

8 x 12 (Pingu, Alla, dmlaw, wurst, Madison, Kevin7, tichlampe, Jacques)
1 x 3 (Raining on Me)

1st: Blanche - City Lights (216pts)

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Charisma. Uniqueness. Nerve. Talent. BLANCHE! :disco:

You all know the story of this one by now, but it really bears repeating just what a complete train wreck this appeared to be right up until the 11th hour. Not exactly what you'd describe as a natural performer, our sullen siren weathered shaky rehearsals, a horribly misguided initial choice of frock (WHITE for our gothic queen? MON DIEU!) and the merciless snarking of jaded Eurogays who almost uniformly predicted an early ride back to Brussels.

Queen B was playing the long game, though, and it was genuinely heartening to see her confidence grow with every performance, reaching a peak of tantalisingly near-competence in the finals.

I can't put my finger on it, but there's something genuinely bewitching about that gloomy vibrato, so much so that her half-arsed arm wave and chest-voice shift (it's not QUITE a key change, is it?) at the end legitimately ranks among the most rousing moments of the modern Eurovision era. C'est magnifique!

10 x 12 (VoR, Suomi, Penelope, Kevin, Dark Carnival, Ag, Raining on Me, Win The Game, Kalabaliken, sewerynsven)
3 x 6 (Madison, Tischlampe, Pingu)
 
Also to these eyes the final performance of City Lights was only barely competent and that was ENTIRELY the POINT. A nervous breakdown live onstage never looked so good!
 
Two genuinely great songs in the Top 2. I think that might only be the second time that we've done that. Norway, if you were wondering.
 
Getting the living embodiment of FRAGILITY to perform a song about FEAR and LONELINESS was a MASTERSTROKE.
 
Why has Penelope posted a picture of Ellen DeGeneres?
 
The performance of City Lights was the perfect marriage of everything; anyone with a soul felt like they too were alone and lost, and her fourth placed televote was an outpouring of empathy.
 
Suomi said:
The performance of City Lights was the perfect marriage of everything; anyone with a soul felt like they too were alone and lost, and her fourth placed televote was an outpouring of empathy.
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The result was like a BIG WARM HUG from a WHOLE CONTINENT.
 
Penelope said:
I do mentally categorise City Lights along with Rhythm Inside and I Feed You My Love as songs that were just TOO FORWARD-THINKING to win Eurovision, which I think is the spiritual role of 4th place
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So much this.
 
Penelope said:
I do mentally categorise City Lights along with Rhythm Inside and I Feed You My Love as songs that were just TOO FORWARD-THINKING to win Eurovision, which I think is the spiritual role of 4th place
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Oh her from Latvia as well, although I think she did less well.
 
I can't imagine the feeling of absolute horror when Blanche realised she'd qualified and would have to go through all of that again. It seems she wanted to change the staging so she would be performing from inside a car with a length of hose attached to the exhaust pipe, as she was caught practising that routine several times in the run up to the grand final.
 
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A top 2 of polar opposites. Loic was all very expertly put together but I could not be any LESS interested, never mind actually enjoy listening to the song. It reminds me of a group of people that got bored waiting for the hotel lift to work and put on a robotic improv show. I'm aware that's doing him a massive disservice but...no thanks (quite good chorus mind)

Blanche on the other hand...the song is everything and I'm ASTOUNDED her vote carried her so far. They obviously saw her desire to shoot herself throughout and scored the poor dear appropriately :disco: Still shocking to me but what a rare voting delight
 
Spain

10th: Manel Navarro - Do It For Your Lover (17pts)

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Officially less popular than Belgian incest, how I resent the televoting Spanish ex-pats in Portugal for denying this smug prick his rightful place in the NUL POINTS hall of fame.

This round has really brought home to me what a weird self-sabotaging streak the Spanish have at Eurovision. All anyone wants from them is a ropey Tenerife slag with a Sangria-fuelled holiday hit, but they bring it to us LITERALLY NONE OF THE BALLS.

The worst thing is, those songs exist, and by and large the Spanish public vote for them. Had the gays of Spain had their way we could have had THIS instead, which would surely have picked up a decent raft of televotes.

If I haven't said much about Do It For Your Lover in this write-up, well, what do you expect? It barely even qualifies as a song. That tragic voice crack near the end is just the icing on a very sad and unappetising cake.

1 x 4 (Jacques)
13 x 0 (VoR, Ill Advised, Kalabaliken, Raining on Me, Ag, Alla, dmlaw, Dark Carnival, Penelope, Madison, David_5000, Tichlampe, Suomi)
 
It still disgusts me to my very core that Do It For Your Lover got the rigged nod over Mirela - Contigo. WHY BOTHER WITH A PUBLIC SELECTION?

I would probably have sex with Manel and that is really all I can say for him (maybe even moreso now he's changed his hair). Also OMG he paints his nails :o

 
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