it’s hard with Rita - sometimes you think she’s Moopy’s number one sleuth, other times you question whether she knows her alphabet
@Ag this is my list of secret words
Indie - platypus, Jiminy Cricket
Rhythmbarbican - lightbulb, Selena Gomez
Kate - cold feet, loganberries
Suomi - donk, Switzerland
Beryl - Mamma Mia, Horlicks
Win The Game - amyl nitrates
COB - Gary Wilmot, Ashby-de-la-Zouch
Tisch - Tik Tok, ditzy
Gangsta Nancy Lam - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Lucille - Duplo, memorabilia, taramasalata
ButterTart - buy-one-get-one-free
Soldi - Chiquitita, flammable, Trophy Wife
ZenGiraffe - Rachel Stevens
Rita - kumquat, Shipping forecast
Tracey Stubbs you mean?
Switzerland is definitely not one of my words - I know I’ve said Switzerland a lot but I’m just a big fan of the country Switzerland and its inhabitants, including Celine Dion.
SNEAKY CUNT
Zsa Zsa Gabor? I thought that whore died.
SNEAKY CUNTI’ve built a centopath out of Duplo in her honour.
Where is Nicaragua?I went to Nicaragua
I met a jaguar
He was called Kesha
But I renamed him Rita
Patsy Palmer and Selena Gomez
Wiped Windolene all over his fez
Next to Honduras I think.Where is Nicaragua?
I went to Nicaragua
I met a jaguar
He was called Kesha
But I renamed him Rita
Patsy Palmer and Selena Gomez
Wiped Windolene all over his fez
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago--never mind how long precisely--having little or no money in my taramasalata and nothing particular to interest me or Priti Patel on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating lego circulation.
There's a place downtown,
Where Priti Patels all come around
It's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free for all
And ferrets turn me on
When they take it off, when they take it off everybody take it off
There's a place I know if you're looking for a show
Where they go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor
And they turn me on when they take it off
When they take it off everybody take it off
(cont'd)
Mine is a little classic called Tik Tok
wake up in the morning feeling like Rita n Diddy
(Hey whatever Suomi)
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit Switzerland (let's go)
Before I leave, spray myself with a bottle of fart
'Cause when I leave for the night, I wanna smell like Buttertart
Have one back you SNEAKY CUNTOK. I think I’m all SNEAKY CUNTED OUT. Off to dance the night away with Reba Mcentyre, and Lizzie Cundy under a disco ball made of SPUNK. Bye babes xxooxxum
Have one back then SNEAKY CUNTOK. I think I’m all SNEAKY CUNTED OUT. Off to dance the night away with Reba Mcentyre, and Lizzie Cundy under a disco ball made of SPUNK. Bye babes xxooxxum
I want to go out on the town with our Rita and dance to HITS such as ChiquititaOK. I think I’m all SNEAKY CUNTED OUT. Off to dance the night away with Reba Mcentyre, and Lizzie Cundy under a disco ball made of SPUNK. Bye babes xxooxxum

And Mamma MiaI want to go out on the town with our Rita and dance to HITS such as Chiquitita![]()
I want to go out on the town with our Rita and dance to HITS such as Chiquitita![]()
I'm not reading this, just take a SNEAKY CUNT.If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Priti Patel kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They’re quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They’re nice and all - I’m not saying that - but they’re also touchy as hell. Besides, I’m not going to tell you my whole goodam autobiography or anything. I’ll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me last Christmas just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out and take it easy. I mean that’s all I told Zsa Zsa Gabor about, and he’s my brother and all. He’s in Tuvalu. That isn’t too far from this crumby place, and he comes over and visits me practically every week end. He’s going to drive me home when I go home next month maybe. He just got a Ferret. One of those little English jobs that can do around two hundred miles an hour. It cost him damn near four thousand bucks. He’s got a lot of dough, now. He didn’t use to. He used to be just a regular writer, when he was home. He wrote this terrific book of short stories, The Secret Dildos, in case you never heard of him. The best one in it was «‘The Secret Dildos.’ It was about this little kid that wouldn’t let anybody look at his dildos because he’d bought it with his own money. It killed me. Now he’s out in Tuvalu, Zsa Zsa Gabor., being a prostitute. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s The Saturdays. Don’t even mention them to me.