Speculate wildly on WAYS TO SAVE KATY PERRY'S CAREER

[AGinAg (37)]

Covering Dancing In The Moonlight with some ugly man on acoustic guitar.

 

[GNL]

Killing Lorde and stealing her Spotify streams

Unfortunately many of the streams were lost in the scuffle, and Katy was only able to make off with Solar Power

 

[Joseph]

Launching a line of feminine products called “Fanny Fireworks”

 

[Joseph]

Releasing “My Neck My Back” as a duet with the hologram of Whitney Houston

 

[GNL]

Playing Jenny in the Hollywood film version of 11:11 A Ghost Story.

 

[Joseph]

Joining @dUb on TGPL and discussing her love of Christian rap

 

[dmlaw]

Returning to releasing music under the name Kathryn Hudson. Her debut single is named ‘I Want to be Cleansed by the Power of the Lord (It’s Jizz. The Power of the Lord is Jizz)’.

 

[Pipo]

Release a diss track aimed at Kesha

 

[Joseph]

Release a piss track aimed at Kesha

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Selling herself on Vinted.

 

[Penelope]

Releasing a big large piss on camera and selling it for a monthly $17.99 subscription on JustForFans.

 

[Halli]

Rebranding as Katy Perru Halwell and wetting pants expose.

 

[Apoca]

Entering Melodifestivalen 2025 with an Ingela Pling Forsman ballad about människobarn.

 

[Pipo]

Get pregnant by Chase, team leader of the PAW Patrol (or by Tinky Winky).

 

[Penelope]

Making out with her mother (full tongues), converting to Islam and endorsing Recep Tayyip Erdogan as President of Turkey.

 

[Kratz]

Becoming the face of San Marino Outlet Experience

 

[Finn]

Swapping Dr Luke with Dr Hilary Jones

 

[Joseph]

Renaming Woman’s World as Woman’s Work and listing it under Katy Bush

 

[Joseph]

Creating a Time Machine to go back and fly a third plane into the Twin Towers for the EXPOSURE

 

[ButterTart]

Opening a dinosaur themed restaurant called Goodness Gracious How Cretaceous.

 

[Penelope]

KONSTRAKTA.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Hosting a charity concert in the memory of Rolf Harris

 

[Penelope]

Hosting a charity concert in the memory of Hannah Ingram-Moore's private spa.

 

[Finn]

Hosting a charity concert in the memory of Hannah Ingram-Moore's private spa.

 

[Joseph]

Opening a pet store called “Caty Purry’s Feline Emporium” and only selling you a cat if you can show 100+ streams of Woman’s World on your phone.

 

[ZenGiraffe]

Perform a hostile takeover of the Wimbledon Hobbycraft, then selling all employees for parts

 

[Joseph]

Remaking Especially For You with Axel Rose as Kylie

 

[Velvet Skies]

Giving a performance of "Woman's World" at Kamala's inauguration and ending it by buing crushed by an anvil fallen from a coconut tree.

 

[AGinAg (37)]

Self imolation

 

[Velvet Skies]

Cutting her hair and reprising the role of fan favorite Che Diaz in "And Just Like That..."

 

[GNL]

Cutting her hair, streaming herself living in a house with a bunch of random celebrities and calling her new music "purposeful pop".

 

[ButterTart]

Scoring a club smash by bringing the British phrase 'elephant in the room' to America.

 

[Dark Carnival]

 

[ZenGiraffe]

View attachment 28354

well this is truly chilling.

 

[K.C.]

Hiring @Jark

 

[K.C.]

Murdering Dr Luke onstage

 

[Joseph]

Katy Perry STUNS in new photo showing her ripping up pic of Dr Luke on SNL stage

 

[Debbie Jellinsky]

Starring in a musical version of the movie Roar and getting mauled by a lion

 

[K.C.]

Televising her hysterectomy

 

[Joseph]

Adopting “backpack kid” and forcing him to be her opening act for her “Waking Up In Vegas Casino Tour 2025”