My Top 500 Songs (complete!!)

192 Human League - Don't You Want Me (1981)

The moment synthpop took the small step from being a preserve of weird men up to classic pop for everyone. It took the element of the male/ female duel from country and soul and placed it directly into a desperate synthpop melodrama regarding fame and failure, loaded with ego and insecurity.

That opening line, that synth riff. It had it all. To think it almost wasn't a single.

 
191 Matt Darey - Beautiful (2002)

A thundering, ecstatic, euphoric trance blast. I have fond memories of realising how beautiful everyone was, hearing this in a club, when I was on a pill too many.

 
Love the collabs between Matt and Marcella. U Shine On is my favourite, but Beautiful is clearly their big moment (besides the piss-taking X-Factor audition of course).
 
Agneeta said:
198 Soul II Soul - Back To Life (1989)

@funky get yourself back here right now.

Talk about setting a scene, dropping a mandate and having a megahit. I'm sure I can't do it justice or say anything a thousand talking head shows or Guardian articles haven't said already. I still here it on the radio and out and about, covered at gigs etc and it still sounds as fresh now as it did to my young ears, 37 years ago(!)

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OK so yeah this song. Wow.

I might have mentioned it before, but if 1990/1991 were my peak music years (there is scientific evidence apparently that our music tastes are formed at the age of 13/14, which tracks here) then 1989 was the coming out party. Everything seemed to happen in '89, and almost by divine magic, the last year of the 80s essentially shaped the entire decade to come. Two track spring to mind - Black Box's "Ride On Time", and this.

Memories are hazy now but when Back To Life came out, I had never heard anything like it in my life. Hip-Hop hadn't been around that long, so the notion of R&B leaning on hip-hop influences (which has been the norm for R&B ever since and to this day) was a brand new thing. And also bear in mind, pop music had essentially SWALLOWED R&B for the 80s, where everything was electronic, synth-led, industrial or heavily produced. We still had great music, but the raw, instrumentation-led sounds of the 60s and 70s were long gone. Soul II Soul undid everything in one song - and a remix of an acapella at that.

They weren't the first act to sample drum loops. Hip-Hop - most notably Eric B & Rakim - laid claim to that, but they brought it into soul music, into pop music, into mainstream, number-one-for-multiple-weeks music. That vocal, those strings, that piano - it was like they created acid jaz and neo-soul overnight. They brought an alternative, smoother R&B sound to counteract new jack, house and rap which influenced everyone from Enigma to Brand New Heavies to Mica Paris to D'Angelo. To En Vogue and Jill Scott and TLC and even Prince and George Michael and Madonna.

So yeah, this song.

Also that all being said, I think "Keep On Moving" is EVEN BETTER.
 
Agneeta said:
191 Matt Darey - Beautiful (2002)

A thundering, ecstatic, euphoric trance blast. I have fond memories of realising how beautiful everyone was, hearing this in a club, when I was on a pill too many.

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LOVE this, but love "Liberation (Fly Like An Angel)" even more. Cream, Amnesia, 1999. Oh, the memories.
 
Beautiful and Stay are absolutely top-tier of the big melodramatic trance era

A travesty neither became beloved classics
 
funky said:
OK so yeah this song. Wow.

I might have mentioned it before, but if 1990/1991 were my peak music years (there is scientific evidence apparently that our music tastes are formed at the age of 13/14, which tracks here) then 1989 was the coming out party. Everything seemed to happen in '89, and almost by divine magic, the last year of the 80s essentially shaped the entire decade to come. Two track spring to mind - Black Box's "Ride On Time", and this.

Memories are hazy now but when Back To Life came out, I had never heard anything like it in my life. Hip-Hop hadn't been around that long, so the notion of R&B leaning on hip-hop influences (which has been the norm for R&B ever since and to this day) was a brand new thing. And also bear in mind, pop music had essentially SWALLOWED R&B for the 80s, where everything was electronic, synth-led, industrial or heavily produced. We still had great music, but the raw, instrumentation-led sounds of the 60s and 70s were long gone. Soul II Soul undid everything in one song - and a remix of an acapella at that.

They weren't the first act to sample drum loops. Hip-Hop - most notably Eric B & Rakim - laid claim to that, but they brought it into soul music, into pop music, into mainstream, number-one-for-multiple-weeks music. That vocal, those strings, that piano - it was like they created acid jaz and neo-soul overnight. They brought an alternative, smoother R&B sound to counteract new jack, house and rap which influenced everyone from Enigma to Brand New Heavies to Mica Paris to D'Angelo. To En Vogue and Jill Scott and TLC and even Prince and George Michael and Madonna.

So yeah, this song.

Also that all being said, I think "Keep On Moving" is EVEN BETTER.
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I thought you might have something to say.

Keep On Moving I personally under-rate and I should not. Although yellow is not the colour of sun rays, it's a gorgeous suggestion, which lifts the whole song. I couldn't possibly embrace it on cold, windy, grey February afternoon. Ask me again in July.
 
