Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 8: Israel, Portugal & Russia

[Alla]

OMG Zu

 

[Zu]

HOW AND WHY is Salvador TOP THREE?

 

[AGinAg (37)]

3 x 12 (Zu Klara)

FOWL

 

[win_the_game]

HOW AND WHY is Salvador TOP THREE?

Dirty bastards the lot of THEM.

 

[Penelope]

O jardim was like being stuck at the worst Goldsmiths house party in the world.

(Obviously I actually quite like it )

 

[win_the_game]

O Jardim is one of my favourite ESC songs ever. A lovely little piece of saudade.

 

[VoR]

3rd: Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois (131pts)

Alas, Eurovision's most likable modern winner has not followed Netta to the Moopy finals. I'm sure he'll theatrically shrug his shoulders and continue listening to the best of John Cage as soon as he gets wind of it.

It was of course virtually impossible to begrudge Portugal a win at this stage, and with a commanding lead on both the juries and the televotes that year, it was one of the more clear consensus winners. I liked the song for what it was, never ever feel the urge to play it now, he seems to have gone away and I got a lovely holiday in Lisbon out of it. On balance, it's a thumbs up from me.

Obviously his sister needs to come back with a Disco stomper for 2021 as a matter of some urgency.

4 x 12 (Kevin, Suomi, Raining on Me, David_5000)
2 x 0 (wurst, Dark Carnival)

 

[VoR]

So it's REAL MUSIC vs Conan Osiris

 

[Alla]

FINALLY

 

[dmlaw]

Portugal may not be the worst of the decade, but they certainly have the worst top two.

 

[Penelope]

O Jardim is one of my favourite ESC songs ever. A lovely little piece of saudade.

Saying this as someone who experiences this quite a lot, do you ever sometimes wonder if you're becoming a parody of yourself

 

[Zu]

Gold stars and Services To Discernment peek-a-boo crotchless leotards all round for @wurst and @Dark Carnival!

 

[Zu]

SUZY FTW

 

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

QUEEN CONAN goddess of life FTW

Surely one of the most marmite Eurovision songs of the past decade. To this day I still think the performance is perfection (or would have been if they’d got a better camera angle on the death drop )

 

[win_the_game]

Saying this as someone who experiences this quite a lot, do you ever sometimes wonder if you're becoming a parody of yourself

Not really, I've always been an outlier. I've never been one to follow the RUBBISH GAY agenda round these parts.

 

[Penelope]

If Suzy doesn't win I'm RITUALLY SETTING FIRE TO @Win_the_game

 

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

I genuinely HATE Salvador. It does absolutely nothing for me at all, and I forget everything about it the second after I hear it.

Like that TEDIOUS Italian jazz song that came second, I absolutely DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL

 

[Alla]

I can't see Suzy not winning this by a mile.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Conan was fine but I'M JUST NOT ARTHOUSE ENOUGH to understand the spoons on his cheeks.

Suzy is HIGH ART ENOUGH FOR ME.

 

[Penelope]

If Suzy doesn't win I'm RITUALLY SETTING FIRE TO @Win_the_game

I mean I know I just said it took me quite some time to decide which of Suzy and Telemoveis I actually preferred but then I've never been one to not go all in in with MAXIMALLY DRAMATIC ZEALOTRY once I've PLUMPED

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Suzy doesn't even need a last name. Her reputation as an international STARLET PRECEEDS HER.

 

[Penelope]

Suzy doesn't even need a last name. Her reputation as an international STARTLET PRECEEDS HER.

Like Madonna! Or MAO

 

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Conan, Mahmood, Hatari and Sergey’s TORTURED performance art

We really did not deserve the arty gay takeover of 2019

 

[Zu]

There are stars in the sky. There are stars of stage and screen. And then there’s SUZY

 

[ButterTart]

A reminder that Conan Osiris eats the Palestinian babies Netta spares in her rare moments of clemency.

 

[Penelope]

There are stars in the sky. There are stars of stage and screen. And then there’s SUZY

A BURNT OUT STAR after all merely just BURNED TOO HARD

 

[Penelope]

A reminder that Conan Osiris eats the Palestinian babies Netta spares in her rare moments of clemency.

JUST LIKE HATARI!

 

[Alla]

 

[VoR]

2nd: Conan Osiris - Telemoveis (155pts)

Aww, look at that face! How could Europe not want to nuzzle him to their tender breasts?

Look, whether you think this is a work of envelope-pushing artpop genius or you're Buttertart, I hope we can all agree that Eurovision NEEDS stuff like this in the mix. A pretty lady with a nice fado ballad is all well and good, but sometimes you just need a probable serial killer in a glued-on face mask having an epileptic fit while his Stockholm-afflicted captive tries to figure out how to communicate 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE HELP ME" via the medium of jazz hands. Y'know, for balance.

It was always going to go one of two ways. Personally, I thoroughly enjoyed the ride.

5 x 12 (Dark Carnival, wurst, lolly, SDF, sewerynsven)
3 x 0 (Buttertart, dmlaw, Jacques)

1st: Suzy - Quero ser tua (195pts)

An appropriately storming victory for Portugal's high-flying Pimba queen!

Much like Conan's entry, this is the epitome of a genre every good Eurovision should have at least one of, and the fact that the Juries hobbled it remains a source of much fury to me.

Suzy needs no arty gimmicks to make this stand out though. With her wild-eyed glint of desperation, frantic arm waving and admirable lack of rhythm, she's draw enough all by herself. I've long been obsessed by her look of baffled discomfort around the 2.16 mark of the performance. I can only assume she'd either shat herself or just realised she'd left the oven on.

QUEEN, and now that Portugal have been validated for their more 'chorus optional' approach to Eurovision, quite possibly the last of her kind.

9 x 12 (VoR, Kalabaliken, Pingu, Penelope, Ag, Alla, Ill Advised, Kevin, Jacques)
1 x 1 (Win The Game)

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Sergey’s TORTURED performance art

 

[dmlaw]

Poor VoR. 45 minutes late for his event and having to explain that he was 'doing the Portugal results'.

 

[Alla]

YAS! Not even close. Well done Moopy, real music won!

 

[AGinAg (37)]

YAY!!!!

 

[Zu]

I do hope SUZY is waiting backstage and ready to give us that once in a lifetime WINNER’S PERFORMANCE!

(Might need a bit more glue on that one darl - we can see your ariola )

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Well done girls, the campaign worked.

 

[Alla]

2nd: Conan Osiris - Telemoveis (155pts)
3 x 0 (Buttertart, dmlaw, Jacques)

These lovelies saving Moopy, well done. xxx

 

[Zu]

Oh HURRAH FOR SUZY! !

 

[ButterTart]

Ha! Another DISMAL FLOP for Conan Osiris. He's building quite the collection.

 

[dmlaw]

I fully agree that every Eurovision needs at least one Conan and at least one Suzy, but that doesn't mean that we should pretend that they have any merit. Maybe we could draw up a rota system.

 

[Zu]

WA WA WEY WA WEY