Moopyvision 2010-2019 Round 11: Denmark, Germany & Ukraine

Could you imagine anyone in the world having Perfect Life as their favourite song? I think I'd try to have them made into dog food.
 
The lyrics to Sister are so hilariously Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?, a fact which completely evaded me at the time.

I’m tired, tired of always losing
I tried to stop your fire
Turns out that I couldn’t
I’m tired, tired of competing
I tried to hold you under
But honey, you kept breathing

Needless to say they deleted each other from Whatsapp before the plane back to Cologne had even finished taxi-ing.
 
Penelope said:
Anyway Levina has entered witness protection but forgot to change her name.

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What an exceptionally LONG ARM

Levina was the the flatest, most pointless entry of all time. As a British man, it at least feels comforting to know other nations enter things just as hopeless. I hear SuRie is a FAN
 
#8 Elaiza – Is it Right?



59 points

Highest: 1x 12pts (Raining on Me)

Lowest: 3x 0pts (Buttertart, Win_the_game, Jacques)

Fun fact: I thought this video had a BILLION views before my eyes refocused. Well, why wouldn’t I think that? This incredible lesbian polka was one of the 2014’s contests breakout hits on the mainland, reaching #1 in Poland and blowing up clubs in Transnistria. According to the Moopyvision spreadsheet, this ode to rhetorical questions is set to be included on Raining On Me's wedding playlist. I've not been invited, have you? Elaiza recently died.
 
VoR said:
The lyrics to Sister are so hilariously Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?, a fact which completely evaded me at the time.

I’m tired, tired of always losing
I tried to stop your fire
Turns out that I couldn’t
I’m tired, tired of competing
I tried to hold you under
But honey, you kept breathing
Click to expand...
Look at the subtle use of metaphor at play in this masterpiece. Compare this to the TRIPE that ended up winning.

I'm a big boy and I'm in an arcade
Ah-ah-ah-ah
I've got a ticket for a big arcade
Ah-ah-ah-ah
I might have a go on the penny diddler
If I win enough coupons I could get a Simpsons bookmark

Load of NONSENSE.
 
I'm never not going to be entranced by the idea that one year Germany thought the secret to winning Eurovision would be sending PAM ST CLEMENT JR with LESBIAN OOMPAH :disco:
 
Suomi said:
#8 Elaiza – Is it Right?



59 points

Highest: 1x 12pts (Raining on Me)

Lowest: 3x 0pts (Buttertart, Win_the_game, Jacques)

Fun fact: I thought this video had a BILLION views before my eyes refocused. Well, why wouldn’t I think that? This incredible lesbian polka was one of the 2014’s contests breakout hits on the mainland, reaching #1 in Poland and blowing up clubs in Transnistria. According to the Moopyvision spreadsheet, this ode to rhetorical questions is set to be included on Raining On Me's wedding playlist. I've not been invited, have you? Elaiza recently died.
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Absolute piece of SHIT.

The song, not Suomi. Although getting my hopes up that she'd died was a bit of a dick move.
 
Suomi said:
this ode to rhetorical questions is set to be included on Raining On Me's wedding playlist. I've not been invited, have you? Elaiza recently died.
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I am married and indeed absolutely NO ONE was invited :D (bar bound and gagged witnesses)

As a follow up however, this song could not be more appropriate. Is it right? Doubtful but we make our choices in life and Elaiza gets ALL OF THEM as far as I'm concerned.
 
#7 Jamie-Lee – Ghost



72 points and no friends

Highest: 3 x 8pts (wurst, Raining on Me, Penelope)

Lowest: 1x0pts (Alla)

Song-wise I think we can all agree that this was not the worst. But the last-placer is never really the worst song, is it? The last-placer in Eurovision has either usually been a nice song that faded into the background or has done something so objectionable that it has actively spurred any of its limited pool of voters from voting for it. Well, good old Jamie-Lee managed both of these categories by having a nice radio song ruined by dressing like a gothic Christmas ornament. Jamie-Lee has the air of a child whose parents never said no, and this kind of energy does not win votes. Everyone involved in this was probably suppressing a snigger as Jamie-Lee ordered her servant to "MAKE IT AGAIN!" dressed like this during breakfast on that Eurovision morning.
 
I have no idea how Jamie Lee didn't win the Barbara Dex award. Yes, Croatia had decided to dress like a slightly careworn swan, but look at her.
 
Six songs survive:

Glorious
Satellite
Black Smoke
You Let Me Walk Alone
Standing Still
Taken by a Stranger
 
I find Ghost really mesmering - it reaches into a common pool with other such classics as Lisa Ajax - My Heart Wants Me Dead, Lisa Ajax - I Don't Give A, and Lisa Ajax - Torn, all songs about being a rich teenager addicted to Citalopram that I, as a gay man aged 28, like to dance alone to half-heartedly in my room while people ignore me on Grindr :disco:
 
Was an explanation given for the outfit? At least on Drag Race they're given a chance to explain their bullshit choices.
 
Ghost is QUITE NICE all things considered and I can't say the halloween outfit really makes it any worse.
 
#6 Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone

[out of respect for Elaiza I will not be posting a link to this sad song]

93 points

Highest: 1x 12pts (Buttertart)

Lowest : 1x 0pts (Kalabaliken)

This manipulative mess managed Germany a top 5 placing after many German LAST PLACES. There was some concern beforehand that this could end up winning if enough hearts were tugged, but thankfully all the voters of 2018 really cared about was Fuego vs Toy. I really don’t see the appeal of this, so am going to hand over to @ButterTart to explain his voting.
 
Is it right? Is it wrong? I CAN'T GO ON :(

My 12 is based entirely on that perfectly pitched line. Never mind the rest, Lena included
 
Ag said:
This IS Germany.
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D2mOEB7WkAAL0ZY
 
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