Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 8: Israel, Portugal & Russia

[Dark Carnival]

Seriously, I cancelled Lana Del Rey for this!

 

[AGinAg (37)]

I timed my suicide around this this. Now I expect I'll miss the end.

 

[D5K]

ButterTart is officially my new favourite person on Moopy.

 

[VoR]

Sorry guys, life got in the way for a few hours there! Still, nothing like a TICKING CLOCK to motivate me.

(I really do have to leave at 6 so apologies if this ends up unfinished. I'll DO MY BEST)

 

[Dark Carnival]

 

[Alla]

 

[VoR]

Israel

10th: Izabo - Time (23pts)

Israel have demonstrated many strengths at Eurovision over the year, but based on this utterly repellent offering, pub rock is not one of them. Apparently popular on the home front, this was internally selected, which makes sense as surely nobody in their right mind would vote for it if there was any possible alternative.

Obviously the bloke is the stuff of repressed child abuse nightmares, but watching the performance back I found myself oddly drawn to the visibly drunk Mrs Lovett type on the keyboard. I imagine there's a sad and tawdry back story to that one, which I suspect I'd find much more enjoyable to listen to than this shit.

2 x 4 (Win the Game, Dark Carnival)
11 x 0 (David_5000, Kevin7, Ill Advised, Ag, Zu Klara, dmlaw, Penelope, Superstylin', SDF, Buttertart, VoR)

 

[D5K]

Still, nothing like a TICKING CLOCK to motivate me.

Did it stop?

 

[D5K]

Ah never mind.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Oh I actually really didn't mind this!

 

[Zu]

PERVERT

 

[Dark Carnival]

( )

 

[Zu]

It’s truly awful but I suppose there is something about it in a hopelessly inebriated with your bra hanging off at an Israeli Bierkeller kind of way

 

[Alla]

Didn't I give a 0 to that?

Ok, I gave it a 1.

 

[lolly]

I probably could have sneaked it up a couple of points if he wasn't so offputting.

 

[VoR]

9th: Kobi Marimi - Home (51pts)

Ugh, is there anything worse than a WEEPY QUEEN? (no offence @Zu-Klara )

Sending a completely non-competitive flop on home turf has become a bit of a tradition of recent years, and one which Israel proudly upheld with this 'solo showcase for the third male lead that gets cut after the previews' musical theatre drivel.

He doesn't even have that nice of a voice, and the whole demeanour just screamed 'still living at home with mother's rapidly decomposing corpse'. The fact that he got all blubbery AGAIN when he got that one douze points from Belarus, only for it to turn out they'd mixed up the papers and he'd actually come LAST is the only good thing to come out of this.

Well, that and the inexplicably decent DANCE MIX, which they really, really should have switched to.



1 x 10 (Penelope - lay off the mescaline, babes, we're all very concerned)
6 x 0 (lolly, Suomi, Alla, wurst, Kevin, Pingu)

 

[Zu]

I’m just VERY IN TOUCH WITH MY EMOTIONS darlin’

at @Penelope giving it TEN! Mind you I think I might have given it four. I think it’s a quite nice song. But I could probably live without HIM

 

[Dark Carnival]

Ew. Repulsive.

 

[Dark Carnival]

Seriously Pen wtf

 

[lolly]

Quite nice tits

 

[Zu]

Poor @Penelope. I did warn her that fifteen cans of Special Brew a day (and the rest) don’t always make for the wisest life choices

 

[Zu]

Goodness he’s quite TAUT

 

[Dark Carnival]

Quite nice tits

Good GRIEF Lolly!!

 

[lolly]

Good GRIEF Lolly!!

I can't lie, I'd go reverse cowgirl on it.

 

[win_the_game]

Quite nice tits

It could have been all so different if he's given us a TITS OUT BANGER for the Tel Aviv gays.

 

[dmlaw]

I was correct to go out for a couple of hours at half one rather than waiting around the iPad.

 

[ButterTart]

I actually didn’t mind Home. It was clearly shit, but buoyed somewhat by the crowd reaction.

 

[D5K]

It's not like many other home countries entered something good this decade.

 

[Zu]

‘Home’ is quite stirring in that musical theatre genre I pretend not to like sort of way

 

[ButterTart]

I was correct to go out for a couple of hours at half one rather than waiting around the iPad.

I wish I’d have done that. They’re saying my Nan might never dutty wine again.

 

[VoR]

8th: Hovi Star - Made of Stars (88pts)

Continuing Israel's apparent mission to represent all colours of the LGBTQ+ flag in their Eurovision entries (if Moran Mazor hasn't had an emotionally intense fling with a fellow bespectacled feline enthusiast at one time or another, my name's not VoR), this one's a sort of high-carb Adam Lambert type.

As ballids go, this one's nice enough, though still rather DULL. Juries loved it, televoters were less than keen. He definitely came off worse in his queeny feud with Douwe Bob, despite the loyal support of textbook faghag Sandhja from Serbia, whose number he almost certainly blocked and deleted the moment he landed back in Tel Aviv.

I'd blissfully forgotten he ended his finals performance with a Judy Garland quote. The NERVE

1 x 10 (Zu Klara)
1 x 1 (wurst)

 

[Zu]

EASILY my second favourite, before everyone starts chiming in

BLESS HOVIS

 

[Dark Carnival]

(if Moran Mazor hasn't had an emotionally intense fling with a fellow bespectacled feline enthusiast at one time or another, my name's not VoR),

 

[win_the_game]

That was more JAW than song.

 

[Dark Carnival]

That's actually one of my favourite ballads. That FACE though.

 

[Penelope]

Darlings it's FINE I'm NOT DEAD just NEGOTIATING A REARRANGED COACH JOURNEY

Anyway I was WELL AWARE my vote for Kobi Marimi was UTTERLY PERVERSE but frankly it was so entertainly foul I really never wanted it to end

Which is MORE THAN YOU CAN SAY OF TOY REALLY

 

[Penelope]

To approximately NOBODY'S surprise Hovi Star now appears to live PERMANENTLY in makeup

 

[Dark Carnival]

Well that softens her features a TAD. Not that that's saying much really.

 

[Zu]

He looks like a right ROTTEN COW

(With a very tiny smudge of )

 

[VoR]

7th: Harel Skaat - Milim (94pts)

Representing the 'fresh faced, newly out small-town queen just arrived in Tel Aviv and 2-3 years tops away from becoming an acid-tongued circuit cunt who's seen and done it all' demographic of this ten-year gay social experiment, it's Harel Skaat!

This is the kind of stirring Hebrew ballad that Israel used to do in their sleep around the mid-00s. Unfortunately, the vocal on this one completely fell apart on the night, which perhaps hampered its chances, though he still managed a commendable 14th place.

Fine, but when you have The Silence That Remains and The Fire In Your Eyes sitting on your 'weepy night in with the wine' playlist, there's absolutely no reason to go back to this second-tier effort.

2 x 12 (Alla, Zu Klara)
2 x 0 (Win the Game, Raining on Me)

 

[lolly]

I wish she'd get the carmen rollers out more often