Agneeta said:
I thought you might have something to say.

Keep On Moving I personally under-rate and I should not. Although yellow is not the colour of sun rays, it's a gorgeous suggestion, which lifts the whole song. I couldn't possibly embrace it on cold, windy, grey February afternoon. Ask me again in July.
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Another misheard lyric from me. I spent years thinking she was singing 'yellow is the colour of some rain'
 
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190 September - Satellites (2005)

Taking more than a touch of influence from The Jacksons Can You Feel It, Petra in her pre- Cry For You existence had Satellites. For my money a lot better, although in desperate need of an elevated remix. I think we were all so desperate for good pop in the 00s, Sweden was the natural source.

I hate to go all Kylie is frumpy, but doesn't she look terrible in the video? She's pretty, but the white eye makeup is a hard no. It's like she's followed a Trump make-up tuition.

Those seeking nostalgic refuge in the 2000s, In Orbit is a great album.

 
189 Lady Gaga - Bad Romance (2009)

For a while, I was of the belief that this was the greatest pop song ever released. It's not that I was wrong, just that by the very nature of pop, it comes and goes and eventually gets replaced, but this had staying power and stands as one of the best selling songs of all time. Her staying power is remarkable, this is one of eight of her songs in the Billions Club.

I will never quite get over her era of in video sponsorship. A similar nostalgia when you see old VHS recordings with the advert breaks left in.

 
187 La Bouche - Be My Lover (1994)
188 Magic Affair - Omen III (1994)

Both absolute eurodance staples, neither of which hit the heady heights in the UK charts, although I suspect Be My Lover has ingrained itself somewhat, appearing on various dance compilations and been sampled. Both artists were German in origin, with similar qualities (bpm, diva vocal, nonsense rap). Omen III is unique in that it's basically Goth-eurotechno.

I suspect that particular brand of eurodance/ techno had reached saturation point. Thirty years on, these tinny bangers stand tall amongst the greats :disco:



 
186 Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition (2008)

We love an unlikely hit. I know so little about this, I went on Wiki, but honestly Australian Indie band is about as much as I can gather.

Really the song is much more than an indie band that got lucky. The falsetto is heartbreaking, the whole vibe is nostalgic, that sweet balancing act between charming and tragic.

 
185 Steps - Last Thing On My Mind (1998)

Following the surprise success of novelty hit 5678, amongst a tide of other novelty hits that marked the era, I'm not sure anyone was expecting, let alone Steps themselves tha they would get a second hit. Their trajectory to the top was one of excitement for pop fans, providing proof that the market was craving pure plastic pop.

This was an upgrade on the Bananarama original, and a surprise top 10 smash. Definitely one of my original era Steps favourites.

 
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182 Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive (1979)

I'm never going to stop playing this, but it's heartbreaking to know Gaynor has come out full MAGA. You must acknowledge it's importance within gay/ female music. Thematically led to huge hits like Believe, Survivor, Stronger etc.

I hope she sees the light.

 
Was obsessed with their Last Thing On My Mind the summer it came out (to me it was a fresh hit, and I find the Bananarama version to be limp and drab in comparison anyway). What a splash of dance-pop it was.
 
181 Girls Aloud - Something Kinda Oooh (2006)

The girls were bobbing away nicely during the 00s providing an assortment of lovely shiny hits.

Something Kinda Oooh was in a different league. It wasn't familiar pop territory to most ears, it's unhinged - the pivots could have been jarring but honestly just add to the relentless thrill ride, the energy is sweetly kinetic, and subtlety was in the bin.

It gave them a career extension, despite coming from a retrospectivly premature GH album. Suddenly sniffy critics, were looking their way with admiration and writing about them positively. They defined the decade.

 
straightorbroken said:
Was obsessed with their Last Thing On My Mind the summer it came out (to me it was a fresh hit, and I find the Bananarama version to be limp and drab in comparison anyway). What a splash of dance-pop it was.
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The original really is limp brocoli.
 
Agneeta said:
187 La Bouche - Be My Lover (1994)
188 Magic Affair - Omen III (1994)

Both absolute eurodance staples, neither of which hit the heady heights in the UK charts, although I suspect Be My Lover has ingrained itself somewhat, appearing on various dance compilations and been sampled. Both artists were German in origin, with similar qualities (bpm, diva vocal, nonsense rap). Omen III is unique in that it's basically Goth-eurotechno.

I suspect that particular brand of eurodance/ techno had reached saturation point. Thirty years on, these tinny bangers stand tall amongst the greats :disco:



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I fucking love Omen III! The fact that this was number 1 for a few weeks in Germany makes me proud to be 🇩🇪 😅
 
Agneeta said:
181 Girls Aloud - Something Kinda Oooh (2006)

The girls were bobbing away nicely during the 00s providing an assortment of lovely shiny hits.

