Speculate wildly about QUICHE

Carola killed Queen Elizabeth in order for the coronation quiche to happen
 
Quiche kills more people a year in the US than heart disease and guns.
 
Quiche once ran the London Marathon in less than two hours, but was disqualified for smelling a bit fishy.
 
If Quiche is not refrigerated within 6 hours of purchase, it begins to look like Denise Welch and starts loudly declaring that her son is in a band.
 
Truth rather than speculation, but I think it fits here:

When I worked in the Co-Op as a teenager, an old woman came up to me and asked me for a “quickie”. It took three repetitions and her putting “cheese and onion” in front of it before I realised she meant a pastry based eggy delight rather than my penis in her dusty hole.
 
There is a quiche based peado ring and pizzagate was a dead cat to distract people from the TRUTH
 
Chemtrails are finely ground up quiche being disposed by the man because quiche is shit and no one eats it
 
Quiche can be enjoyed at breakfast, lunch, or dinner, but never brunch, and anyone who says otherwise should not be trusted. I can't elaborate. I've already said too much. Remain alert.
 
Dozens of celebrities chose their stage names to pay tribute to the magic of quiche, including Quiche Lorraine Chase, Mini Quiche Driver and Quicher Sutherland.
 
The man who stopped the tanks in Tiananmen Square was on a routine quiche delivery; the shopping bags he was carrying were filled with quiche. His identity has never been disclosed as authorities feared it may destabilise the vital quiche pipeline running throughout the country.
 
In a change of tact, the Eurovision trophy for 2023 will not be some banal glass monstrosity, but a quiche handcrafted by Lidl artisans specially trained in the art of egg and pastry.

Sponsored, of course, by Moroccan Oil (Special Quiche Edition)
 
It was Carly SLAY Jepsen's food of choice on JESSUS' Table Manners podcast but there was some ensuing drama et CETERA
 
Rumour has it, the coronation quiche was so named because King Charles now has to wear it on his head. Forever. Even whilst it rots.
 

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