Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 8: Israel, Portugal & Russia

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

I’m actually amazed NETTA has got so far.

An iconic winner for sure, but I never need to hear it or see her EVER AGAIN!

 

[Dark Carnival]

And we have semifinals first, so there you go.

Right right!

 

[ButterTart]

A lot of gender hate and body shaming going for poor Mei.

I always thought she was quite fit. Then again, I like my women how I like my coffee - burly and with a vestigial penis.

 

[Dark Carnival]

I’m actually amazed NETTA has got so far.

An iconic winner for sure, but I never need to hear it or see her EVER AGAIN!

I genuinely can't fathom how ANY of these poofs are willing to listen to that shit ever again!

 

[Dark Carnival]

I always thought she was quite fit. Then again, I like my women how I like my coffee - burly and with a vestigial penis.

I'm genuinely confused here

 

[VoR]

2nd: Nadav Guedj - Golden Boy (176pts)

Serving 'closeted Grindr addict whose sole output consists of unsolicited dick pics and one-word messages that simply read 'fun?'. Well, he is the king of it...

This really is the most excellent fun despite the appalling whiff of possible heterosexuality. Lift the swarthy manchild off it if you must and you've got the backing of an absolutely classic Israeli banger, which deservedly returned the country to the finals for the first time in five years. It almost won this, despite only scoring a single 12 from fellow questionable breeder Buttertart, on account of being in the vast majority of top threes while other entries proved more divisive.

I look forward to Penny's update on what he looks like now. I imagine Rogaine and a girdle are likely to feature heavily.

1 x 12 (Buttertart)
1 x 0 (Dark Carnival)

1st: Netta - Toy (190pts)

Not as clear a win as I expected going in, but Netta manages to barge her way over the line thanks to a late surge and some well-timed sabotage from Dark Carnival.

It does feel right that this be in the final, despite the fact that the entire world got sick of it by June 2018. One of the more striking Eurovision winners of recent years, and certainly the closest since Euphoria to border on trendy.

Her subsequent releases have sadly become progressively more unlistenable, but the excitement of that first play still goes a long way for me, despite my sneaking suspicion that I never want to hear anything else from her again.

5 x 12 (VoR, Suomi, Kevin, lolly, Kalabaliken)
2 x 4 (wurst, sewerynsven)

 

[lolly]

I always thought she was quite fit. Then again, I like my women how I like my coffee - burly and with a vestigial penis.

And BITTER

 

[dmlaw]

As Moopy’s voice of marginal heterosexuality, I regret to inform you that Golden Boy is an absolute belter, and Dana is a bit of an old hoof singing a song Tracy Shaw originally passed on.

As the one person here who isn't hoping for Chingiz is to appear in his hotel room, I dispute the first part of that statement. The bits about Golden Boy and Ding Dong are correct though.

 

[Zu]

what?!

MARGINALLY HETEROSEXUAL

 

[Alla]

Wait a minute, if @Kalabaliken voted, I didn't see his 0. RECOUNT PLS!

 

[lolly]

QUESTIONABLE BREEDER

 

[dmlaw]

Golden Boy does have a strong whiff of toxic masculinity to it. I suspect that Nadav and the boys may be the sort to get themselves into trouble on a trip to Ayia Napa.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Well if at least my 05 won over my 00 then fine...

 

[Zu]

Wait a minute, if @Kalabaliken voted, I didn't see his 0. RECOUNT PLS!

Oh I bet he didn’t vote so he can swan in later with one of those WELL WELL WELL... posts

 

[Dark Carnival]

Golden Boy does have a strong whiff of toxic masculinity to it. I suspect that Nadav and the boys may be the sort to get themselves into trouble on a trip to Ayia Napa.

 

[Alla]

Oh I bet he didn’t vote so he can swan in later with one of those WELL WELL WELL... posts

Do you mean @VoR rigged it pretending Kala gave 12 points to Netta when he didn't even vote?

 

[Zu]

Oh I didn’t see that

I’m sure we’ll still get a WELL WELL WELL... post anyway

 

[VoR]

Wait a minute, if @Kalabaliken voted, I didn't see his 0. RECOUNT PLS!

Kala got his vote in after I started Israel but they didn't change anything I'd already posted so I allowed it.

