NAR: Tuesday

@Lucille darling, take it from a pro: give yourself a good scrub before slipping into your nylons and giving it the arse high. Potato peelings and minced lamb scrapings hanging from the torn fancy WON’T be a winner :(
 
@Lucille darling, take it from a pro: give yourself a good scrub before slipping into your nylons and giving it the arse high. Potato peelings and minced lamb scrapings hanging from the torn fancy WON’T be a winner :(

He used to be in the military love, he won’t mind hacking his way through a bit of SCRUBLAND.
 
@Lucille darling, take it from a pro: give yourself a good scrub before slipping into your nylons and giving it the arse high. Potato peelings and minced lamb scrapings hanging from the torn fancy WON’T be a winner :(

Well, not until he runs out of local HUMANS and starts getting the eye from that SAUCY ENGLISH MASTIFF down the road...
 
@Lucille darling, take it from a pro: give yourself a good scrub before slipping into your nylons and giving it the arse high. Potato peelings and minced lamb scrapings hanging from the torn fancy WON’T be a winner :(

I know I've already called Lucille's hoop a ham sandwich and a paper bag today, but now I'm getting the image of a Mr Kipling's angry pink French Fancy, and I just can't shake it.
 
Anyway I couldn’t possibly be arsed with this tonight, I have to get a taxi to the airport tomorrow morning at QUARTER PAST FOUR.
 
Anyway I couldn’t possibly be arsed with this tonight, I have to get a taxi to the airport tomorrow morning at QUARTER PAST FOUR.

*jolts awake at 04:12 and is sick in cab to London Southend whilst split in two and coked off knockers* :disco:
 
Can’t believe I forgot to mention he asked whether I was TOP OR BOTTOM.

“Just wondering”

He sounds about as straight as the guy I once met up with. He started off by suggesting we watched straight porn together. It wasn't long before he was asking if I wanted to wank him or even suck him off if I was "up for it". :side-eye:
 
I imagine you'd need a very heavy duty bulldog clip to keep that clamped
 
Oh he didn’t come home till 1 in the morning by which point I was in bed. LUCKILY as I would not want to be flying to France this morning prolapsed and off my nut on drugs. :eyes:
 
I am guilty of many things but surely not causing a Beirut explosion.
 
Oh he didn’t come home till 1 in the morning by which point I was in bed. LUCKILY as I would not want to be flying to France this morning prolapsed and off my nut on drugs. :eyes:

...again.
 

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