ButterTart
Like Mussolini or Kennedy
Christ alive, GOD FUCKING JUL alright?I SAID, GOD JUL!
Hope @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid went apeshit on presents xx
Christ alive, GOD FUCKING JUL alright?I SAID, GOD JUL!
On his way to KURILSKAccording to NORAD, Father Christmas is in Micronesia.

Hope @HerSereneHighnessAnniFrid went and shit on presents xx
Christma’s sounds like the sort of spelling you see on sandwich boards outside local shops.It's telling that my autocorrect library apparently includes CHARISTMAS but not Christmas
It also for some reason includes CHRISTMA'S
I've made the sausagemeat stuffing, put all the prezzies in a pile to wrap, put the cards that need to be posted through doors in a pile and put the cards that still need to be written in a pile.
Procrastination at its finest.
FUCKING CHRISTMASI'm having LOTS OF FUN today
I bought some chicken and cake for Christmas Eve (that's what they do here) to eat by myself. One of my friends (who pretends he's drunk and wants me to suck him off) said he would come over, so I waited for him to take a bath and make a decision. He decided not to come, so I did my original plan but this time disappointed. He said he wanted to call me at 10.
Then my nephew called and used computer magic to fix up a retro games console thing, but I broke the memory card because the box is a weird shape, so it was a waste of time.
Then the previous sexual canceller didn't call and didn't reply to my messagesFUCKING CHRISTMAS
Omg babes the short story IS HAPPENING!!!
Not yet!!!
Read this as A SHOE AND WILLI CAN UNCORK A BOTTLE OF WINE WITH A SHOE AND A WALL
Have you got the decs up yet?


Are you still at the caravan?I’m in TROUBLE for putting the FIRE ON.
Okay, that does sound mint, I've actually written that in my pad to work on later. If anyone gets murdered let me know what weapon was used.It’s quite SPOOKY HERE, @BlitzenTart an empty caravan site on Christmas Eve would be a great FESTIVE HORROR location.