Something Kinda Oooh was in a different league. It wasn't familiar pop territory to most ears, it's unhinged - the pivots could have been jarring but honestly just add to the relentless thrill ride, the energy is sweetly kinetic, and subtlety was in the bin.

It gave them a career extension, despite coming from a retrospectivly premature GH album. Suddenly sniffy critics, were looking their way with admiration and writing about them positively. They defined the decade.

Click to expand...

Just look at the hair in that screenshot :disco:
 
180 Sylvester - You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) (1978)

Dear Gay Lord
We thank You for Sylvester
We thank You for the pulsating rhythm
We thank You for the falsetto
We thank You for the exciting fashions

Thank You Gay Lord

 
179 Destiny's Child - Lose My Breath (2004)

Following a hiatus they came back to remind humanity, just why we needed them. Holy hell, what a return. Don't get me wrong Bey et al do a splendid job, but the production is an absolute smash. In another chart era it would have been a no.1 and grand swan song.

 
178 D:Ream - U R The Best Thing (1993)

I have some questions and concerns regarding this. First of all Peter Cunnah is heterosexual? Like discovering many cast members of the last series of Traitors were straight.

Secondly why has the radio edit, that we were oh so familiar with been changed to another version on streaming? It's most jarring. If that version remains expect this to sink, if I ever update this list.

 
177 S'Express - Theme From S'Express (1988)

Thankfully no questions about openly gay Mark Moore. Phew.

A landmark moment in sample heavy acid house and a huge commercial hit. Heavily taking from Rose Royce to great effect, it really is irresistible.

Also very partial to the Tony De Vit remix :disco:



 
U R The Best Thing >>>>>> Things Can Only Get Better even before the latter was ruined by the New Labour associations.

S-Express a classic of the genre - have you heard the original version of I've Got The Hots For You:

 
176 Sam Fender - Hypersonic Missiles (2019)

The current no.1 artist, I don't just live in the distant past! The acceptable face of current young male singers, I know @funky finds joy in the young lad.

Released in 2019 a surprisingly relevant song for the times we live in:

I am so blissfully unaware of everything
Kids in Gaza are bombed and I'm just out of it
The tensions of the world are rising higher
We're probably due another war with all this ire

A good guy. Genocide deniers please do fuck off forever, I know you don't come into this topic, so I'm free to speak - I fucking hate you.

Anyway politics aside, it was the trancey Patrick Topping remix that pushed it this high, not that I disliked the original.



 
175 LeAnn Rimes - How Do I Live? (1998)
173 LeAnn Rimes - Can't Fight The Moonlight (2000)

The two big smashes from Queen LeAnn. Her remix album is honestly one of my most played albums of all time. I even dropped a LeAnn Rimes remix playlist over lockdown. I'm a huge fan of 10p remixes, I first heard a How Do I Live remix in the background of a gay play I saw called "Shopping and Fucking", it changed my life trajectory. It was very cheap and I still play it.

I once did a rawk version of How Do I Live at a work karaoke. It was very stimulating. Anyway I believe that this remains the best selling no.7 peaking track of all time. That may have changed since some artist with no vowels in their name never met another artist, barely recorded a song and it was passively played until it became a hit.

Anyway Moonlight was a Diane Warren special, we all know the story. Good for LeAnn getting a no.1 hit.







 
174 ABBA - The Winner Takes It All (1980)

Currently one of ABBA's biggest streaming hits, this was UK no.1, the day I was born. I know it's a really small thing, but that really pleases me. What luck!

What is left to be said about it? It was the peak of their post relationship trauma porn. Agnetha is vocally exceptional, belting where necessary, elsewhere displaying extraordinary emotional nuance.

Masters at work.

 
Sardonicus said:
U R The Best Thing >>>>>> Things Can Only Get Better even before the latter was ruined by the New Labour associations.
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Oh God, Things... was fun for a few weeks. But inevitably ended up in a subsection that BOILS MY PISS. File along with Celebration, Walking on Sunshine and Happy.

U R was a great 90s house track.
 
How to even function after losing your shit, breath and internal organs listening to Lose My Breath. Quite possibly the best girlgroup song of all time.

S'Express. I've danced to it with Lady Kier. I'll never forgive myself rubbing off her lipstick on my cheek before taking a picture. What a woman. Oh and what a song here too of course.

ABBA. When every song was a victory lap for them.
 
Lose My Breath being #2 for four weeks was painful. I don’t think the video was even out in its first week, so it seemed to grow in exposure post that week, hence its longevity and quite a quick moving time. But a shame it likely cost them a chart topper. I’m a bit bored of it now but it sure as shit slaps :disco:
 
S-Express were just SO MUCH FUN

Especially the RUDE 12" versions

SUCK ME OFF SUCK ME OFF SUCK ME OFF
SUCK ME OFF SUCK ME OFF SUCK ME OFF
OH THAT'S BAAAD...
...NO THAT'S GOOD!
 
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