His 0 went to 'Home'

 

[Penelope]

OH WELL

Anyway, astonishingly for someone who looked semi-convincingly in his forties at 16, Nadav ISN'T balding now. Indeed I'm not even ashamed to say it but I ACTUALLY WOULD REALLY, THANKS

 

[ButterTart]

As the one person here who isn't hoping for Chingiz is to appear in his hotel room.

That little infatuation ended as soon as everyone started talking about him smelling of sweat. That was just a touch too real for me.

 

[Zu]

OH I WOULD TOO (on the Nadav front)

What’s all this nonsense about the “appalling whiff of possible heterosexuality”? I thought we were SUPPOSED to lust after the unobtainable? It’s in the JD FOR GOD’S SAKE!

 

[Dark Carnival]

A quick reminder before we move on that Netta eats Palestinian babies. Excellent choice moopy

 

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

OH WELL

Anyway, astonishingly for someone who looked semi-convincingly in his forties at 16, Nadav ISN'T balding now. Indeed I'm not even ashamed to say it but I ACTUALLY WOULD REALLY, THANKS

100% would too, he looks like he could fix my dodgy fridge door after also

 

[Dark Carnival]

OH I WOULD TOO (on the Nadav front)

What’s all this nonsense about the “appalling whiff of possible heterosexuality”? I thought we were SUPPOSED to lust after the unobtainable? It’s in the JD FOR GOD’S SAKE!

Sorry Zu, count me firmly in the 'a slight whiff of hetero = absolute turn off' camp.

 

[ButterTart]

Netta’s win was TO BE EXPECTED. Delighted that Golden Boy was a sporting runner up, though.

 

[dmlaw]

A quick reminder before we move on that Netta eats Palestinian babies. Excellent choice moopy

To be honest, that's a risk for just about all of them. If Mei isn't now a Mossad agent then I can only assume that their recruiter was in the toilet when her entry came on.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

OH WELL

Anyway, astonishingly for someone who looked semi-convincingly in his forties at 16, Nadav ISN'T balding now. Indeed I'm not even ashamed to say it but I ACTUALLY WOULD REALLY, THANKS

Is that a billiard ball tattoo? That's a step away from a flaming 8 ball tattoo, which is a step away from being able to suck his dick, no questions.

 

[Zu]

Sorry Zu, count me firmly in the 'a slight whiff of hetero = absolute turn off' camp.

Gracious. Maybe it’s a generational thing (although I kind of doubt it). The ever-refined and gracious @Penelope to chime in with her noisily honked thoughts on the matter please

 

[VoR]

I'll race through Portugal and then I really do have to dash, sorry!

I can do Russia tomorrow or hand over to a trustworthy volunteer, what would the masses prefer?

 

[D5K]

I can do Russia tomorrow or hand over to a trustworthy volunteer, what would the masses prefer?

It wouldn't be the same without you.

 

[win_the_game]

Add me to the Nadav fan club. I'd let him throw it up me. No question.

 

[Alla]

I can wait for tomorrow.

 

[Zu]

RUSSIA TOMORROW PLEASE

But it just won’t be Sunday without SUZY being awarded the poubelle merdique d’or

 

[dmlaw]

Tomorrow suits me for Russia. I'd be sorry to miss the VoR comments on nasty old Samoylova.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I'm not against a guest host, so long as it's Moonbaby.

 

[Alla]

I can wait for tomorrow.

Unless it's Kala hosting and having a live meltdown when it comes to a male top 2

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Add me to the Nadav fan club. I'd let him throw it up me. No question.

I read that as 'throw up in me', which is fair.

 

[dmlaw]

I'm not against a guest host, so long as it's Moonbaby.

I believe KindaCool may be available.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I believe KindaCool may be available.

There's limits.

 

[VoR]

Portugal

8th: Homens da Luta - A luta é (26pts)

Poor Portugal. They can't even get novelty entries right.

I was shocked to learn just now that this rabble weren't even protesting anything in particular! They're just some local comedy troupe who have released dozens of songs, all of which contain the word 'struggle' in the title. How SIDE SPLITTING

If you take away the stupid costumes, the song underneath isn't that far removed from your standard jaunty Portuguese ditty really. Well, the costumes and the distracting fact that one of the women appears to be singing in an entirely different key to everybody else.

Rubbish, and barely even in an entertaining way.

1 x 8 (Suomi)
13 x 0 (VoR, SDF, superstylin', Win the Game, Kevin, Zu Klara, Ag, Ill Advised, Kevin7, David_5000, sewerynsven, lolly, Kalabaliken)